#1
So this is a song I wrote over the last couple days after a very long absence of working with my band. It will eventually be recorded when I have all my gear in one place, and it will have vocals. It's pretty much straight up hard rock with some metal and very slight progressive influences. I like it though, it's a good jam, it clocks in at about 2:45.

As always, please listen and C4C!
Attachments:
metal shite.zip
I'm a person.
#2
i liked it. i know this crit sucks but yeah. it was good, keep it up
Gear
-Ibanez RG321 ( /w D-Sonic)
-Agile AL-3100 (/w Custom + '59)
-Yamaha FG730S
-Crybaby 535Q
-Keeley TS-9
-ISP Decimator
-B-52 AT-212
Quote by Mental-lica
My hats off to you mr. lanzaa and you can put this in your sig

M en
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T o
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L yrics
#3
Misleading genre names are misleading. This is WAY more heavier than hard rock, haha. I usually don't like this kind of music, but I actually really liked how everything flowed together. I love how the dissonant chords sounded, which is rare. In general an awesome song. Drums may need a bit of work, though.

8.5/10.
#4
Quote by Vengynce
Misleading genre names are misleading. This is WAY more heavier than hard rock, haha. I usually don't like this kind of music, but I actually really liked how everything flowed together. I love how the dissonant chords sounded, which is rare. In general an awesome song. Drums may need a bit of work, though.

8.5/10.

Yeah I'm not a drummer, I thought I did pretty well with the drums on this one though. Would you mind telling me of some particularly bad areas?
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#6
I'm fairly impressed. But as said before, this is WAY heavier than hard rock. The influences I'm getting are something like Soilwork meets metalcore? Ii'm not entirely sure, because it doesn't sound much like anything I've ever heard. But that's by no means a bad thing. I thought it was pretty awesome. Had a good flow and was really heavy. You made the dissonance work, that's for sure.

If you feel like critting anything of mine, take your pick:
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/CaRveItiNbass/blog/68482/
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My gear:
Ibanez Artist
ESP ltd Viper 200
Schecter Diamond 8

Amps:
Marhshall MG30 (for sale)
Line 6 Spider III Half Stack (mine forever)
Interested in Melodic Thrash Metal? ALUSTRIUM AND LAST NAIL DRIVEN!
#7
as i listen

First riff is pretty ehavy and like the blastbeat, the 3/4 bar.

dont really like the slower part, comes a bit unexpected but maybe lyrics will solve this problem.The Chord progression is a bit odd but okay.

Transition to the next part and the melodic break is cool, I loke those dissonant high notes.

The Break before the last riff is cool, I dont really know how to this, but I just got a bit irritated because somehow the beat seems to change although there is no real change.

Liked your ending as well.

all in all a cool short and intense song. Not really my kind of music but 8.5/10

in contrast to Vengynce, I liked your drum work

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1183354
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#8
Quote by thorbor
as i listen

First riff is pretty ehavy and like the blastbeat, the 3/4 bar.

dont really like the slower part, comes a bit unexpected but maybe lyrics will solve this problem.The Chord progression is a bit odd but okay.

Transition to the next part and the melodic break is cool, I loke those dissonant high notes.

The Break before the last riff is cool, I dont really know how to this, but I just got a bit irritated because somehow the beat seems to change although there is no real change.

Liked your ending as well.

all in all a cool short and intense song. Not really my kind of music but 8.5/10

in contrast to Vengynce, I liked your drum work

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1183354

It's common for bands to intensify a more melodic riff simply by slowing down the tempo. Between the Buried and Me does it a lot in "Shevenal Cut A Flip", that was the feel I was going for. Sorry you didn't like it , thanks for the crits though guys!
I'm a person.
#9
C'mon, there's like two or three people that owe me crits for this.
I'm a person.
#10
Hey sorry for the lateness haha, but it's good to see you back on here again writin stuff

This song is pretty good for what it is, just a nice little headbanger, nothing too spectacular, but some good solid rif***e. First riff was good, liked the key change you threw in at bar 10, although I think you should've kept the riff going a little longer in the new key, with some harmonization or lead or somethin perhaps, just a thought.

Chorus thing at bar 34 had a nice chord progression, but I think a melodic lead would have done wonders here. The breakdown deal at bar 50 would sound great on real guitar with some nice heavy palm muting, but I think you could've thrown in some blast beats on the drums behind the riff. Return to intro riff at bar 59 was smooth.

