#1
I'm a guy going into 10th grade, and I'm tired of being the "shy kid" or the kid that is usually alone. I have friends, but not close friends I can tell anything to. I don't get invited to many places, and don't go to any dances(i cant dance anyway).I haven't had a girlfriend. I am NOT going to do stupid things to get accepted or do drugs to fit in. So how do I overcome my shyness without becoming a loudmouth/person desperate for attention or a person i am not? I just want to make a change for the better.

EDIT: All i do with myself is play a lot of guitar(jam with friends once in a while), snowboard(with friends) and get really good grades but im not a nerd

Oh and The biggest confidence boost i ever had this year was when i played my schools talent show and i received a really good response.
Last edited by metallicaM.O.P. at Aug 21, 2009,
#2
You are gonna die alone.
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#6
You just need to do something in your life that requires the greatest act of bravery

Then you won't be afraid to talk to people.

Ever since I signed up for the Navy, I've felt like a new man. Not afraid of anything.
#7
Join a club that does drugs.

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*fixed*
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Last edited by Gyroscope at Aug 21, 2009,
#10
pound monsters before and during school
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#11
Just introduce yourself to people, start to contribute to discussions more. You just need a confidence boost, man. The shyness will fade away gradually.

Maybe get a job in a customer-facing environment, I found that really helps.
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#12
Talk to people on the first day.
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#13
just try to be more outgoing. GO to dances even if you don't dance. a lotta pepole hang out, and a girl might even teach ya :P also don't be afried to speak up and stuff. just motivate yourself somehow
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#14
Quote by Randomnossity
Join some clubs?


This.

Basically do a lot of ****; if you're experienced something, it becomes easy to talk about. People talk about drugs and getting high/drunk etc because they're well acquainted with it. Since you don't want to do that, start doing loads of other ****.
#15
Just be more social, you know talk to everyone even if they seem like they don't want to talk to you. Be yourself and be proud of it. All it takes is a good attitude and yes don't do stupid things just to be accepted cuz at the end of the day those people aren't worth being friends with
#16
I'm sorry to say but the only thing that can help you now is drugs or music.

Drugs will give you more immediate results.

Try and get a band together, assuming you play a instrument...
#17
i used to be like that. u dont have to be a blabbermouth or do DRUGS... just dont be afraid to talk more if the opportunity comes
#19
Getting a job that requires you to talk to people is a step in the right direction. Places like a grocery store, fast food joint, whatever. I work in a grocery store myself, and it really helped me break out of that shyness a bit. I've been invited to more places, made new friends (both at work and school), and even got a girlfriend. It's not the end all be all, but it definitely helps.
#21
Join your theater's set crew. You get to hang out with other slightly awkward people and learn basic building stuff. Best decision of my life.
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#22
here's a popular way to get attention at school.
Go to school with a gun and shoot everyone that's in your way.
They will notice you!
#23
Smoke some weed.
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#24
I suffer from chronic shyness too, it's why I lurk on the pit all day.

Okay, here we go:

Just chat with people. just be like, 'hey, what's up?'

If you suck at making jokes, don't make any. I found this the hard way.

Try not to look retarded.

start hanging out with girls, really helps boost confidence.

And don't dress gay. Unless your gay.
#25
Okay, I'll give an intelligent response.

I was once this kid.

You are an introspective personality type--you are a thinker, an observer. You probably are rather artistic and wander off into long chains of thought in class. You probably play guitar because mystical forces that you were born with compelled you to do so. This all seems kind of awkward, and you feel you are alone.

You are definitely not alone, and I'm willing to bet that many, possibly half, of the users on UG are just like you. You simply need to break the barrier that you have currently constructed around yourself. You perceive yourself as this awkward kid who can't talk to girls or get in with a certain group of boys you consider to be your peers. This is all normal for your age.

