Page 1 of 2
#2
get a girlfriend....or boyfriend, whatever.
ALL OF MY CRAP SONGS/IDEAS

Quote by God
LOLjk guise, im not real.


Quote by JDbbx
I don't want to go into detail but it involves my girlfriend, a condom and 10 seconds.

If anyone sigs that I shall be most irritated
#5
"Positive Steps In Beating Off
Masturbation Desires"

I see what they did there.

Edit: I see I've been beaten to it.
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#6
This is so very funny. XD
<<My lyric. Critique, please?

You can't change the world but you can make a dent.
#8
It's good for you don't stop. I tried to go a week a while ago and got 5 days into it then decided it was pointless
#9
This can even lead to "mutual masturbation" for which you will surely go to hell! And I'm talking about mutual masturbation with the opposite sex. If you practice it with the same sex, you have even bigger problems than just masturbating. Especially if you like it.


Someone should send this to Union Jake.
#10
< This can even lead to "mutual masturbation" for which you will surely go to hell! >
Oh noez D:


Edit: Damn ^
#13
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER use mayonnaise on your sandwich.


Best line in that!
I know now what I knew then, but I didn't know then what I know now
#15
Why would I stop? =/
- Ibanez RG7321 *Dimarzio D Activators*
- Jackson Dk 2 Dinky Transparent Red
- ENGL Powerball
- ENGL E412 SS
- Line 6 Pod Studio GX
- Ibanez TS9
- Boss NS2
#17
wait... why would you masturbate with the oppotiste sex? why wouldn't you just do it
Quote by patriotplayer90
Lolz that guy is a noob.

Egnater
Leave it on the press, Depress Depress Taboot Taboot.
#18
Quote by kashuul
I just did that


Do you feel like masterbaiting now?
I know now what I knew then, but I didn't know then what I know now
#22
Quote by IHATECHILDREN
No way this is real.

But if it is...


Haven't seen you in a while!

i do not need to stop
#23
Men - if you constantly wake up with an erection, you may have to take evasive action. The erection may be caused by the need to urinate. You can overcome this problem by inserting a small plastic tube into your penis and up into your bladder before going to bed at night. The air line from your fish tank will do fine.




I really hope this is a joke.
#24
NEVER touch the private parts of your body except when going to the toilet or when washing them! Your genitals are dirty, nasty, evil, filthy parts of your body.


I AM NEVER TOUCHING MY PRIVATE PARTS AGAIN!
We sailed through endless skies...

Quote by King Twili

if someone sigs this i will be fairly displeased.


Lady Gaga has a penis! >>EVIDENCE<<

i¯i▀▀▀i¯i‾°δ‾‾Pך]█████████████████████████
#26
Your life must be pathetic if you can't stop. Get a gf or bf.
Quote by Tyler Durden
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

Erowid
#27
Quote by Tigas Jot
Meh i find this >>http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts more effective


I liked it the first 300 times it was posted
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
#28
Quote by Zigler9
Do you feel like masterbaiting now?


Yes and no. I don't feel like it, but my hand is down my pants.
#30
503 Server Error :/

looked funny as well.
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#31
tape your hands shut when you usually want to
'09er
Quote by aaciseric

I hate you too much to be able to answer this thread properly. You misleading swine.

Quote by HeavyReverb

you dont win. f^cking 09er


Quote by emad
Morello Wannabe
Post back and I'll temporary ban you.
#33

__.-~~~~-.|___|___|__
_/********\_|___|___|
|*/**\**/**`~~~~~-.__
||****|**0*********@_
||****|***.********|_
\|****|***\*******/__
_\****/**/`~~~~~~`|__
_('--'""`)__|___|___|
Quote by Jesus
LedDaveZeppelin, You are so awesome.
#34
fapping is good for the soul!
Mah gear :p

Guitars:
Ibanez RG350DX
BC rich NJ neck thru series warlock
customized epi les paul

Amps:
blackstar ht-5 combo
VOX VT-100

Pedals:
bad dog phaser


"Remember your a WOMBLE!!!"
Quote by Morrie2995
dude you just became my hero. Nice
#35
Tape pictures of fat ugly chicks (or guys, that would probably be more effective) around your bathroom, then see if you feel like jacking it.
.

Disclaimer: By reading the above post, you agree that El Hilliaro is legally and morally free from any responsiblity should any harm be incurred by said post.


Also, you agree that I'm awesome and own all your stuff now.
#36
# Men - if you constantly wake up with an erection, you may have to take evasive action. The erection may be caused by the need to urinate. You can overcome this problem by inserting a small plastic tube into your penis and up into your bladder before going to bed at night.

The air line from your fish tank will do fine.

Run the open end of the tube into a plastic bag and secure the bag firmly with a rubber band. Your urine will run straight through from your bladder to the plastic bag. No need to urinate! No erection!

Of course you may end up with a nasty infection in your urethra and bladder from a dirty plastic tube but don't worry. An infected urethra and bladder is very painful and the pain will also help discourage an erection.

A WORD OF CAUTION! Be very discreet when inserting the tube into yourself. If your little brother or sister walks into your room when your shoving the tube up your penis, into your bladder, it will be very difficult to explain to them exactly what you're doing.

Be sure to put the tube back into the fish tank each morning so the fish won't die from lack of oxygen. Good thing those fish don't know where that tube was the night before.

OUCH! Not gonna do that.
#37
No more hot chicks thread for me funny reading




A small lulstack for the guy writing that funny article.
#38
Quote by tom1thomas1
It's good for you don't stop. I tried to go a week a while ago and got 5 days into it then decided it was pointless

Maybe physically, but not mentally. It drains you of your drive completely and you loose all of your sexual aggression.

Quote by RockGuitar92
Your life must be pathetic if you can't stop. Get a gf or bf.

And it's pretty obvious from this statement that you don't have a gf because you would realize that just because you get a gf, doesn't mean you will instantly stop. In fact, you will probably do it just as much as you did before.
#39
And if you don't have a cold 365 days a year, how will you explain the constant pile of dirty tissues in the wastebasket and on the floor?


i lol'd
My Deviantart

Great Minds Think Alike
Quote by Son.Of.TheViper
You sigged me, AND had an idea the same as mine!
I like you.

About my Lady Gaga/Pokemon parody
Quote by Mike50227
XD not bad

Quote by ExOblivione
You're my hero.

Quote by myevilside
I must say, i love it!
#40
this is def fake...

but if anyone here wants to try the fish tube thing and let us know about it go ahead...
Quote by Duff_McGee
Everyone knows that the day the Metallica ends, the world ends.
Page 1 of 2