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#1
Thoughtful of those heathens to look after my cat.

http://www.jesuspets.com/Home/2/What.is.JesusPets.aspx

What is JesusPets?

Who is going to care for your pets after you are raptured into heaven?

Many Christians believe that animals do not go to heaven. So when Jesus comes back and you return with him to heaven, will there be somebody to take care of your dog or cat?

If you have a non-Christian family member, they might take care of your pet, but if not, have you made any plans? Imagine being taken to streets of gold while your dog starves to death walking around in his own feces trapped in your small house or apartment, subject to fire and earthquakes or even being eaten by heathens searching for any remaining morsel of food. Do you want that to happen?

With the imminent collapse of the global economy and rampant godlessness, even the community shelters will not have the resources to care for your poor, hungry animals. So you need to make preparations.

That’s what JesusPets is for. We are assembling a community of heathen pet-lovers to care for pets that are “left-behind.” We are coordinating with feed mills and kennels in preparation for your post-apocalyptic pet care needs.
Death to Ovation haters!
#4
Wat
Quote by abstract pie
Ahh the pit. Where conversations of Pokemon Cards can turn into ones of wizard homosexuality



You are everything I want...
...'Cause you are...

...Everything I'm not.

Atheism. Is. Not. A. Religion.
Today's saints were yesterday's sellouts
#5
But but... isn't anyone who isn't a Christian going to Hell?
Dear God, do you actually answer prayers?

Yes, but only in a way indistinguishable from random luck or the result of your own efforts.
#6
Quote by Aléx
Misleading title is misleading. I wanted my own Jesus.

Hire a gardener.

<_<


>_>


Why aren't I being smitten? It seems like that really deserved bei

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#7
"trapped in your small house or apartment"
These 'Christians' are a tad self-righteous.
"Oh, if i could kidnap that feeling, the one that melts all fears from your mind."
Quote by Babbs

i thought you meant there was some ancient indian spirit named desi who would come and haunt me during my trip.
#10
Quote by Mad Marius
But but... isn't anyone who isn't a Christian going to Hell?


That's after the Rapture. Haven't you read the Left Behind series?
Death to Ovation haters!
#11
There was far too much stupid contained in that website for it to be serious. And if it is serious then i'm going back to serial killing.
#12
lol

I thought Jesus IS the pet.

Quote by Aléx
Misleading title is misleading. I wanted my own Jesus.


#13
Obviously, guys, this thread isn't run by Christians. It was put out by atheists to see how many Christians go for it.
Death to Ovation haters!
#14
Quote by PatchworkMan
Obviously, guys, this thread isn't run by Christians. It was put out by atheists to see how many Christians go for it.


Oh, thank ... well, not God. Thank Zeus, he has a cooler beard.
#15
Quote by SteveHouse
Hire a gardener.


Oh, I would. But, lacking a garden, it would seem a tad suspicious when I started rubbing ointment into the poor fellow's feet.
-

#16
Quote by aaciseric
Oh, thank ... well, not God. Thank Zeus, he has a cooler beard.

He turned into birds just so he could rape chicks. That guy should be the Pit's real mascot.

As a matter of fact, I think we can declare Zeus the Lord of Pittism.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#17
Quote by SteveHouse
He turned into birds just so he could rape chicks. That guy should be the Pit's real mascot.

As a matter of fact, I think we can declare Zeus the Lord of Pittism.


I agree, out with Hugh, in with Zeus.
#18
Quote by SteveHouse
He turned into birds just so he could rape chicks. That guy should be the Pit's real mascot.

As a matter of fact, I think we can declare Zeus the Lord of Pittism.


Does this mean I finally have the excuse to cry "ZEUS'S BEARD!" in the pit as an exclamation of surprise?
Call me Jack.
All that you love...
...you must love now.
My Gear:
PRS Custom 24
Standard MIM Tele
Larrivée LV-09E
Rivera Clubster 45 112 Combo Tube
Boss ME-20 Multi-effects pedal
Boss OC-3 Super octave pedal
My own home-made octave-up pedal
#19
Quote by Arrived+Dparted
Does this mean I finally have the excuse to cry "ZEUS'S BEARD!" in the pit as an exclamation of surprise?

