#1
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V

Well, here it is, the final part. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I've included a character list right at the end, just to add a bit of info and clear some things up.


*****


The first thing her mind accepted were the flashing lights of the police vehicle and ambulance. Next, the charred wreck smashed against the tree and the two men standing by it. Finally, she noticed the white sheet on the gurney and the shape beneath it.
“No,” she breathed, moving forward without even realising. The people around her took no notice as she approached the body bag. She unzipped it slowly, peeked inside, and then fell to the ground, her legs giving up from shock. She crawled away, back into the forest and the trees, weeping. She didn’t notice the man beside her until he spoke.
“You weren’t supposed to know, Rein,” Goddard spoke softly, kneeling beside her.
“What is going on here, Goddard?” she asked.
“You’re dead.”
“Wow, really?” Rein snapped. “Cause I don’t fucking feel dead.” Goddard shook his head.
“I can’t explain it anyway that you would like, Rein. You’re dead, I’m dead, and everyone in that house tonight is dead.”
Rein sighed. “So what is this then? Purgatory?”
“Something like that. Each night, seven people somehow end up at my house, and by morning, they’re all gone. I’m not allowed to interfere.”
“Wait, interfere in what?”
“The Judging.”
“The Judging?”
“Did you wonder, why seven?”
“Why seven?”
“The Seven Deadly Sins.”
“You mean, that bible stuff?”
“Pride, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, Wrath and Envy. The seven of you were all guilty of one of them. You are Pride.”
Rein blushed, her mind quickly associating the others.
“But the madman?”
“He is the soul collector, the devil’s judge. He tests each person with their own sins, and if they fail, they go to hell.”
“But where is, you know, God?”
Goddard chuckled. “I don’t know, Rein. I’m just an old man stuck in purgatory permanently for living a neutral life, neither good nor bad. You need to return inside, Rein.” He gently took her arm. Rein allowed herself to be lifted up.
“Has anyone ever...?”
“No. Not here, at least. Not since I’ve been here.”
“How long is that?”
“Few hundred years. You lose track.”
Rein followed behind Goddard, until the house loomed before them. She hesitated at the threshold. Goddard turned to her.
“You can’t escape him, Rein. You are here because you deserve to be,” he said, pulling her inside the door.

Outside, in the rain, a little girl sat and watched. She had long become immune to the screams, the suffering. She offered hope, a light in the darkness. She had seen all the evils of the world, but every now and then, her love was returned. She saw hope within Rein’s spirit, a kindness suppressed; and so she had given her a gift, knowledge. Maybe this one was different, she thought. She turned to the masked man beside her.
“I never got it, the disguise,” she remarked, casually. The Judge chuckled. Thousands of years, always the same question.
“We all wear masks.”
The girl smiled sadly. “We exist inside our own house, we just always expect someone else to open the door.”
“Maybe they’ll learn one day,” the Judge said, climbing to his feet. “Until then...”
The girl nodded. “Until then.”


The End



Characters:
Rein Jackson – Actress (PRIDE)
Jensen Carter – Food critic (GLUTTONY)
Frank Maloney – Financier (GREED)
Sandra Maloney – Model (LUST)
Alice Langley – Florist (ENVY)
Claire Langley – “Street artist” (WRATH)
James Jameson – Unemployed, talented musician (SLOTH)
Goddard Smith – he owns the house but cannot participate or offer assistance
The Judge – masked lunatic (THE DEVIL)
Sally – a strange spirit child (GOD)
Last edited by kdownes at Aug 26, 2009,
#2
I love the ending. I never really thought of God and the Devil working together.

I don't have much to add from what I said on the last one. This last part was thousands of times better than the rest of it. Of the whole entire thing, the last paragraph was the only thing that was great. The rest was just good.

You have yourself a very entertaining story.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#3
Very entertaining and thought provoking story. Well, the end was thought provoking... the rest was just entertaining. I feel like the payoff was so above the setup that it makes us as readers tainted toward the rest. This was the only part I truly remember from when you showed this to me. The rest is faint... this part is bold and lovely.

This part is quite possibly the strongest piece of writing you've ever delivered... its just a shame it makes the rest of hte story seem so ordinary. Wonderfully imagined and painted; my main quip was the clown mask which felt cliche as hell... and that this was so gentle and wonderous and thought provoking and amazing that the rest seems to pale in comparison... which makes the reader wish you could have delivered as much punch in the rest of it.

#4
Hey
I checked an earlier part of this, not expecting much, only to end up reading part 1 through 6. I have to say I've been impressed by the series. Great job there.
#5
Thanks everyone. I think i'm gonna leave this one sitting around for a year, then come back and rewrite, because i do believe that the rest of the story lets the ending down. Thanks for reading everyone.
#6
thats really good. ive only read this pieace but it made me want to read the others. keep up the good work
#7
I only got to read the last three parts now. First of all, I thought it was kind of predictable. Everything in general. I hoped they were seven for other reason than the deadly sins, until it was evident.

Other thing I'd like to say is that I don't think the last part is astonishingly better than the previous. I like some of the images that came to my mind such as the Judge dissolving, making one sister kill the other and the mirror part was quite good. This just felt like a cool piece rather than something with abnormal quality. Still, I liked reading it (clearly). I'm sorry that this bumps this piece but I had to drop my opinion on this.