#1
INCOMPLETE
Last Update: Sept 3
RSE ONLY
Recent changes:
-Clean up the bass some
-Reduced the length of Theme 2
-Reworked bass and drums for Curiously Mysterious (drums suck though)

Technically this is two songs in 1. The first song is about 70% complete and largely unpolished. The second song, as is probably obvious is barely started.

Anyway, I'm posting this now because in the last few days I'm largely feeling like I've kind of lost a bit of direction. I've a few billion ideas, but I want this to remain a song more than a stream of one idea following into the next.

Sooo... Suggestions on where to go next, how to arrange, any parts that stand out as horrifically bad are all appreciated.

Anyway, RSE only for the moment. If the bass sounds off, adjust the latency in the audio options until it sounds in time. If you're listening in midi, you'll probably have to adjust the volumes (and mute one of the bass tracks) so it sounds correct. I'm not going to bother mixing for midi until I at least get one of the two songs completely finished.

Post a link, and I shall C4C
Attachments:
The Funky Monkey on Prozak current.zip
Last edited by icronic at Sep 3, 2009,
#2
OMG HE RETURNS!! yes, i loved the first funky monkey.

The Funky Monkey Takes His Meds: beautiful groove, love'n the slap, and i like how the drums aren't set in stone.

Flying on a Blue Pill: Kick ass solo over the first groove, honestly can't think of anything i'd change. i like how you start with the long notes in order to slowly introduce the guitar.

New perspective, old story: The triplets the measure before weren't quite enough for a good transition. but in itself, i love this groove as much as the first one, and you got some more significant rhythm guitar this time so all right.

Dreaming on the outside: This is perfect, i love how everything seemed to perfectly slide in to place. the drum part looks insanely complicated and messy, but somehow fits in. and the change outta chords helps with the mood. i love the solo except for a few parts that sound weird, but thats probably because of guitar pro.

Main Theme: I can easily see a monkey walking with this playing. don't chang anythign with this section (unless it can somehow make it better)

Theme 2: didn't see it coming, and im glad i didn't. changed up the beat, and it just sounds awesome.

Curiously Mysterious: Nice use of efx with the tremolo bar to get some deeper sounds. and the drums are still blowing me away, i'm just starting to realize the amount of time you've probably put into each track. its great. and when the guitar came in, i starting feeling... curious?

after that, all the little peices you having laying out there, sound like the have a lot of potential, finish this, NOW! this is really cool, its too bad the post-hardcore competition wasn't a funk competition btw, maybe after his "decent into madness" try some dissonant chord stuff, and see if you can fit in some weird time signatures to furthar the madness, and maybe afterwords a light at the end of the tunnel? idk, i don't really want monkey to die.
Last edited by Uber Man at Aug 24, 2009,
#3
i loved the first time you made use of the silence, it was really cool. but got so over used.


And that ending... omg, how cheesy haha xD

Really loved the song man, was very out of the box and was very dynamic, rather static and flat.

#4
I'm going to be honest, that bass is messy.
At least to me anyway.
The problem with us critting each other's music, is we're so, so different in style.
Anyway, as I listen:

"Flying on a blue pill" sounded like Steve Vai's "Answers" minus the uhh, uncontrollable bass.
"New Perspective.." Sounded pretty sweet, I have to say. Got me moving.
"Dreaming" Solo, I thought this was absolutly awful. What's with the fast legato's? From bar 45 on, it was gold though.
"Main Theme" was ****ing smoking! Holy hell! sounds like some of my old, chiller work when I was obsessed with Vai. Awesome ****ing job.
"Theme 2" was pretty cute :P
"Curious.." ...hmm... Ruined it for me. So I'm going to slap that out in my final rating.

I was originally going to give it 6/10 because the style makes me cringe, but as musicianship you definatly get a 9/10.

Tips: Listen to Vai's songs "Answers", "Hand On Heart" and "Lotus Feet". Then write more to the song.
#5
Updated.... Been in a bit of a creative slump, but I have updated it a fair bit. There are a couple transitions which are very iffy. I've been trying to fix them, but not having much luck, so if anyone's got any ideas, well... Give them
#6
Thanks for the crit.

I quite enjoyed the first Funky Monkey so hopefully this lives up to expectations

Takes his meds: No gripes here really. The only thing a would suggest is making the guitar a bit loude and maybe shortening it a tad.

Blue Pill: Nice solo. It's really difficult to actually critique your work, because you are a fantastic writer (not to sound like a kiss ass)

New Perspective: So far, I loved the bass. Same as the first one. It really makes the songs. Not a single bad bit thus far

Dreaming: I quite enjoy the appregio, complete with very well done solo. No propblem with the Main THeme either. Very good song so far. Theme 2 was ncie and happy, while still fitting the theme the song has had. I do think the bass should take a back seat in this section though. I felt like Mysterious could have been shortened a bit. The re-visit to the theme was a good idea. Descent Into Madnes was a cool section. Would have been better with some guitar though.

All in all, it's a great piece of work. Keep it up and thanks for commenting on virtually all of my songs.
#7
So, is Funky Monkey a diminutive of Fun Monk?


Anyways..
The slap bass in the intro sounds weird in midi, speically with all those 32th notes lying around, use slide or take them out and the slap bass will sound perfect...
I liked the riff that came next, specially the second part, although I don't know if it would be used to fit a funk song or maybe some other type of music (jazzy for instance)...

