#1
I watch my image twist as I gaze on my reflection,
ripples in a past all but pristine.
I stand with shaking fist at the mirror of introspection,
fractures in the glass of shattered dreams...

...I saw your spirit's vessel broken,
I watched eyes closed to nere reopen.
No tear nor tithe nor promise spoken
shakes sleep from those whom death has stolen.
Your silent slumber can't be lifted.
To a place of peace you've drifted.
Terror, shook with fear I'm calling.
Screams upon deaf ears are falling.
From its temporal home your spirit leaves,
as angels sing and yet I grieve.
Confusion, heartbreak, disbelief
I loved you so how could you leave?
Now, as the lifeless rose I lay
dead yet pretty on your grave,
an empty shell, I'm dead inside,
My heart and soul with you have died.
#2
Thanks so much for the crit on mine! I really liked this peice. The flow was really nice, so no problems there. I particularly liked the line about the rose. "Dead yet pretty on your grave" was awesome. That was the one line that really stood out to me. Overall no real complaints. It was a very enjoyable read.

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"Some even claim that I'm a terror, a dictator and they're right." - Lou Reed


AK-ROWDY