I liked tempo change for the new riff at bar 74, it worked well. The breakdown at bar 84 was expected and pretty generic. You should add a little lead in there somewhere just to spice things up a bit. Rest of the song was good, but I feel like you should have added a solo somewhere, like maybe over the progression that started at bar 90. Other than the fact that some of this is pretty generic, it's a cool little song. Keep writin stuff man, I want some more epic metal from you! haha
#11
As I listen.

Normally I hate blast beats, but this actually kind of worked for me. The riff was pretty good too. It didn't really float my boat, but I didn't hate it, so you must have done something right.

The harmonized part in 12-13 was very cool though.

The section at 34 was great. Although I felt like there was something missing. I think it feels like there should be two extra chord shots that descend into the next chord. It sounds to me like they should come on the half beat of 3, and on the 4 on every second bar.

I love the slower version of the opening riff. Very cool. For some reason it reminds me of a Thornley song. easy Comes maybe? Odd.

I don't really like the repeat of the intro there, slowing the riff down was a cool twist, but speeding it up again kind of makes it feel like it's overstayed its welcome.

The part at 74 was also really nice, although the transition didn't really work for me. I think it would work a lot better if you just went straight from the slow riff right into this. That way you wouldn't need to use a big open space and a drum fill to transition in.

I usually hate those stupid little dissonant chords, but in this case I didn't. You didn't over use them like most people tend to, and you actually resolved. Either way, I thought it worked really well.

Anyway, overall I liked it quite a bit, but the transitions definitely felt awkward and the back and forth between fast and slow started to get a little annoying.
#12
Quote by zakatak9389
Hey sorry for the lateness haha, but it's good to see you back on here again writin stuff

This song is pretty good for what it is, just a nice little headbanger, nothing too spectacular, but some good solid rif***e. First riff was good, liked the key change you threw in at bar 10, although I think you should've kept the riff going a little longer in the new key, with some harmonization or lead or somethin perhaps, just a thought.

Chorus thing at bar 34 had a nice chord progression, but I think a melodic lead would have done wonders here. The breakdown deal at bar 50 would sound great on real guitar with some nice heavy palm muting, but I think you could've thrown in some blast beats on the drums behind the riff. Return to intro riff at bar 59 was smooth.

I liked tempo change for the new riff at bar 74, it worked well. The breakdown at bar 84 was expected and pretty generic. You should add a little lead in there somewhere just to spice things up a bit. Rest of the song was good, but I feel like you should have added a solo somewhere, like maybe over the progression that started at bar 90. Other than the fact that some of this is pretty generic, it's a cool little song. Keep writin stuff man, I want some more epic metal from you! haha


Yeah dude, now that I think about it, I will definitely add more leads to this when I record it. Some of the sections sound pretty bare. And I will probably add solo too. But it will have to wait because now I have to new songs that I'm working on lol. Thanks for the crits guys!
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#13
First riff. Pretty sweet. Definitely drug me in. Bar 13, and 21, I love your transitions. I think it'd be sweet if you used the part at 17 in random spots during the next riff. Could make it really fun. It's fine though as is. I love that 33 sounds like it's about to go to something really heavy, but instead goes into what I assume is the chorus. Nothing much to say about the chorus. Just, simple, and I can easily imagine melodies over it. 42 to 49 is crazy fun. 50, nothing to say. Flows just fine. Time change is pretty sweet. 70 to 73, I still love your transitions. Next riff with dissonance, was interesting. You don't usually hear dissonance with such hard-rocky kind of riffs. 90 to 93, I don't really care for. 97, reminds me of when Marilyn Manson was still good. I think 107 is a good place to end it and the last repeat of the main riff is unnecessary, though the very ending is pretty awesome.
#14
i think it was good but i disliked the intro riff but it was cool. otherways it was good but work on making it better
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#15
Wow, a breath of fresh air from listening to some of the other compositions in here.

I like the main riff, it sounds like something I've heard, but thats not a bad thing.
The drums don't mix with it though.

I really didnt have much of a problem except the awkward "REST DUN REST DUN REST REST REST REST" It should've been "REST DUN REST DUN REST Triplet 8ths Decending downto the low open" to give it a quicker feel and give it a burst of life.

Also, the unison bend chords without the unison bends made me cringe. The only part of the song I actually despised because it reminded me of Bring me The Horizon.

Overall, Needs a solo, some drum work and some more dynamics.

7/10

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1188615
#17
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
'Tis called a minor second by the way. And it hasn't been a major part of BMTH's music since there EP years and years ago.

I'm aware. The name escaped me, though.
Yeah, I dont follow that band, but it reminds me of them.