Zeus's Beard! What a great idea!

After a hasty test drive, I'm a fan

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#21
There was a different website just like this posted here yesterday.
Check out my band Disturbed
#23
Quote by Arrived+Dparted
Does this mean I finally have the excuse to cry "ZEUS'S BEARD!" in the pit as an exclamation of surprise?

By the beard of Zeus, that's marvelous!
-

#24
for Jesus pets or a Zeus beard?
"Oh, if i could kidnap that feeling, the one that melts all fears from your mind."
Quote by Babbs

i thought you meant there was some ancient indian spirit named desi who would come and haunt me during my trip.
#25
Quote by SteveHouse
Hire a gardener.

<_<


>_>


Why aren't I being smitten? It seems like that really deserved bei


hahaha that took me a minute +1
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████
#26
Zeus got a lot more action than is standard for the Pit. I suspect Loki is a better fit.
Death to Ovation haters!
#28
that is a god-awful idea.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#30
Quote by imdeth
Are we talking about Jesus pets or Zeus now? Hmm... imagine dogs with huge beards. I want one.


Death to Ovation haters!
#31
Quote by imdeth
Are we talking about Jesus pets or Zeus now? Hmm... imagine dogs with huge beards. I want one.

I'm officially naming a pet Zeus. What a great name. (Not my Newfoundland though. His name will be Barry White.)

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#33
Zeus's Beard! There is alread a pet thread!

Just kidding, this doesn't belong there, but I wanted to say Zeus's Bear.
Quote by SlackerBabbath

I also have hairy butt cheeks, I once shaved a letter 'W' on each cheek, so that when I bent over it spelled WoW.

warning, some of the contents of this post may not necessarily be completely true.
#34
Quote by imdeth
Are we talking about Jesus pets or Zeus now? Hmm... imagine dogs with huge beards. I want one.


#35
Quote by blackthought
Fixed. Norse gods>all


Could Odin throw lightning? The greek gods were badass spent all their time drinking and debaucherising people I mean look at the wars they inadvertantly caused! :P
"Oh, if i could kidnap that feeling, the one that melts all fears from your mind."
Quote by Babbs

i thought you meant there was some ancient indian spirit named desi who would come and haunt me during my trip.
#36
Quote by PatchworkMan
That's after the Rapture. Haven't you read the Left Behind series?


Nope.

Quote by generatestatic
Could Odin throw lightning? The greek gods were badass spent all their time drinking and debaucherising people I mean look at the wars they inadvertantly caused! :P


Odin could rearrange your face. And the Greek gods were pussies compared to the Norse ones.
Dear God, do you actually answer prayers?

Yes, but only in a way indistinguishable from random luck or the result of your own efforts.
Last edited by Mad Marius at Aug 25, 2009,
#37
Quote by Mad Marius

Odin could rearrange your face. And the Greek gods were pussies compared to the Norse ones.

The Norse gods ultimately died. Zeus turned into a swan for the sake of raep. That's how comfortable with his manhood he was.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#38
Quote by SteveHouse
The Norse gods ultimately died. Zeus turned into a swan for the sake of raep. That's how comfortable with his manhood he was.

Wait a minute, what is this thread about?
two and a half men.
#39
Zeus would kick Odin all the way to Jotunheimer! Then turn into a swan again for the lulz XD
"Oh, if i could kidnap that feeling, the one that melts all fears from your mind."
Quote by Babbs

i thought you meant there was some ancient indian spirit named desi who would come and haunt me during my trip.
#40
Quote by Cameronrobson
Wait a minute, what is this thread about?

Zeus's Beard, he's right. I have a question for you anyway, TS....


How did you find this?

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

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