Here's the best thing: Meet new people, and present yourself not as the person you perceive yourself as, but rather as the person within, your unconscious, ever-thinking mind. Set yourself up to come in contact with a girl who knows nearly nothing about you, and do or say anything you feel compelled to, within reason. Assume she has no idea how you feel about yourself. Act casually friendly, outgoing, fearless. If she likes you, she'll keep talking to you. If you feel the inner compulsion to offer her a ride home from school in your sports car, ask her "You need a ride home from school?" If you are planning to go see a movie on a given weekend, and have no one to go with, ask her, "I was gonna go see ___ this weekend, you wanna come?" If you get her that far along, then maybe ask her if she's hungry. The longer she spends time with you, the more you are a part of her immediate existence. The more time she spends with you, the more she'll wonder about the you she doesn't know, which you must only deliver to her in the form of the present--at least for quite some time. Before you know it, this mysterious fun-loving guy act will have you able to call yourself some girl's boyfriend.

Now, for the friends part. Guys are dicks in high school, plain and simple. If you don't play sports, but you play guitar or video games or whatever, you are the minority--yet you have the mysterious thing going for you with the ladies--but there are guys out there just like you. Hell, even the jocks that play football go home to Xboxes at night for an occasional round or two of Halo; they will never, however, admit this. You need to earn guys' respect.

You have a girlfriend, maybe she's good-looking or whatever, the jocks are gonna notice that it's strange some hottie chose the dorky guitar-playing kid over the quarterback. They, like a girl, are going to become interested in you. What has this kid been doing the past few years? Is he even good at guitar? More so, you will actually inspire the minority group of guys just like you who feel the need to surpress their personalities to come out of their shells a bit. You have done a great deed to them, showing them that not every guy who wishes to be seen as prizeable by females has to play football and live at the gym or whatever.

In addition to this respect--the dreaded phenomenon of high school popularity--there is the added element of attraction in females and generating that. In addition to the mystique I spoke of, after you have achieved that you must also create and maintain prizeability in the eyes of girls at school. They have to see something about you that they would want--this can be literally anything...the quality of girl depends on this variable to a great degree. For example, shallow girls will want you for your bad boyishness and good looks, etc. The rich, status-valuing girls will love your Camaro, and so forth. Do not mistake this prizeability for anything else, ever. High school girls, 98% of them, are NOT looking for love. They think they are, but they don't know what they want. Whatever they say they want is likely the complete opposite.

Try this process, and good luck my young friend.
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And it always, at the end, came round to the same place again."

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#26
you could post a thread in the pit, or join some clubs, or smoke pot or just talk to people. Basically every time your shyness kicks in, just remind yourself that its better to go through some awkwardness then be a loner
#27
Quote by drewfromutah
Join a band. Become the lead singer and guitar player. You'll be over your shyness after you see the 2 mile long line of 17 year old slores who want to S your D.

Quote by drewfromutah
after you see the 2 mile long line of 17 year old slores who want to S your D.

Quote by drewfromutah
2 mile long line of 17 year old slores

Quote by drewfromutah
17 year old slores

Quote by drewfromutah
slores

#28
Walk into school in the nude, everyone will want you then.
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#29
Make yourself talk to people. It's all too easy to be the guy who stands around, while his friends talk to the new people. It's your friends who these people will remember. You have to notice when you're not really interacting with them, and try to stop it. You don't have to be really loud or anything, just make sure you feature in the conversation. Introducing yourself to people helps. Once the hurdle of actually starting to talk to someone is over, it does become easier.

I've started trying not to be as quiet around new people, but it can be difficult, especially when you're the only one who doesn't know them. But forcing yourself out of the comfort zone is necessary, and it gets easier to do over time.
#30
there are social anxiety website that will actually help you, just google it.

not a smart move coming to the pit. oh, and have you fapped to ease the pain?
"take your form
be my fear, be my hope
be the indication
if i'm right or wrong

take your most dreadful form
and let it be known"
he provided assurance
#31
Quote by AJKane
Okay, I'll give an intelligent response.

I was once this kid.

