#1
Just a little melodic death metal song. The song is exactly what the title says.. Demented. Enjoy and please crit/comment!


Verse 1 -

Solitairy game of chance,
confined to my thoughts,
My tampered dreams being slain

The warmness you placed,
inside of me,
a time bomb ready to explode

Like a machine to my memory,
they take over my brain,
and I sit here carving my body

But inside I'm screaming,
crowing for death,
As the thoughts replenish my hate

Bridge -

The more that I fight it,
the angrier I grow,
my blood begins to boil

Trapped until death,
they won't let me go,
the monsters won't go until I'm dead

Verse 2 -

With no control,
but feeling remorse,
Still I feel this vicious pain

Frozen in time,
are my thoughts,
to these feelings I am a slave

Chorus -

This my medicine
This is my therapy
Dementia my prescription
My last deed is done
but still they are here
it's time to pull the plug
The bullet looks
so undeniably fun
My bowels begin to churn
My body runs hot
Hair stands on end
eyes roll back into my head

Screaming and crying
While dreaming of dying
The anger is killing me
And my sanity is fading

Verse 3 -

I leap to my feet,
and pull the hammer,
My one way ticket to freedom

My thoughts start fading,
My dreams long gone,
I roar as the trigger is pulled

The bullet sinks deeply,
Into my flesh,
followed by the thunderous crack

The stomach explodes,
My lips form a smile,
and blood floods like a river from the wound

NOW SET ME FREE!!
"We programmed in death...A thousand needles lie here to inject their lies."
Last edited by Killswitch666 at Aug 17, 2009,
#2
i like.

but i think you could go with more verses, it seems kind of short with only 3.


also, in classical music technicality, the bridge is in the middle of the song. as it is usually with every song written since then. since it seems to be written the same way your verses are, why not switch the bridge and the chorus, or just use the bridge as another verse.

one last thing- repeat the chorus at some point, because it isn't really a chorus unless it's repeated at least once . . .
Quote by Steve46
thanks alot ice condition!! your the breast!


The best bosom in all of UG.