#2
Haha, man your songs are always so awesome.

Right from the start this is amazing. Wonderful melody. Although the harmonies are a little...odd sounding. Maybe after listening to it more than once i'll like it.
Preverse is pretty generic metalcore sounding. I like the notes, but could use a more unique rhythm behind it.
Bridge was pretty akward and i didn't care for the 5/4 bar.
The chorus is great IMO. It's unique and original sounding.
The afterchorus bit was good, but the flow is a little off. I don't think you nailed the rhythms in GP quite right. Did you mean for it to be: Dotted Eighth - Dotted Eighth - Q-E-Q?
The clean bit was good. Didn't really get me, but the 6/4 and 7/4 bars added a cool flavor.
I liked when the distorted guitars came in and played the same theme.
Redemption lead is great. Nothing wrong there.
Drums sound great here. Loving the kicks.
Not loving 221
Good outro

Overall it was a good song. Nothing really stuck out as 'bad'. The one thing I would suggest is making the bass a little more exciting. It's pretty obvious you rushed through the bass part without really caring.
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#3
thanks stewie...it means alot comin from you..especially considering the fact that everything you write is friggin brilliant...anyway...yea you were right about the rhythms, i just couldnt tab it out right, but i fixed it with your suggestion....give me a link an i'll crit one of your's...
Last edited by dalcow24 at Aug 22, 2009,
#4
First off, the intro was awesome. Quite original-sounding. I suppose this is mathcore? I dunno, I'm not familiar with the style.

Anyway, I like it. I really liked the chorus area.

Wait, this sounds like Protest the Hero! Are they an influence? I just thought of it now.

Otherwise, I can't say much. It sounds cool.

I just got to the clean part. This is probably my favorite part up to now.

Wait, never mind, the redemption part is pretty awesome too.

Overall, I give it an 8.5/10. I'm very generous because I'm easy to satisfy.

Thanks for the crit on my ballad!
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#5
Quote by dalcow24
thanks stewie...it means alot comin from you..especially considering the fact that everything you write is friggin brilliant...anyway...yea you were right about the rhythms, i just couldnt tab it out right, but i fixed it with your suggestion....give me a link an i'll crit one of your's...



I don't have anything recent in here, so I won't ask for a return crit. Got 2 songs coming up though. 1 should be done in a few days.
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#6
Finally! A progressive song that's not structured on blast beats :P


First of all, nice intro. I particularly like the drums.

Solid rif***e after that. i REALLY enjoy your time signatures. it flows so well for all the irregularity

Bridge was kinda meh, but could be fixed with vocals over it.

You do well with harmonies ^^

The clean part was a bit predictable :\ You should try spicing it up more.

"Redemption" reminded me of dragonforce lol.


Ok, maybe it wasn't progressive after all. but it still had some very nice riffs.

I think you should fix the bridge and pre-choral areas. they sound a bit out of place.

Once again, the clean part is a bit predictable and/or generic.

Other than that it was great. some very nice riffs in there.

Mind critting mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1187740
#8
A bit of a change in style, isn't it? Sounds more like power metal this time (although there are still metalcore influences). Anyways, this song's pretty good for the style (again, not very fond of power metal) - certainly better than the other one I commented (was it 7?). Although, I was probably too harsh on that one. sorry

Intro - nice stuff. The lead has a groovy rhythm to it. A little drumroll on 17, before entering Pre-Verse, would have been cool, but now I'm nitpicking.

Pre-Verse - Very solid riffing and harmony (best of the song). Bars 33-34 sound kinda odd to me though (it's that F note, goes off key.. but it's okay nevertheless). This time, the use of time-sigs like 5/4 feels more natural. Good stuff.

Verse - again, good work with rhythm and riffs. Harmony misses a little, especially bar 56 - there's a G#, that doesn't belong to any E minor scale, and then there are F's in the rhythm track clashing with F# in lead. I'd stick to the key here and use F# and G.

Bridge - ok, apart from that 5/4 bar. That just breaks the flow and sounds off-key again... In this song, you really overused those harmonisations, and it doesn't always come out right because you basically used minor 3rds (1.5 semitones up) all the way, and doing that you go off key several times.. well, if you're going to do harmony, aim for something more than just minor thirds, and this is melodic stuff, stay in the key! xD

Pre-Chorus - melody's okay, but rhythm in bar 78 sounded weird. Not sure why though.

Chorus - first part of it had a really generic chord progression to it. Second half was better. This harmony I liked (even if still generic.. but that's ok)

After that there are several repeated parts... I keep my previous opinion that you shouldn't repeat stuff like that but re-introduce them with variations (even if small).

