#1
The Pride
by: Paetar
(to be played with "early chicago blues in A")
you know, the old 12-bar blues. the A-H-A-D-A. tananana na na.
The chorus goes normal 12-bar-blues style.

I went out last night
got into a fight
I did my best
but here is the rest:

The guy took me down
the mud it was brown
and red with my blood
'cause my front teeth went out


Ohh man now it hurts
I didn't know what I was doing
And will I find the way
for my pride
to be regained.


It was all for her
my vision was a blur
she was sitting with him
he was working his thing.

Whiskey made me dumb
made me into a chump
So I went there
to fight with that bear


Ohh man now it hurts
I didn't know what I was doing.
And will I find the way
for my pride
to be regained.


I made a scene
but then I have been
dragged through the mud
just to shut up.

Finally he stopped
I couldn't get up
now I confess
man, I was a mess


Ohh now it hurts
I didn't know what I was doing
And will I find the way
for my pride
to be regained.


(sigh) After that session
Man, I learned my lesson
That sometimes silence
is better than violence

Fight's not worth starting
It never solves nothing
Makes you look like an ass
all you do is harass


The people
Now I know what I was doing.
And if you want your pride
make it through the night
without a fight,
without a fight,
without a fight.
Marshall MG15DFX
Line 6 Spider III
Squier Strat Standard
Ibanez RG350EX
Dunlop Jimi Hendrix Signature Wah
#3
Very blunt. It didn't really paint much of a picture in my head, but then again it is song lyrics, so they can't really be read like poetry. I agree with above that the rhyming was very forced, and it makes it sound cheesy. Also with the rhyming, the rhyme scheme is all f'ed up. You will be going along fine, and then you will throw in some line in the end that just doesn't fit the pattern at all. It fit the genre very well, I could definitely see this as a blues song.

If you don't mind, there's a link in my sig.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#4
Tnx for the info and criticism. Yea, I put a lot of effort into rhyming, perhaps too much. It just seemed right. Anyways, this is my first song so there will be more coming.

@ Ganoosh: I've checked out Crimson Face Paint And Little Trembling Boxes. It's a great song. Keep it up .
Marshall MG15DFX
Line 6 Spider III
Squier Strat Standard
Ibanez RG350EX
Dunlop Jimi Hendrix Signature Wah