#1
Alright, I know the pit is probably just going to attempt to make me feel worse, but I really really need some advise.
Basically, there is this girl in my life (well call her Mary), and we're practically going out, and she's probably one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. Problem is, her alcoholism is getting really bad. I am honestly afraid to talk to her about it or even try and stop her anymore. One of her bestfriends and I were there one time when she decided she wanted to drink. She bitched him out and made him leave and told him that she would rather have the two shots she wanted than him as a friend. Everynight, she always says "Let's party" or "Let's go get ****ed up". It's not even just alcohol, it's whatever she can get her hands on. Worst of all, it's starting to control her. For example, her best friend is a fair bit younger than her and doesn't do any drugs really wanted to smoke with me/us and Mary told me she was strongly against her friend doing any sorts of them. Yet sure enough, a few nights later, Mary decided she wanted to Robotrip and offered to let her friend do it. I talked her friend out of it but and I know Mary regretted it a lot the next day. Then there is this next part that makes it even worse...
My friend (Mary) is on a lot of antidepressents... all of which do NOT mix with alcohol. Everytime she drinks she gets very sick, yet she still does it. At this very moment I am sitting here worried sick because her bestfriend called me in tears (like I said, she is a fair bit younger than us and she hasn't been around this kind of stuff) because Mary got very sick and is throwing up in the bathroom and she doesn't know what to do. Worst of all, her parents are home, and I know if they find her she will be sent to treatment. Worst of all, she told me if she ends up in treatment again... Well, I'd rather not think about that.
Please tell me what to do UG.
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#2
Quote by Stoner stone
Alright, I know the pit is probably just going to attempt to make me feel worse, but I really really need some advise.
Basically, there is this girl in my life (well call her Mary), and we're practically going out, and she's probably one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. Problem is, her alcoholism is getting really bad. I am honestly afraid to talk to her about it or even try and stop her anymore. One of her bestfriends and I were there one time when she decided she wanted to drink. She bitched him out and made him leave and told him that she would rather have the two shots she wanted than him as a friend. Everynight, she always says "Let's party" or "Let's go get ****ed up". It's not even just alcohol, it's whatever she can get her hands on. Worst of all, it's starting to control her. For example, her best friend is a fair bit younger than her and doesn't do any drugs really wanted to smoke with me/us and Mary told me she was strongly against her friend doing any sorts of them. Yet sure enough, a few nights later, Mary decided she wanted to Robotrip and offered to let her friend do it. I talked her friend out of it but and I know Mary regretted it a lot the next day. Then there is this next part that makes it even worse...
My friend (Mary) is on a lot of antidepressents... all of which do NOT mix with alcohol. Everytime she drinks she gets very sick, yet she still does it. At this very moment I am sitting here worried sick because her bestfriend called me in tears (like I said, she is a fair bit younger than us and she hasn't been around this kind of stuff) because Mary got very sick and is throwing up in the bathroom and she doesn't know what to do. Worst of all, her parents are home, and I know if they find her she will be sent to treatment. Worst of all, she told me if she ends up in treatment again... Well, I'd rather not think about that.
Please tell me what to do UG.
Sounds like that would be the best for this girl, don't you think?
Meadows
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#4
She says she'll kill herself if she gets sent back there. Obviously didn't work the first time. I mean I don't want it to sound like she's a horrible person, because she's not, at all. She just turns into a monster because of this ****.
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#5
She needs treatment.
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#6
Yes. The girl is obviously addicted and abusing everything. She really needs help. If she is gonna treat friends like **** that try to help her, you all need to band together, and get her help/treatment. Just freaking do it, don't let her treat herself and others like that.
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#8
Thing is, treatment won't do **** unless she decides to go there herself. If she just gets sent there, it might just make things worse. ****, she met her coke dealer in treatment.
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#9
Quote by Oroborous
Therapy?

There must be a reason she drinks so much

She's in therapy and AA. She's been to treatment before.
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#11
she needs quite a bit of help eh?

suicide and a alcoholic....

not a good combo
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#12
How old is she? It seems like treatment would be the best course of action, but if she's already been there once and to no avail it might make things worse. Therapy might work, like Oroborous said.
#13
+1. I had a friend in similar situation, tried to help him, but the treatment did it finally.

Try finding out WHY is she drinking, and talking to her about it. I mean, if she's on antidepressants, there IS something deeper.
#14
We're both 17.
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#15
that sucks ass..

well, if shes doing all that f'd up stuff, and shes losing herself to it.... why are you still talking to her? you should TRY and get her the help she needs one more time, and if it doesnt work, you know that you've tried and you should just move on and meet someone else who will listen and wont drink as much..

if she doesnt give it up, you really should just not talk to her anymore, and let her figure herself out and fix herself and her life.

i know you probably really dont want to, but you probably should.
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#16
Quote by Petar
+1. I had a friend in similar situation, tried to help him, but the treatment did it finally.

Try finding out WHY is she drinking, and talking to her about it. I mean, if she's on antidepressants, there IS something deeper.

She says it's because she doesn't give a **** about anything. The meds she's on do that. Her parents I guess say some ****ed up stuff to her. She just has an extremely escapist personality.
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#18
First off, she's killing herself already by treating herself so poorly. Treatment centers commonly have to deal with suicide threats and know how to handle them best.

