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#1
For about 2 years now, I have woken up pretty much every morning feeling a hatred to this place, dreading the day ahead of me, so much that I'm now planning on moving to B.C. to live with a friend and his mom.

I moved to Ontario about 2 years ago, my dad decided he would get a job here and shipped our entire family across the country, where I've been hoping to leave since. and now I have the chance, a flight I can book and a house to live in.

Last night I came home to a locked door, when I started to walk to the garage my dad came out and to keep it short said, leave now or don't leave at all, I decided to walk away, in the end I wound up back here after he picked me up. During the ride back home I was told my parents would probably end up getting divorced if I left (though it'll probably happen anyway). Neither of my parents want me to go, but my mom will help me no matter what I decide to do.

So here I am, now knowing what to do, should I destroy my relationship with my family to live the life I have been wishing I had for 2 years now, or should I stay with my family, and live another year of ****ing hell.

And yes I realize this isn't the place to ask things like this, but there always is at least one good answer which makes all the childish answers worth it.

Also, have any of you moved out before, your stories?

TL;DR Honestly if you can't read that, I doubt your opinion on this would mean anything anyway.
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#2
try to have a great life

edit: you are not even 17
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Last edited by Toast1337 at Aug 26, 2009,
#3
How long would it be 'til you moved out normally? If it's only a year or so, then I think that would be worth it to keep the family together. If it's longer than a couple of years, then I think you're too young to be moving away from your parents anyway.
#5
well i'm planning on moving on my own soon. i live with my aunt and uncle and i feel the same way. I know there's a plan where the govermant pays for my rent (i'm with this thing becuse my mother has an illness) and i could just pay for my rent on my own. I don't know how to tell them without them feelni g hurt and my uncle being a douce and trying to find some way to stop me. If you can you should wait it out intill your in collage. If you don't think you can handle it then do it. Just make sure you call them a lot so you don't lose your family
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#6
wait another year, your too young

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#7
Quote by AnAngrySquirrel
How long would it be 'til you moved out normally? If it's only a year or so, then I think that would be worth it to keep the family together. If it's longer than a couple of years, then I think you're too young to be moving away from your parents anyway.


It would be for my grade 12 years, and I plan on going to university in B.C. anyway, so I'll be moving out now, or a year from now anyway.
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#8
Quote by AnAngrySquirrel
How long would it be 'til you moved out normally? If it's only a year or so, then I think that would be worth it to keep the family together. If it's longer than a couple of years, then I think you're too young to be moving away from your parents anyway.
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#10
I moved out of my parents place and into my grandparents some 2000 miles away
But you're Canadian and I don't know how you people in Canadia go about things. I didn't know you guys even had the internet. Or the wheel for that matter. Isn't it all jungly there?
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#11
dude, your mum and dad staying together or getting divorced should not be a deciding factor in what you do, and mature adults should not be telling you if you go then they will probably get divorced, you moving away or staying, and them getting divorced or not are two completely seperate things, they can not and should not blame you or use you as an excuse to divorce...

from what i've learnt in life, the grass is always greener on the other side, just because you hate where you are doesn't mean things will be better by going somewhere else.... and you might miss it, so don't burn any bridges you don't have to...

that said if you really are that unhappy then you have to do what is right for you.... by the sounds of it you are quite young, and it seems strange that the only thing they have to say on the matter is that they will get divorced if you go....

maybe try staying with your friend for a month to get some perspective on the matter..... or at least take some time away from the situation to figure things out...whatever you do don't do anything to spite your family or to rebel (and be honest with yourself, you won't be proving anything to me or anyone else by telling yourself you are doing this for the right reasons, if deep down you don't think you are)

only you can make the decision, and the best option is honesty... things might not be so bad... there are always new people to meet and new paths to tread wherever you live...
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#12
i'd stay at home until you go to college/uni - having somewhere to live and food are quite important.... do you intend to go onto higher education?

if you leave home, any job you find (if you actually get one) will pay a pittance. how are you going to fund "running away"? i would just stick it out at home.... it'll make you appreciate better living circumstances in the future

essentially what will benefit you most in the long run: staying put and going for college, or leaving home and going.... where exactly?
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#13
If you're that miserable then you'll only drive your family mental by staying another year.