With the whole main theme and on, this does sound more chillout than the usual heavy funk I used to listen, but it is well done, the happy tone fits it...
The mysterious bass part sounded ehmm...mysterious though (and the bass sounded way too loud the whole song)...
Descent into Madness sounded like a song from Contra or something

Anyways, pretty good, mind critting my last song? (last in sig?)


...


Oh crap I almost forgot to listen to that last bits
Did Funky Monkey die or something at the end?

Ehmm, I suppose those last parts are unfinished.
#8
More updates. Changed the order of the "curiously mysterious" section. It flows a little better now, although still isn't perfect.

Gonzaw: The bass was too loud because you probably didn't read my post and listened in midi

As for the genre, well it's definitely not funk It's some strange rock/funk hybrid topped off with very small dose of jazz.

The death note at the end was a product of my frustration. Haven't decided if I'll actually work it into the song or not, but for the moment it amuses me, so it stays.
#9
just critting new parts

Bar45: love the bends, they give the solo another emotion but bar47 and the 7-10 slide erased that mood.

bends at bars 57 61 63 also great but the transition from 64-65 agaion erased the mood somehow. The connection just feels so "forced"

Bar 80 feels strange at first, try sliding from 19 instead from 16.

Curiously Mysterious: Love the guitars

part at bar 105 doesnt fit at all and the thing at 109/1110 doesnt work. The transaition at bar 112 is smooth though.

I like the jazzy solo after it, your chord progressions are always really good and fitting, even the one over the slippng away part.

Concerning your drums, for me a drum beat is mostly defined by the snare drums, and you always place your snares at hits 5, 8 and 13. basically it'S a nice refreshing beat but you use it in basically every song most of the time.
You also use far more snares in fill ins than toms, you might want to vary it a bit
I also see a lot of copypasting here and there >.>
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#10
Gonna agree with the others... The bass is messy throughout pretty much...


The funky monkey takes his meds is pretty standard for an intro and is pretty good.

Flying on a blue pill is excellent. I love the tone of the guitar and the simplistic and catchy guitar work. Very similar to Joe Satriani.

New perspective, Old story is more of an interlude and sounds cool.

Dreaming on the outside sounds kind of like the police - every breath you take. It's pretty spaced out and mellow sounding.

The main theme is uplifting and funky... Very funky.

Overall a pretty good track

7/10

C4C?
#11
Thorbor:

I never really realized how much I did that snare thing until a couple days ago. It's kind of funny actually, everything changes but the snare always stays the same. Anyway, you're more than welcome to have your way with my drums I'd love to see what someone else can do with em.

64-65. Well from 57-64 is minor, and 65 switched back to mixolydian again, so unless I extend the minor part there's really nothing that can be done to sustain that kind of mood.

Bar 80 is actually supposed to be bends on 16 and not slides at all, I just couldn't get the timing right so I stuck slides in. But other than that I'm not sure why it'd sound weird? I'm just playing the G# and A from the chords. Maybe it's the rhythm of it?

Curiously Mysterious: Still working on this section. Need to change the drums up, thinking about simplifying the bass part to match the guitar part a little better too. Originally the bass break came before the guitar bit, and originally that worked really well, except the transfer into the main theme was a horrific train wreck.

Why is it that whenever anyone uses those 3 stringed 9th chords someone mentions The Police?
#12
Nice groove at the start. Love the solo in Flying on a Blue Pill - as people have mentioned earlier, it really emulates the style of those instrumental guitarists - Vai and Satch. However, personally, the bass gets just a little much even by the relatively early "New perspective..."

Dreaming is another nice solo, although not quite as good as Blue Pill. Now the Main Theme I really dig - nice focused section. Bass stays in line there, and is less erratic - makes for easier listening. Oh, and the lead is great, too. Theme 2 is great as well - another highlight for me.

Curiously Mysterious is another part which really doesn't do anything for me, though. I can certainly respect the musicianship, don't get me wrong, but it's just hard to really get a grasp on anything there - it just feels like technical flair.

Back to Main Theme - you really have a talent for interesting, varied leads, even over the same backing. Although, I have to admit, it does go for perhaps just a little too long.

Slipping away is interesting - I like it.
Descent is another technically good part, however small it is atm - but yea, it's just hard to get into. Or least for me.

I'll leave the shards at the end out of it - although that last little bit is cheesy as hell - but when implemented well, I do like my cheese.

So, technically very nice - just perhaps a little work on the melodies, if you do want to improve it in that regard. Sorry I've been a little abstract in my crit, and not really giving any specific help - I'm a little outta my depth here, I think - just not my style of writing. I want to see this finished, though.

Have a look at A Shrewd Man in my sig, if you're interested.
Last edited by Quibokk at Sep 3, 2009,
#14
So, here is it, I changed a few drum parts.
The main changes are "curiously mysterious" and "slipping away". I also added 4 bars at the end of the main song, I hope you can figure out what I did there.
Except for "slipping away" there are just minor changes like a few toms and hi hats here and there, nothing special.
I don't know how you write your music, I usually start with te drum beat and then experiment with the bass a bit, but it seems that you start with the bass/guitar. Because of that, I didn't change anything completly, your drum beat for the main theme fits perfectly.
What I try to say is, It doesn't really make sense to change your drums without changing the other instruments as well.
Attachments:
The Funky Monkey on Prozak current.zip
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#15
Thanks, definitely stealing some of this.

The bit you did for Slipping away is rather insane. Although I have to admit it took me 3 or 4 listens to figure out what was going on.

But yeah, generally start off with bass or guitars. I'm thinking it's time to experiment with drums first then add guitars and bass after.