You are an introspective personality type--you are a thinker, an observer. You probably are rather artistic and wander off into long chains of thought in class. You probably play guitar because mystical forces that you were born with compelled you to do so. This all seems kind of awkward, and you feel you are alone.

You are definitely not alone, and I'm willing to bet that many, possibly half, of the users on UG are just like you. You simply need to break the barrier that you have currently constructed around yourself. You perceive yourself as this awkward kid who can't talk to girls or get in with a certain group of boys you consider to be your peers. This is all normal for your age.

Here's the best thing: Meet new people, and present yourself not as the person you perceive yourself as, but rather as the person within, your unconscious, ever-thinking mind. Set yourself up to come in contact with a girl who knows nearly nothing about you, and do or say anything you feel compelled to, within reason. Assume she has no idea how you feel about yourself. Act casually friendly, outgoing, fearless. If she likes you, she'll keep talking to you. If you feel the inner compulsion to offer her a ride home from school in your sports car, ask her "You need a ride home from school?" If you are planning to go see a movie on a given weekend, and have no one to go with, ask her, "I was gonna go see ___ this weekend, you wanna come?" If you get her that far along, then maybe ask her if she's hungry. The longer she spends time with you, the more you are a part of her immediate existence. The more time she spends with you, the more she'll wonder about the you she doesn't know, which you must only deliver to her in the form of the present--at least for quite some time. Before you know it, this mysterious fun-loving guy act will have you able to call yourself some girl's boyfriend.

Now, for the friends part. Guys are dicks in high school, plain and simple. If you don't play sports, but you play guitar or video games or whatever, you are the minority--yet you have the mysterious thing going for you with the ladies--but there are guys out there just like you. Hell, even the jocks that play football go home to Xboxes at night for an occasional round or two of Halo; they will never, however, admit this. You need to earn guys' respect.

You have a girlfriend, maybe she's good-looking or whatever, the jocks are gonna notice that it's strange some hottie chose the dorky guitar-playing kid over the quarterback. They, like a girl, are going to become interested in you. What has this kid been doing the past few years? Is he even good at guitar? More so, you will actually inspire the minority group of guys just like you who feel the need to surpress their personalities to come out of their shells a bit. You have done a great deed to them, showing them that not every guy who wishes to be seen as prizeable by females has to play football and live at the gym or whatever.

In addition to this respect--the dreaded phenomenon of high school popularity--there is the added element of attraction in females and generating that. In addition to the mystique I spoke of, after you have achieved that you must also create and maintain prizeability in the eyes of girls at school. They have to see something about you that they would want--this can be literally anything...the quality of girl depends on this variable to a great degree. For example, shallow girls will want you for your bad boyishness and good looks, etc. The rich, status-valuing girls will love your Camaro, and so forth. Do not mistake this prizeability for anything else, ever. High school girls, 98% of them, are NOT looking for love. They think they are, but they don't know what they want. Whatever they say they want is likely the complete opposite.

Try this process, and good luck my young friend.


/thread
#32
Quote by AJKane
Okay, I'll give an intelligent response.

I was once this kid.

You are an introspective personality type--you are a thinker, an observer. You probably are rather artistic and wander off into long chains of thought in class. You probably play guitar because mystical forces that you were born with compelled you to do so. This all seems kind of awkward, and you feel you are alone.

You are definitely not alone, and I'm willing to bet that many, possibly half, of the users on UG are just like you. You simply need to break the barrier that you have currently constructed around yourself. You perceive yourself as this awkward kid who can't talk to girls or get in with a certain group of boys you consider to be your peers. This is all normal for your age.

Here's the best thing: Meet new people, and present yourself not as the person you perceive yourself as, but rather as the person within, your unconscious, ever-thinking mind. Set yourself up to come in contact with a girl who knows nearly nothing about you, and do or say anything you feel compelled to, within reason. Assume she has no idea how you feel about yourself. Act casually friendly, outgoing, fearless. If she likes you, she'll keep talking to you. If you feel the inner compulsion to offer her a ride home from school in your sports car, ask her "You need a ride home from school?" If you are planning to go see a movie on a given weekend, and have no one to go with, ask her, "I was gonna go see ___ this weekend, you wanna come?" If you get her that far along, then maybe ask her if she's hungry. The longer she spends time with you, the more you are a part of her immediate existence. The more time she spends with you, the more she'll wonder about the you she doesn't know, which you must only deliver to her in the form of the present--at least for quite some time. Before you know it, this mysterious fun-loving guy act will have you able to call yourself some girl's boyfriend.

