#1
please give critique

Listen to this, to this song
And think about what went wrong
I use to be like you
I use to feel the pain
But now all I think is
Give me a drink
Give me a hit
Give me something to make me forget

Chorus
I need to stop but its getting hard
Feels like I can't live without it
Vices are useless when you lost your core
As it posions my body my soul lies dead
Give me help! Nothing else
Detox the dead! Detox lost hope! (X2)

But drinking won't solve my problems
And the numbness won't last forever
Soon I'll feel every sting and every hurt
The sun brings hopelessness back
And I say I'm shooting for the stars
But getting high won't keep me up forever

Chorus

Why do I hurt myself
Kiss the rim and inject myself
the night won't hold my secrets
I wanna be happy
I wanna forget
All those sober worries
What's my other option?

Chorus
#2
write from experience
wanting to go edge is enough, you dont have to throw in hard drugs to make it seem more intense. it just comes off as impersonal. i liked the 'shoot for the stars' line
in related news- listen to more minor thread, do more grammar and spell check. you probably wont get any crits if you dont give any, so post a little more in S & L!


cheers
~b