#1
I was just sitting at home and all these lines popped into my head, this has never happened before so I decided to jot them all down as fast as I could before I forgot.

Im not entirely sure what it all means and to be honest I dont know if some parts would even make sense but it sounded pretty interesting to me so here it is


I found roses in my garden, mortal enemies, rubies, all sorts red
Who put these things here? I see through to the other side
And the others call back in funeral amazement. Rapt in awe.
Plant words and they will grow.

Why must my lament be witnessed by such events
Lurking jaws, joints of time. The End.
This infinite barrel of insanity that plagues dear constant readers minds.

Must it end, or is this merely the fathoms of what lies ahead?
Our grieving minds tend not to find solace so we must simply go asunder
Lest we plague more minds with our surreal, wandering concoctions of the greatest gift of man

Imagination
Last edited by danfletcher90 at Aug 24, 2009,
#2
You have an impressive vocabulary, but at some points it seems far too wordy. I enjoyed the first stanza very much, it is the one that makes the most sense to me. The other two were OK, but they just aren't my style
#3
Thanks alot, it's actually strange because I never write things due to a frustratingly poor ability to tap into my vocabulary.

All these strange lines popped into my head and they make absolutely no sense to me so thanks for being able to aleast find some sense in there somewhere
#4
Usually when lines pop into my head, they end up being lines from other songs. Which isn't cool haha
#5
hahah well so far reading through it I have picked 2 things which must be direct influences - The End. I love The Doors, especially their song 'The End.' And i love Stephen King who adresses his readers at the beginning/end of his books as Constant Readers.

Any work you would like a crit on? I'm not sure how helpful I could be though, I dont often write
#7
Please read the forum rules (near the top of the page) regarding thread titles. I fixed yours for you, but read them anyways.

Thanks.