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#1
Dearest Pit and all ye who inhabit it,

Tomorrow is my first day back at school and I am at a current lack of ideas on how to more or less mentally scar the incoming freshmen for life. My only criteria for ideas is that I can't get arrested. So don't say RAPE, SHOOT THEM, etc.

Help me out here?
I lol'd you've been warned
#3
You could show them your tiny penis.
VENUSIAN
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A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#4
Tell them about your low self-esteem.
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#8
Use a projector to project goatse onto a rather large flat wall.


Quote by CoreysMonster

I still like cho0onger more than the 2 of you

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joke's on you, i actually fuck my cat
#10
Be super friendly to everyone, I mean give directions, smile, be helpful anything you can think of. Except one... Just pick one at random and treat them like absolute ****, spread rumours about them, tell them to go to the wrong classes, perhaps sign them up for the army, the options are endless but this way is more fun and cruel and then just everyone.

EDIT: if that person decides to kill you it is sooo not my fault.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
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I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#11
draw penises on there faces in permanet marker making it look like it's going into there mouthes. it happned to two of my friends and it took them a week to get rid of it =/

also if you see any kids with lunch bags, steal it before lunch, crap in it, then put it back in there locker. yes, true story, happned to a teacher lol
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I laughed at someone for breaking his g-string, and got sigged


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You just made me spit out my Kool-Aid all over my keyboard.


sorry
#12
Quote by SpartanTHC
Hang yourself in front of them.



This.

...And have someone beat your corpse with a folding chair.
#13
"You youngsters are gonna grow up! UGH!! And then some of you will get jobs! AGH!! A handful of you will finish school and attend a community college or university! RAGH!! Afterwards a select few of you will become upstanding members of society! GRR!! Ha ha! Good luck, freshies..."
#14
Masturbate loudly in front of them whilst asphyxiating yourself with a plastic bag.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#15
Quote by wizards?
Run around singing King Diamond like Randall in Clerks II.


GRAAAAAANNDMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

#16
Gimp mask, chainsaw, butt plug


Quote by MightyAl
How do you physically download an album? Like run your computer off a dynamo on an exercise bike?
#17
Quote by Venice King
Be super friendly to everyone, I mean give directions, smile, be helpful anything you can think of. Except one... Just pick one at random and treat them like absolute ****, spread rumours about them, tell them to go to the wrong classes, perhaps sign them up for the army, the options are endless but this way is more fun and cruel and then just everyone.

EDIT: if that person decides to kill you it is sooo not my fault.


And if you find a penny in a door ...
#18
Quote by aaciseric
And if you find a penny in a door ...

Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#19
Quote by wesleyisgay
draw penises on there faces in permanet marker making it look like it's going into there mouthes. it happned to two of my friends and it took them a week to get rid of it =/




Im not used to your terminology but i assume "freshman" means 1st year. What age group are we talking here?
#20
Show them the video of what you did with that jam jar.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#21
Quote by duggyrocks


Im not used to your terminology but i assume "freshman" means 1st year. What age group are we talking here?

13, 14...18
#22
Tell them that theres a long history of firearms being taken into school by teachers.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#24
Hide behind a door and when they walk through it, jump out and shout "OOGAH BOOGAH BOOGAH". Watch 'em shit their pants.
*parp*
#26
Wrap them in tortillas and eat them.
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#27
Quote by Kensai
Wrap them in tortillas and eat them.

Pretty sure you can get arrested for that, not sure what the laws are on human confection though.
*parp*
#29
You could go for the old trick of waiting around the toilets until one walks into a cubicle, then two people proceed to enter the cubicles either side of said cubicle and piss on the floor under him. Happened to my friend, he shat bricks.
#30
Be nice to them.
They'll be expecting horribleness, and when their expectations are not met, it'll feck them right up.
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Damn you, bodyheatseeker

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bodyheatseeker, I will NEVER forgive you.

#31
Quote by thedefrockednun
make them sniff your scrotum


Or you could make those gay freshman nerds spoon with you and show you their penises.
#33
Moon them with a butt drawn on your face.
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#34
Quote by wizards?
Run around singing King Diamond like Randall in Clerks II.


GRAAAAAANNDMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!



WELCOOOOOME HOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!
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This man is smart.

Quote by guitar-guy69
you spelt colors wrong


Tweet me bro.
#37
Shield your face when you piss one off and he decides to beat your ass.
#38
Quote by -Ru-
Shield your face when you piss one off and he decides to beat your ass.

If that happened to me, I'd much sooner shield my ass.
Plays:
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Amp, Pedals:
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#39
Hug them for an uncomfortable amount of time.

Whisper in their ears whilst hugging: "Let me be your hero."

live righteously

I swear to God we're gonna get it right,
If you'd just lay your weapon down.
#40
Quote by Bleurgh
Hide behind a door and when they walk through it, jump out and shout "OOGAH BOOGAH BOOGAH". Watch 'em shit their pants.


lol Courge the Cowardly Dog is awesome. You need to have the scary mask though or else they will look at you like your a moron.
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