#1
"You Put The End In Friend"

If you decide to die tonight
Commit your suicide
Cause I don’t care what you do
When you’re not by my side
You may not get to heaven
You may just go to hell
Wherever death may take you
I hope you’re doing well

Maybe I shouldn’t care
Because you put me through hell
I wonder if you cared
If you did I couldn’t tell

If you decide you want to live
You wont escape yourself
The final countdown starts tonight
You cant escape this hell
You may not get to water
You may just burn right here
Wherever sleazing takes you
I hope you disappear

Maybe I shouldn’t care
Because you put me through hell
I wondered if you cared
If you did I couldn’t tell

I can see
Through your eyes
They tell me
All of your lies

You deserve
What you get
You’ve got some nerve
Don’t worry I wont forget…
#2
this really about someone?
Gear:

Gibson Les Paul Vintage Mahogany

Epiphone Les Paul Goldtop with Seymour Duncan Alnico II's

Seagull 25th anniversary Mahogany Edition

Crate GT65

Digitech Metal Master

Dunlop Original Crybaby Wah
#4
Hmm... melodic metal ballad?
I've gotten a lot of LOLs in my time but I choose not to sig them to not look like a pretentious douchebag





#5
I think it's fine except for the excess use of the word 'hell'.
Username is from years ago, just saying
#6
yea i know, i realized that after it was done, i just decided i would leave it
#7
this is deep. nice song.
Gear:

Gibson Les Paul Vintage Mahogany

Epiphone Les Paul Goldtop with Seymour Duncan Alnico II's

Seagull 25th anniversary Mahogany Edition

Crate GT65

Digitech Metal Master

Dunlop Original Crybaby Wah
#8
Quote by MJS420WD

I can see
Through your eyes
They tell me
All of your lies



I liked everything but this particular stanza. From the rest of the song, I'm going to assume it's sung in a slow, ballad-ish type of way. In that case, I think that if you emitted the "of", it would flow quite a bit better. If the song is meant to be up-beat or fast, I think that stanza just doesn't work very well.

Anyways, great song! I'd love to hear a recording when (or if) you put music to it.
Gear:

St. Blues Bluesmaster IV
Vox AC4- ah-mazing lil amp
Roland Micro Cube- 1st amp... pretty crappy
a whole lotta picks

Am I the only one who has WON
THE GAME?

#10
Some of it could be a bit cliched (e.g., the whole "hell" and "lies" bits), but it has potential to work very well with the music, depending on how the final song sounds. As long as you don't turn it into a Story Of The Year-style emo "oh, I'm bleeding my heart out for you" kind of piece, it could really be quite effective and highly emotional. Well done!
#11
thank u sir, and, im hoping the final cut doesnt sound emo, but, if it does, w/e, its real so idc
#12
i really like it, deep meaning good rhythm. the only complaint would be, as someone mentioned the over use of hell but its gerat dude and that can be fixed rather easily id think and if you want to leave it go for it it will probably sound different when sung as opposed to read the repeats mite not sound as obvious
#13
The final countdown

DUN-D-D DUN DUN


DUN-D-D DUN DUN DUN
Better than Jesus, Megatron and T-Rex combined.

-
(. Y .)(. Y .)
- ) . ( - ) . (
- \ v / - \ v /


This ^ is why I'm right.