Clean Part - nice surprise. You might find this weird but I think the 6/4 bars sounded better to me as 11/8 with the last quarter note cut to an 8th... xD The whole thing sounds much better when drums and bass enter. Redemption part sounds a bit "celtic" to me. It's good, though not amazing.

Overall, yeah, pretty good effort, but still room for improvement. Above all, there's the variations issue, and originality - some of the song had it (honestly, only Pre-Verse stood out to me), but there was some very generic stuff in there as well... I'll give it a 6.5/10 (not to seem harsh, I'm just trying to use the whole 0-10 scale)
#9
Thanks for the crit on mine

First off, I have to admit that this isn't really my genre, so I doubt I can give it the appreciation it deserves, but I really liked it.

Some nice rif***e in there throughout, but i noticed that by bar 150 or so, it started to get a little repetitive to me, but not any more than any other regular song, so you can ignore that.

Right now I'm at the clean part and I really like the riff you have here. It's a great change from the rest of the song and the Redemption section is a great build up after that.

The 10 bars after bar 220 or so seemed a little random to me, but that might have just been me. I really liked the lead out and the end was nice and strong.

I would give you a figure rating, but I doubt I'd be fair since it ain't my genre, but great job anyway
#10
its ok, JR thats what im here or is honest judgement, yea it was song 7, an that one was pretty bad...lol...but...yea, i know little to nothing about music theory or scales, but the notes that you suggested work better and make it sound better....thanks...i just cant seem to get into the whole "theory" aspect of writing music...
#11
Ohm, I listened to this new song, it reminds me some Trivium-like stuff (2006/08 period) Harmonies are good, There some ****ed up bars (e.g. 221). But overall - I'd give it 7/10. Keep it metal!
#12
The song is hard to follow and progresses far too fast, and by about the first 1-2 mins i'd already become bias to the fact that i disliked the song. Some point sof the song are good, but overall... Not so good.

You've obviously got the skill to make a good song, just refine your techniques and perhaps have a better idea of how your song will flow in the future.
#13
Long song, I listened to it twice to get the feeling right, I'm not really into prog metal or the likes.

Nice melody in the verses and chorus.
Redemption part is my favourite, I really liked it.
Pre-verse and pre-chorus didn't feel quite right. Also the 4/4-5/4 time changes felt strange for me but reading the other comments I think I'm at fault here, looks like I'm not really used to this genre/style.
Another thing: I listened to the GP5 version and I felt that the intro chord (E5 to be exact) is too loud compared to the melody, making the chord stand out instead of backuping the melody. I'd recommend checking the volumes of the instruments. (The A5 chord in bars 192-199 is also very loud.)
Finally: great work on the drums.

Though this style is unknown for me you did a nice job there. IMO the afore mentioned parts need some improvement but overall, it's a good song.
Last edited by atira at Aug 23, 2009,
#14
wow nice one!
first few bars reminded me of somthing opeth would do and when the harmony came in at bar 9 it sounded great.
The "pre verse could have sounded better timing wise but i get the sortof thing you were after, it could just be guitar pro not sounding very good"
the verse was pretty good and i loved when the harmony came in. i especialy love bar 65.
the bridge was a good way of breaking the song down from the fast paced riffs into the slower pre chorus so nice one there.
I would say the the chorus from bars 78 to 85 sounded a bit cheezy for my liking but i really like what you did from bar 86 to bar 93.
the transaction into the second verse could be a bit cleaner, even on guitar pro it sounds a little sloppy.

i think the clean part sounds exelent and you built it up very nicely to a good finish
7.5/10 nice work
#15
Returning the crit on mine, thanks for that by the way.

Ok contrary to some other reviewers here, this power metal/core mix here is actually a style I enjoy!

I'll go part by part:


INTRO:

The intro is rockin, it incorporates your scales perfectly and just in general serves as a fine intro. I know you're using the phrygian (not sure on spelling) mode, but I hate that note on the 3 & beat on bars 1,5,9,13, etc. It's an F, 10th fret. Anyway that just clashes IMO especially when its harmonized, so I went ahead and changed it to an f# and it sounds more melodic and fitting for the genre (the phrygian mode tends to sound more egyptian and heavier in general, while not as "melodic" if you see where I'm coming from.) Your choice, but I just found it sounded better for the intro specifically.

