#1
It's of no consequence, on pain of death and truth
regenerate the hate for all those who died for glory
and restart the hate machine born of desire.

I defy you a chance
to catch your breath.
A punch to the jaw
and a boot the door.

Your shepherd has fallen and sheep are loose,
if there was no reason to the end
there should be no truth to the start.
ties have fallen into sand
pits of stinking shame will lead this liberation.

I defy you a chance
to catch your breath.
A punch to the jaw
and a boot the door.
shake your head and
scream your wrath,
death awaits you on your chosen path.

Dig a grave to hide the burns,
a laughingstock that you made.
I'm the result of too much light,
never exposed to the dark and the
mandate it has wrought.

I'm all ears, do you have a voice?
___________________________________________________________________

Critique?
Last edited by BoxofFun at Aug 24, 2009,
#2
Really amazing. Some parts just didnt make much sense. Like

Dig a grave to hide the burns,
a laughingstock that you made.
I'm the result of too much light,
never exposed to the dark and the
mandate it has wrought.

The last two stanzas kind of ruin the flow. And, because theyre at the end, they ruin the entire song. Its kinda when you eat something and then you get a sour aftertaste. But then the last line
I'm all ears, do you have a voice?
Is the water that washes that bad taste away. Great job. And of course c4c. Please.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1188909