Second, some things you could do (not as an seperate option from treatment, but just to help ease things) are show her a good time while sober and make her feel confident in who she naturally is. She obviously has a lot of emotional baggage or insecurity if she cannot handle reality unaltered... If you take her out to do clean, fun things, like a lunch date or movies or something active where she is focused on something meaningful, she'll hopefully start to heal. Also, if you try to have genuine conversations with her and avoid the topic of getting drunk, let her know what a great person she is without being overbearing or bringing it up as a part of her problem. If she feels interesting, cared for, fun, unique, loved... she will not NEED the alcohol as a crutch as much. When you do this stuff though, do NOT mention her problem. Do that aside from this. If she associates it with her problem, she will only look at it as pity and ingenuine.
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#19
Quote by ChristGrind
that sucks ass..

well, if shes doing all that f'd up stuff, and shes losing herself to it.... why are you still talking to her? you should TRY and get her the help she needs one more time, and if it doesnt work, you know that you've tried and you should just move on and meet someone else who will listen and wont drink as much..

if she doesnt give it up, you really should just not talk to her anymore, and let her figure herself out and fix herself and her life.

i know you probably really dont want to, but you probably should.

It's not that she doesn't listen to me, its that I can't ****ing talk to her about it anymore. I mean, I do my best not to let her drink, but her bestfriend is such a ****ing pushover. I told her the day after she bitched me and that other guy out not to let her drink and she actually grabbed me one time so that my friend could get to her stash of alcohol.
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#20
She obviously has problems, get her professional help immediately. Even if she hates you for it, you gotta do it
#21
Quote by vintage x metal
First off, she's killing herself already by treating herself so poorly. Treatment centers commonly have to deal with suicide threats and know how to handle them best.

Second, some things you could do (not as an seperate option from treatment, but just to help ease things) are show her a good time while sober and make her feel confident in who she naturally is. She obviously has a lot of emotional baggage or insecurity if she cannot handle reality unaltered... If you take her out to do clean, fun things, like a lunch date or movies or something active where she is focused on something meaningful, she'll hopefully start to heal. Also, if you try to have genuine conversations with her and avoid the topic of getting drunk, let her know what a great person she is without being overbearing or bringing it up as a part of her problem. If she feels interesting, cared for, fun, unique, loved... she will not NEED the alcohol as a crutch as much. When you do this stuff though, do NOT mention her problem. Do that aside from this. If she associates it with her problem, she will only look at it as pity and ingenuine.

I pretty much do this. It used to be when something bad happened in her life she wanted to drink and I would stop her, but now its every night.
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#22
Quote by Stoner stone
She says she'll kill herself if she gets sent back there. Obviously didn't work the first time. I mean I don't want it to sound like she's a horrible person, because she's not, at all. She just turns into a monster because of this ****.
Stop listening to her WORDS and listen to her ACTIONS.

She IS KILLING HERSELF. And you and the rest of her friends are watching this happen.

Your move. Your choice. Do you have the courage to be "uncool"?
Meadows
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#24
Quote by Stoner stone
I pretty much do this. It used to be when something bad happened in her life she wanted to drink and I would stop her, but now its every night.

Dont let her in the situation then. Give her something better to do. If she wants to go get ****ed up, take her out somewhere nice instead. Dont say 'No, I dont want you to drink, come with me', but dont mention it and offer something special. You say you're a good friend of her's and so you must know her well; what does she like to do? What's her favorite movie? Who are some of her friends that arent sucked into the same problems?

It doesnt help if youre there at a party with her. Get her away from it and opportunities for her to hurt herself.
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#25
yeah my friend is a heavy alcoholic and shes suicidal (were both 15.....) and im pretty sure her and your friend both need some kind of help whether by you or a friend or family (intervention) or something like that OR by treatment and therapy or something like that
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#26
she might hate you for a while but getting her treament would save her life...

one of my best friend od on some pills

and then his brother (another best friend) got super wasted then fell into a fire and burned to death...they couldnt save him when they pulled him out...

and a treatment center will know how to dealwith her if she is suicidal
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#28
She needs to go to treatment. If she commits suicide because of that, then that's just 1 less useless person on this earth. Call me any insults you can think of. I don't care.
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#29
If you don't deter her, you are supporting her.
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#30
try giving her some heroin, she will stop with the alcohol then i bet
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#31
Quote by rancidryan
try giving her some heroin, she will stop with the alcohol then i bet

You are one sick, sick person, and I suggest you gtfo of this thread before accidents happen.

TS, I'd give you the same advice the majority of this thread has already given, and that is that you make sure your girlfriend gets treatment, no matter how hard she refuses it. Not doing so will result in her killing herself through alcohol abuse, which will be slow and painful, not only for her but also for you, her friends, and everyone else who cares about her.
#32
sorry but i dont have much respect for people who have none for themselves at the end of the day she needs to realise what she is doing to her body admit she s got a problem and move on from there until she admits she needs help then i doubt treatment will work even if she is in the recovery place.

you need to give her something to look forward to TS maybe that will help.
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#33
Quote by rancidryan
sorry but i dont have much respect for people who have none for themselves at the end of the day she needs to realise what she is doing to her body admit she s got a problem and move on from there until she admits she needs help then i doubt treatment will work even if she is in the recovery place.

you need to give her something to look forward to TS maybe that will help.

I don't have respect for people who fail to recognise that not everybody is always capable of handling or even recognising a problem on their own. I should know, I've been away from UG for some time because of personal problems and I certainly wouldn't have been able to get over my problems on my own. Heck, I didn't even recognise that I had problems at first... like TS's girlfriend doesn't realise what she's doing to herself. That's what therapy is for: not only to solve the problem, but first of all making sure the person knows he/she HAS a problem that needs fixing.

So stop acting like the asshole I sincerely hope you're not. If you are, it might be you who needs treatment.
#34
that last post didnt mean to come across as asshole, i think we should keep this out of this thread too.
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#35
Quote by KlassikMetal666
Probably got raped by TS.

Not helping man

and holy ****! ZeG is back?

also, I agree, treatment now, she is gonna keep digging her own grave with all this alcohol and antidepressants, better off threatening to kill herself than eventually killing herself, harsh as that sounds