#1
song.


The train edged swiftly forward,
the trees bent as it passed
and the grass
was greener in our eyes -
oh oh my,
we were on our way to die.

Along the rugged shore,
we coasted on the tracks
and the sharks
were waiting for the bell -
oh oh well
we were on our way to hell.

and as we looked up, up high to the sky
we were told that it was just the right time to die
and the pleats and the creases of life that we miss
they didn’t exists, yet we couldn’t resist one more try,
just to try…

The sea came for its claim,
it rocked us as we slept
and it wept
in our dreams the tears descend ,
oh oh man,
on our death defying end.

and as we looked up, up high to the sky
with our eyes tightly shut and our vacant wide smiles
and the pleats and the creases of life that we missed
they didn’t exists and we didn’t resist one more try,
the last try…



This is not a pipe
#2
Right from the first few lines, I heard this in my head like an old Johnny Cash song. This moves along comfortably, with a nice feel of thyme and rhythm. The only thing that i felt was a bit strange was "death defying end". Could just be my small mind, but if you are ending, you can't do it death defying-ly. Cause, you're dying, not defying dying. Being picky though, of course. You should record it, I'd love to hear it.
#3
i like it bro, how are you trying ot put into a piece though, like screamo, ect
personally i think if you sung/spoke half of it.. do it like the end by the doors, if ya never heard it look it up

check mine out"?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1187769
Gonna make the mountains be my home....

"A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through"-Robert Hunter