The drums are good for the intro, I REALLY enjoyed that slowdown at bar 16, it's hard to do well in a tablature program but you pulled it off. I also enjoyed the huge drum fill, nice touch there.

PRE VERSE:

Ok for the pre verse, bars 18-24 is where its at, nice guitar riff and flow. The only complaint I have in this part is that the drums have that "someone threw them together real quick" feel, and just sounds really fast and jumbled (maybe take off those cymbal hits on every single snare?)

I don't know why you have 25-34 where it is. It is a good sounding little section that fits the theme of the song, but just doesn't belong there, and I think it disrupts the flow you were trying to establish with the pre verse. I think that section would better serve as bridge, together with a nice solo overtop or something. When I re-listened to the song, I just skipped that part honestly because I liked your first pre verse section that much more!

VERSE:

The guitar part here is simple and effective, not much to say.
The drums, on the other hand, seem too complex again. I'm not sure if that's just the genre or I am underestimating the world's drummers' abilities, but all those random toms thrown about as well as sometimes triplet/sometimes not triplet bass pedals doesn't really establish a rhythm, and it feels like the drum is just there to accent whatever note the guitar is hitting in the middle of its chugging. So I would recommend making a more memorable beat, but that's just me, so idk lol.

BRIDGE-CHORUS:

Please remove that bridge, it's slow, unnecessary, and just seems something that I would write when I first started several years ago. Not to be that harsh, but it's sections like that that you need to see are just filler and should be cut. I know you are trying to transition from the verse heavy-hittedness to the pre-chrous and chorus's more slow melodic feel, but I think the pre chorus can do that just on its own. In fact, bars 75 and 76 transition well enough; you can remove all the prechorus and just leave that, or add to that, but that is a damn nice transition, it's a shame the bridge beforehand ruins it haha.

The first part of the chorus (78-85) is meh, it seems to get the job done like usual. The drums though give it a metallica like feel that makes me think of the ending of something epic like fade to black, idk haha. If I had creative rights, I would take that section and leave it for the end of the final chorus, and have soloes fading out over it (that is one possible ending). Anyway, the other part of the chorus, (86-93) is better,
it flows more and just feels higher quality.

The drums at 86-93 are PERFECT here and that's what makes it sound so high quality. You took all the random toms and things from the verse and slowed it down, and that's why it sounds good. There's a minimum of cymbal hits so it really drives home the chug of the rhythm guitar. Nice job.

VERSE 2:

Bar 94: Uggh please change this or scrap this. Or put a bridge to transition. But the mellowness of the chorus needs to change to the heavyness of the verse in some other fashion. I could think of several possible ways; the key point though is they leave some tension that is then resolved by the hard E powerchord of the beginning of 95.

Same complaints from the previous verse, why why why do you have to put in 102-111? Breaks up the flow from that damn good riff before....

A mention: I LOVE the harmony involved in 133/137, great choice to harmonize that last E note with its major third.

SAME STUFF:

Same stuff as before, same everything until the clean section

CLEAN SECTION:

Yeah I am not really a fan of this stuff unless its done perfectly. You did it fairly well, but like I said I'm more of a fan of a slow break with guitars then outright transition into clean mode.

REDEMPTION:

Nice part here! Harmonizes well, and has a nice build up! Great job!
But why???? WHY??? Why do you have to place another BLAND bridge afterwards??
Bar 215, it's just asking for all that pumped up energy to go somewhere!! A solo, or a hard hitting form of a breakdown (not a metalcore, but a slow powerful section, I may write one later today just because your section lines one up perfectly). This is such a good section, but I feel it's wasted by the inclusion of a bridge right after, and what's worse is this bridge is unchanged from before! I don't know if you were planning on changing it later or what but please don't leave it like that, or all the tension and suspense you build up from redemption is gone.

CHORUS TO END:

Ehh, average job here.. you ended it, and you didn't end it badly. You didn't end it very uniquely either (I rarely do myself...) This definitely sounds like its been done before though; you dragged out the rhythm section for the chorus, barely changed it up, and had another little harmonized run before ending it on the chord. I feel like there were sooooo many more options for that ending, its a shame you chose that one

OVERALL:

This was much much better than I thought it was going to be. Nice work all around, it is definitely a stand alone song, and it definitely has ideas, and sticks to these ideas. I can only recommend changing the drum a bits, and changing the transitions, the ideas you center the song around can be developed in so many new and exciting ways, and your song sets itself up to explore these ways, but you go straight to a final chorus and similar ending!!

I'm going with a 7/10, cause I love the genre
#16
What the fuck...
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