I say get out of there, live a bit, then come crawling back all the cheerier for the experience.
#14
i think you should go ahead and go to b.c, if you're going to study there i guess it should be fine by them, plus that doesn't necessarily mean you have to lose communication with your parents.
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#15
If you have siblings, keep it together for their sake.

The way you put it, your dad sounds like he's being a pretty big douche, though you honestly haven't given any sort of reason why you don't like where you live now other than your parents.
#16
Originally posted by Assid rane
But you're Canadian and I don't know how you people in Canadia go about things. I didn't know you guys even had the internet. Or the wheel for that matter. Isn't it all jungly there?


wow, really? 'Canadia' thats funny
#17
If you are moving out in a year or so anyway then i would suggest:

Talk to your dad, and ask him what problems he is having with your mom, and if he honestly thinks that that extra year is gonna repair the relationship he has with your mom. If he honestly thinks that the year will bring htem together, then i think you should stay. But otherwise, tbh i would leave. If they are gonna divorce anyway, there is no point in you staying for a year, being miserable, and ultimately only prolonging the obviously unhappy relationship your parents already have, and it is unfair of your parents to ask you to do it anyway.
#18
i agree with matt360, if there's nothing for you in ontario than go to B.C. and see what it's like, but if you only have 1 more year until you can go off to uni/college than just wait it out.
#19
Quote by Assid Rane
I moved out of my parents place and into my grandparents some 2000 miles away
But you're Canadian and I don't know how you people in Canadia go about things. I didn't know you guys even had the internet. Or the wheel for that matter. Isn't it all jungly there?

fail
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#20
Quote by LedZeppelin9345
i'd stay at home until you go to college/uni - having somewhere to live and food are quite important.... do you intend to go onto higher education?

if you leave home, any job you find (if you actually get one) will pay a pittance. how are you going to fund "running away"? i would just stick it out at home.... it'll make you appreciate better living circumstances in the future

essentially what will benefit you most in the long run: staying put and going for college, or leaving home and going.... where exactly?


I have a place to go, I've been phoning people who live there and found a home. I'd be getting a job (already know numerous places I could) and probably working weekends to pay some rent.

I recently went out to B.C. and lived there for about 3 weeks and enjoyed it.

And to "Bloke" I think it was. My mother will probably in the end divorce my dad because really, this situation was completely caused by him, He alone decided to ship us out here, because HIS family lives here.

And reasons why I want to leave, I Hate the people here, I have a few good friends, but the general population here are a bunch of dumb rednecks assholes. I enjoyed living in B.C. I was there for 14 and a half years, and while it did have its ups and downs was much more enjoyable than the life I've had here.

My grades have also started falling since I got out here, and I honestly believe I could do better in school back where I am happy and comfortable then here.
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#21
TS, I'm in a similar situation. I got shipped to Ontario two years ago, expect I got shipped alone. I have to live with a landlord that sets bull**** rules. They then have the balls to say that they 'judge fairly' yet they do the same **** they say they don't want me to do. So I understand you when you say that you hate the place your in at the moment.

Move out. Do it. Staying a year won't help your parent's stay together. They had many years before them to stay together. Are you sure that you can support yourself financially though? Maybe start saving money in your bank account just incase? It really won't work out if you got cheque from your job and had no way to cash it in.

Have you planned this properly? What happens if you lose your job? Will your parent's really understand you and maybe be able to support you? Say moving out to B.C. in a year means your parents would still support you for university, would they do the same if you moved out earlier?

Oh wait. Sorry, just reread your post. If your mother is supporting you, and they're going to divorce eventually...


Then why not see if your mother would come with you to B.C. ? If it makes you feel anybetter, know that there's a UGer here with similar situations here rooting for you.
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#22
Quote by Toast1337
edit: you are not even 17

This is all I needed to see.
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#23
I am a born and raised Ontario..-ite? What city you livin' in? If you know for sure the job you'll get will be able to support you then I'd go for it. Though you do seem a little young.
#24
Quote by Cameronrobson
fail

No, he's right...but opposite of jungle. Arctic wasteland. Tundra is more like it. I actually live in a hallowed-out glacier and eat clubbed baby seals.

But if there's divorce in the mix, my fellow Canuck, you've got nothing to do with it. If you want to leave, just leave. Moving out was the best decision I ever made, i'm closer with my family (not geographically) now more than ever.
#25
Quote by JohnnyV
No, he's right...but opposite of jungle. Arctic wasteland. Tundra is more like it. I actually live in a hallowed-out glacier and eat clubbed baby seals.