Now, for the friends part. Guys are dicks in high school, plain and simple. If you don't play sports, but you play guitar or video games or whatever, you are the minority--yet you have the mysterious thing going for you with the ladies--but there are guys out there just like you. Hell, even the jocks that play football go home to Xboxes at night for an occasional round or two of Halo; they will never, however, admit this. You need to earn guys' respect.

You have a girlfriend, maybe she's good-looking or whatever, the jocks are gonna notice that it's strange some hottie chose the dorky guitar-playing kid over the quarterback. They, like a girl, are going to become interested in you. What has this kid been doing the past few years? Is he even good at guitar? More so, you will actually inspire the minority group of guys just like you who feel the need to surpress their personalities to come out of their shells a bit. You have done a great deed to them, showing them that not every guy who wishes to be seen as prizeable by females has to play football and live at the gym or whatever.

In addition to this respect--the dreaded phenomenon of high school popularity--there is the added element of attraction in females and generating that. In addition to the mystique I spoke of, after you have achieved that you must also create and maintain prizeability in the eyes of girls at school. They have to see something about you that they would want--this can be literally anything...the quality of girl depends on this variable to a great degree. For example, shallow girls will want you for your bad boyishness and good looks, etc. The rich, status-valuing girls will love your Camaro, and so forth. Do not mistake this prizeability for anything else, ever. High school girls, 98% of them, are NOT looking for love. They think they are, but they don't know what they want. Whatever they say they want is likely the complete opposite.

Try this process, and good luck my young friend.


That's some deep **** bro
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#33
Just talk to people. I forced myself to do it and it made things easier. I'm still shy though. **** getting invited to places, all you need is to hang out with your friends. Parties are usually ****ty. Find a girl you like and ask her out on a date, it seems hard but just start the sentence, and it becomes easier to finish it.

Don't find one at a party. Usually they're all sluts and I doubt that's the kind of girlfriend you'd want. Unless you want some ez sex hellz yeh, but you don't seem like that type. You can still have fun in high school without hanging out with all the drug abusers/party/slut ****s. All you need is your friends.

I was never particularly fond of high school.
#34
Quote by profmcnasty
i used to be like that. u dont have to be a blabbermouth or do DRUGS... just dont be afraid to talk more if the opportunity comes


I'm not going to lie, casually saying whatever I want to anybody is much easier on most drugs. (But I'm not joking.)
#35
Quote by AJKane
Okay, I'll give an intelligent response.

I was once this kid.

Wall of text


Try this process, and good luck my young friend.

are you Dr. Phil?
#36
Quote by Bullet-Rule
Just introduce yourself to people, start to contribute to discussions more. You just need a confidence boost, man. The shyness will fade away gradually.

Maybe get a job in a customer-facing environment, I found that really helps.
Shyness doesn't just fade away. It's a personality trait that you can learn to work with. You are right about working with people though, it really does help make it easier.


To TS:

I'm shy. Very shy. But I'm also boisterous, and friendly. I've never had problems with making friends because of this. All I can say is step out of your comfort zone. You don't have to be someone else, but if you want to make more friends, then you are going to have to talk. You'll probably always feel shy, but you can present a confident face anyhow. I have to do this every day for work. I never quite shake that shy feeling, but it gets easier to overcome every time you do something you normally wouldn't want to.

And if you are worried about being rejected by a girl, just trust me in that it's far less painful to ask and be rejected, than to beat yourself up over never asking. I know that sounds like bull**** advice, and it may not help much, but it's true.

Good luck, bro.