#1
I wouldn't suck on that chupa chup if I were you
I wouldn't put on those sunglasses if I were you
and if you play on that slide I'd hide from you
I wouldn't cry if I fell over if I was you

Girl you're a gun
The temptation to pull the trigger
and go bang
is too much for some

I wouldn't call your mother mummy if I were you
I'd say I went to college and not to school
and if you want a drink I'd ask for alcohol
I wouldn't say I was young if I was you

cos girl you're a gun
and he's the finger of fun

you think he's different
a little bit square
that he won't kiss you in public
cos he's losing his hair
but he knows what he wants
and he wants you

there were policeman all over him down the road
they say the alley by his house is somewhere you shouldn't go
you think he's different, a little bit alright
but he's really hard to please when you leave at half past nine

I wouldn't dip that dab if I were you
I'd ignore the flying saucer too
and I'd let those cola bottles leak onto the floor
and leave the candy stick smokes at door

cos girl you're a gun
and he's the finger of fun
Last edited by Jammydude44 at Aug 24, 2009,
#2
Goddamned good I'll be reading this again.

you spelt alcohol wrong.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#3
see the thing that makes you really fun to read recently is you're taking all your classical training in meter rhyme and rhythm and adapting it to a playful verse. keep it the hell up brosef. and if you're still in that band i'd love to hear it.
#4
Very clever, Jamie, and very enjoyable. This had a bounce and playful air that's really been strong in your latest pieces. Keep it strong, not enough good lyricists around here.
#5
I like how people are saying words like "playful" when it's about a paedophile lol. This please me very much.

Thankayou for quick responses guyses/girlses. Will desperately try and critique back.