#1
Hi, my name is David. Me and my wife just got a divorce and this is just the first draft of the song, gonna read it over a few times and see what I can improve. Any comments on how the song sounds or anything?

(verse)

As we lie awake at night,
We live so far away
I know we're both thinken
Back to our wedding day

We were both in love
but we had two different intentions.
She needed someone to hold her,
We both needed someone to love.

(chorus)
And I threw it all away,
I took the only love that I had
And made her go astray,
There's just an empty space...
Something that you took from me
And I can't describe the pain
No matter how much I try...


The pain of a broken heart....(chorus ends, trails off slowly to next verse)

(verse)
Did somethen I say come out wrong?
I'd like to say I'm sorry,
But I know that words can't change
The things I did to you.

(picks up tempo)
I know we both were foolish
We tried to find some trust
But as we kept on slowly falling apart
Our lives kep turning to dust.

(chorus, same as first time, a little more note of sadness in it this time, almost regret, as it were)


(verse)
Now we both have grown much older
As the days have turned into years.'
Though I know my own have long since dried,
I still can see her tears.

(picks up tempo as in last verse)
I see the pain inside her eyes
That look of hatred and fear
I never wanna see that look again
Someone take away her tears!!!(held out note that makes you get that feeling inside, the one where blood rushes to your face and you feel all tingly and stuff, hehe)

(Guitar Solo, very powerful, yet at the same time, very dramatic and sorrowful, leads into last chorus)

(chorus, altered as follows)
And I threw it all away
I took the only love I had
And made her go astray

And I cant describe the pain
No matter how much I try
But I really can't explain
With all these tears in my eyes
The pain...of...her broken heart(slow down this last line and finish softly.)


that's the song, I think the first verse could use some touching up, but other then that, I'm not certain, the title might need some changing, too, some feedback would be much appreciated. thanks in advance