#1
This is the first song Ive ever finished, Its called B/Rad Habit. (Its actually supposed to look more like a crossed out B with an R Scribbled in) I feel pretty confident that this is a good song, please critique.

Spoken Intro: (Authoritative Voice) "Lets see... Three Counts of Assault and Battery, four counts of destruction of property, 2 counts of vandalism, and... 1 count of Assault with intent to kill."
(Other) "That it?"
(First Voice) "And Speeding... clocked this punk at 129"
(Other) We got 'im. He's in deep shit now.

Sung:
Hey man you know, Im not a nice guy.
Two White Knuckle fists gonna explain to you why.
You're a spoiled little punk.
But Im no slam dunk.
I'll put you on your ass
And then my foot'll hit the gas.

Its 'cuz I got a bad habit.
Of making people pay.
You can always call me faggot.
When Im far away.

I aint never gone to no fancy private school.
So how the hell do I know that they're all rich fools?
Mommy and Daddy think you're better than us.
Fact is, you all need help gettin hit by a bus.

Oh yes I got a rad Habit.
Of blowing shit away.
You can always call me faggot.
While you're running away.

Aint you ever heard of an educated fool?
In my world there aint no view and no backyard with a pool.
Just a used Firebird.
I drive without a word.
But if you got problems
Im the one that can solve em.

Turns out I got a Bad Habit.
Of making people pay.
I got a rad habit.
And Im real pissed today.

Punk on the street's got a problem with my girl.
I think Its time I take this kid for a little whirl.
Ive been drinking a ton.
Maybe thats why its so much fun
To punch you in your teeth
and watch you fall beneath me.

Habit. Habit.
Oh yeah I got a bad habit.
Habit. Habit.
Fuck Yeah I got a rad habit.
Habit. Habit. Hell Yeah.
Habit. Habit. Hell Yeah.

You like it? You hate it?
Have I hit the bigtime yet?
Better, Faster, Stronger

Kansas City Chiefs

Kansas State Wildcats
Quote by airbrendie
Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

Last edited by VanTheKraut at Aug 22, 2009,
#2
Its not bad. I'm betting its a rap song? I think that its a bit to dramatic, You could come up with better lines that don't sound so "Hardcore", and try not to rhyme ever line.
Also Swearing is a personal turn-off in a song but some people like it.
7/10
Last edited by Delta_Mike at Aug 22, 2009,