Poll: ???
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green
1 14%
blue
4 57%
red
0 0%
purple
2 29%
Voters: 7.
#1
Beneath the wave

If I wasn't bound by chains
I'd probably swim to the surface
But instead I'm alone again
At least I'm not feeling nervous

We're feeling fast and falling effective
Melodramatic and over eccentric
When even the orphaned orcas
Don't want to be our brides
I've skulled down sixteen litres
And I'm still not satisfied
Every time I lied
You lay in bed
The ocean bed
I'd never cried until my eyes were red

All I see is blue
And all I long to be
Upon the sand
And under tree
A beached whale that you'd name after me.




Living La Vida Loca

Day 75
Letter # 71
I hope this one makes it to the top.

Dear Angie,

I've long since settled in.
Yesterday I bought a coral couch
and love seat that go perfectly
with my seaweed curtains.
Now all I need to finish the place off
are two seahorse lamps
and a welcome mat.
The food has taken me a while
to get used to,
but the flounder at the market
has been very helpful
in telling me how to hide
certain tastes and textures.

I kind of expected
to have grown scales and gills by now,
but I'm still soaking in the skin
that my mother gave me.
I haven't seen any other humans
down here, though I'm sure I'm not
the only one whose ever gone overboard;
I suppose they all forgot
that they could hold their breath.

It hurts me to say,
but I've been having trouble
remembering your face.
Ironically, the only picture
I had of you got ruined in the rain.

I've missed you love, keep searching for me
and I'll keep searching for a way out of here;
I know we'll be together again some day.


Day 76
Letter # 72

This will be my last letter.
I won't even send it up.

Yesterday I was taking a nap
when something landed in my bed.
It was a note tied to a rock,
and it read:

Sweetheart I've waited as long as I can,
76 days with arms stretched and hands open.
I truly am sorry and wish for the best.
You should have come up for air
while you still had the chance.

Angie



Pitchfork

I choked Posiedon into submission,
stole his pitchfork of wonder and
took it for a joy ride.

I wandered from cavern to chasm
staring at wonderous fish and
gaping in awe at god's landscaping.
Everything was so beautiful
every eel in place,
every fish playing its part.

I devled deeper and deeper;
reaching unimaginable depths.
Soon creatures with multiple heads
and glowing bodies were swarming my small frame.
you don't belong here, land-dweller

They pulled the pitchfork from my hands;
my lungs started aching with water.
My eyes filling with the light from the monsters
from the deep. Soon Posiedon was calling me
toward the surface.
Choking me into submission.

It's the circle of life, land-dweller



six feet under the sea

I plunged into the silent sea headfirst and felt the first wave of water enter my head, hitting, splitting the insides of my ears. Then my nose ruptured next, a sharp filing liquid spiking into them like broken stems from cocktail glasses. I was a bleeding balloon down there, an empty bag of fluid and amphetamines, floating amongst the coral, sinking deeper and deeper into doubt. I hope that blood is good for the coral. Then I turned over and under the sea. I danced underneath the ocean with the moonlight shimmering on the surface from above in warping geometric patterns. Maybe they'd make more sense if I stared into them long enough. They will fade quickly, but for now, time stands still. Every breath is senseless recognition. An endless drink. My lungs are now filling with water, my gag reflex, useless as it chokes out water to be replaced with more water, the last trace of air floating helplessly towards the surface in multiple panicked bubbles. I will not fail this time.
#5
^Prose are fine unless the person running the comp says otherwise at the beginning. Especially the purple one because it was a very reasonable length.
#6
Quote by bassbeat77
^Prose are fine unless the person running the comp says otherwise at the beginning. Especially the purple one because it was a very reasonable length.


they should just open up a "lets all write paragraphs" forum
#7
Quote by Gods chariot
they should just open up a "lets all write paragraphs" forum


Purple was great, and not just because it's my favorite color. Don't hate.

But still, blue wins overall for me.
#8
Quote by Gods chariot
they should just open up a "lets all write paragraphs" forum


The only difference in his piece is the structure. If he went through and put a bunch of line breaks half way through every sentence you wouldn't be able to tell the difference structurally between it and the other pieces anyways, though you'd be reading the exact same words... so what's the problem?
#9
Quote by bassbeat77
The only difference in his piece is the structure. If he went through and put a bunch of line breaks half way through every sentence you wouldn't be able to tell the difference structurally between it and the other pieces anyways, though you'd be reading the exact same words... so what's the problem?


i never said there was a problem, i would just do things differently. just how i am

structure can be the difference between a poem and a paragraph anyways. i didn't mention other poems like pitchfork because someone made an effort to polish their poem, so we can read it as the writer thought it.
Last edited by Gods chariot at Aug 21, 2009,