That isn't a very good joke, even when it's not executed horribly.
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#27
Quote by Toast1337
try to have a great life

edit: you are not even 17


Late birthdays are extremely frustrating.

And thanks everyone for the serious replies, it means a lot seeing the pit can actually be mature about something .

And I live near a town called Lindsay, really I live in the middle of nowhere, but Lindsay is the closest town/city.
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#29
Quote by Cameronrobson
That isn't a very good joke, even when it's not executed horribly.

It's the only joke about Canada that is funny...with the exception of Newfie jokes

And TS, on my second thought, it may be easier to move when this school year is over? i would think so, cause then you can do it with all the time you have off.
#30
do what feels right bro, if your parents are gunna divorce anyway, you might as well leave, 1 year away from them is worth not having the 3 years of therapy later on......

just follow your heart man
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#31
If your family's relationship will be destroyed just because you're leaving then it probably means that it's very strained anyway. I'd go, it'd be selfish of them to hold you back claiming that you'd be the reason for their divorce. Go for it, be happy. If they aren't happy with you leaving then that's their problem, not yours. You don't have to cut off life from your family dude.. it's not like you'll never see them again or talk to them.
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#34
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#35
They cant blame the divorce on you leaving (did I read that right?).
Thats just stupid. If you leave and they get divorced its not because of you, but because they had a bad marriage. Dont feel any guilt about that if u choose to leave.
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#36
T.S. your parents relationship problems isn't your fault. Your mom and dad are probably just really hurt and misdirecting their anger to you.

Should you move? That can't be answered by us. Sorry.

If i may ask you a few personal questions.

Do you have other brothers and sisters?
When was the last time you and your family sat down and had a civil discussion?
Was this the first time your parents told you about the possible divorce?

When you say you were unhappy living there with your parents, why? Was it cause of there rules or is there something else?
#37
Quote by floppypick
For about 2 years now, I have woken up pretty much every morning feeling a hatred to this place, dreading the day ahead of me, so much that I'm now planning on moving to B.C. to live with a friend and his mom.

I moved to Ontario about 2 years ago, my dad decided he would get a job here and shipped our entire family across the country, where I've been hoping to leave since. and now I have the chance, a flight I can book and a house to live in.
Really dude? You know part of growing up means dealing with situations that aren't perfect. Try growing up before moving out.

Quote by floppypick
Last night I came home to a locked door, when I started to walk to the garage my dad came out and to keep it short said, leave now or don't leave at all, I decided to walk away, in the end I wound up back here after he picked me up. During the ride back home I was told my parents would probably end up getting divorced if I left (though it'll probably happen anyway). Neither of my parents want me to go, but my mom will help me no matter what I decide to do.
lol. your dad went power-play then caved. dumb.

your mom is silly. you're being a bit of a brat and she's encouraging this. not likely you'll learn to make wise decisions from her.

Quote by floppypick
So here I am, now knowing what to do, should I destroy my relationship with my family to live the life I have been wishing I had for 2 years now, or should I stay with my family, and live another year of ****ing hell.
Hell? Grow up kid. So what if everything isn't just-so. Make the best of it and stop being such a whiner.

It doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship with your family, so you wouldn't be destroying much. Maybe you should stay and work on that.

Quote by floppypick
And yes I realize this isn't the place to ask things like this, but there always is at least one good answer which makes all the childish answers worth it.
Yeah, there might be a few childish answers that will tell you what you want to hear, but at least you have this one. Maybe a few more from others. Who knows?
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#39
I'd say deal with it and stay with your parents for another year because thats the unselfish thing to do. Although, if your parents are in that bad a state where they can't live with each other anymore and the divorce would only make each happier, then you might want to consider going. this is something you got to analyze.
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#40
Quote by floppypick

Last night I came home to a locked door, when I started to walk to the garage my dad came out and to keep it short said, leave now or don't leave at all, I decided to walk away, in the end I wound up back here after he picked me up. During the ride back home I was told my parents would probably end up getting divorced if I left (though it'll probably happen anyway). Neither of my parents want me to go, but my mom will help me no matter what I decide to do.

It won't help your decision, but that's really, really shitty of them. Like, REALLY.

It depends on how important your family is to you, honestly. That's all I can offer. You might get some decent advice in certain, ah, specialized threads, though.

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