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#1



Of all genres of music, metal is unique because the line between "acceptable" and "total failure" is very narrow. Making metal is easy, but making good metal... difficult. Periodically, metal bands either sell out or have personal problems, and they create metal failures. Here's a list of ten of the worst metal FAILs of all time.

The most epic METAL FAILs of all time


I'm also going to go out on a limb and say that Massacre The Promise and Judas Priest Ram it Down should be on the list.
#2
Disagree with Cynic and Suffocation, otherwise pretty spot on. Souls To Deny was, musically, completely awesome, but Frank Mullen sounded so weak that I think that's where a lot of people are coming up with this "deathcore" garbage tag for them. Traced In Air is godlike, and if you don't like it it's probably because you're an idiot.
I miss Morbid, the metal forum sucks now
#4
nah, Divine Intervention was pretty cool imho.
The sound was a bit strange and it was different to the previous ablums, but that doesn't mean it's bad.
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#6
I damn right disagree with Black Album, that was the first ever album I listened to when I was 9, and I loved it, Love it, and always will love it.
#8
well i would think that instead of the black album it woulda been load by metallica or st anger
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#10
Quote by Eminored
According to this, you have bad tastes then.

Criticizing ANY metal will not end well online.

It's true, I mean, it is the Black and Death Metal Blog.
#11
Quote by Eminored
According to this, you have bad tastes then.

Criticizing ANY metal will not end well online.



Because: Your taste =/= everyone's taste.
Follow the smoke toward the riff filled land
brutal
#12
Anus? Yeah, whatever.
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#13
and Emperor. replace those three(emperor,Cynic and Suffocation) with Reroute to remain,Unspoken King and In torment in hell.
#14
There's lots of metal fail, and a good portion of these don't even come close to that.

Of course, a critic is just someone with an opinion who thinks that people actually give a **** about what they're saying so they write it down.
#15
Quote by Inimical

Of course, a critic is just someone with an opinion who thinks that people actually give a **** about what they're saying so they write it down.


This site seems to be a particularly bad example of this.
#16
Quote by raincoffin
This site seems to be a particularly bad example of this.

Anus, or UG?

Doesn't matter. Both are acceptable answers.
#17
Wow. I knew it was going to be Metallica at number one (because for some reason it's rather cool to dislike them now) but I was expecting St Anger. I was gearing up to defend it. That's right bitches, this user enjoys St Anger! I also like Supercharger and The Unspoken King. But not Cold Lake. Never Cold Lake.
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#18
Quote by Inimical
Anus, or UG?

Doesn't matter. Both are acceptable answers.


Anus.

Haven't read many or any UG reviews.
#19
The actually reviews may be a pile of ****e but pretty much every release with the ANUS seal of approval will be a worthy purchase.
Quote by ChemicalFire
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#20
TRACED IN AIR IS A ****ING AWESOME ALBUM
how dare you question its brilliance!

and it really should have been st anger at no 1 not the Black Album
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Last edited by heretic555666 at Aug 26, 2009,
#21
...How is the Unspoken King NOT number 1?

Also, I dont agree with Emperor, or Cynic. Should have replaced those with Clayman [or R2R], and... well, the Unspoken King.
#22
The first Cynic album was a ripoff of all jazz fusion and prog metal to date, sure, but it was a good ripoff so we don't care, even if they did use early autotune vocals. But the followup? It's a disorganized pile of derivative jazz riffs interrupted by banging, dumbed-down, mouth-breathing metal. Fail on both counts.


Whoever wrote this has no taste.
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#23
Quote by eazy-c
The actually reviews may be a pile of ****e but pretty much every release with the ANUS seal of approval will be a worthy purchase.

Sure, if your tastes match theirs.

Personally, I hate anything and everything Beherit has ever done but ANUS acts as though listening to their music is the equivalent of riding a unicorn while the band satisfies you sexually.

This is why I don't put any more stock into the opinion of a critic. Especially critics who are so arrogant.
#24
It'd be a waste of time to read it.

Let me guess, Emperor's fail is Prometheus? Pah, class album, as long as you aren't too cock-bent over the fact it isn't another Nightside.
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#25
Quote by Dyer's Eve
It'd be a waste of time to read it.

Let me guess, Emperor's fail is Prometheus? Pah, class album, as long as you aren't too cock-bent over the fact it isn't another Nightside.


Actually Equilibrium was their fail. Nonetheless....no. And Domination by Morbid Angel? Seriously? Compared to Heretic it's the best thing ever, and I don't even like Domination!
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#26
Y'know, for an ANUS article, it's actually mostly agreeable. Out of all the albums on that list I've heard (all except for God Cries and the Oh-bitch-uary album) the only ones I like are Traced In Air and Domination. Plus, the part about Cliff Burton rolling in his grave made me chuckle a bit.
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#27
Quote by linfield4466
Actually Equilibrium was their fail. Nonetheless....no. And Domination by Morbid Angel? Seriously? Compared to Heretic it's the best thing ever, and I don't even like Domination!

Really?

That's actually my favorite Emperor release.


And, no, I didn't read the list. The less ANUS in my life.
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#28
Suffocation created 'the style of blasting deathgrind'?

I'm off to create boiling thrashfuck. See, I can make shit up too!
#29
One thing I've always appreciated about ANUS is that they never engage in the sort of condescension that just drips from the writing of most metal sites. They respect their audience enough that they never feel the need to write down to them, as if they were morons or children. Most metal sites - and bands - could learn something from that respectfulness.
#30
Quote by webbtje
Suffocation created 'the style of blasting deathgrind'?

I'm off to create boiling thrashfuck. See, I can make shit up too!

Not before I set off to produce some throbbing blackpsyche.

*dons racing goggles*



OF I GO!!!!
Quote by Sein und Zeit
One thing I've always appreciated about ANUS is that they never engage in the sort of condescension that just drips from the writing of most metal sites. They respect their audience enough that they never feel the need to write down to them, as if they were morons or children. Most metal sites - and bands - could learn something from that respectfulness.

*adds to list of "People I Refuse to Take Seriously Until Further Notice*
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BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


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#31
*adds to list of "People I Refuse to Take Seriously Until Further Notice*

I think (hope) he was being sarcastic.
Quote by ChemicalFire
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Quote by GodofCheesecake
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darn kids and your meddling and your breakadowns!"

Quote by Nakedbythecomp
Metal is a sub-genre of metalcore since metalcore is more popular therefore better.
#32
Quote by Sein und Zeit
One thing I've always appreciated about ANUS is that they never engage in the sort of condescension that just drips from the writing of most metal sites. They respect their audience enough that they never feel the need to write down to them, as if they were morons or children. Most metal sites - and bands - could learn something from that respectfulness.

Yeah, because composing some superficial verbose bullshit in an attempt to establish its opinions of music as fact is real respectful.

Telling one's readers that their opinion is worthless, and that they are inferior, is substantially more condescending than other websites using simpler language (which I assume is what you refer to), which is hardly condescending in itself. It can be, I'm sure, for example, in the hands of the 'dumb' idiot, toting commercial metal bands, as well as non-metal bands as metal, etc.

Conversely, ANUS is mostly comprised of the 'smart' idiots, which frankly are probably worse than their 'dumb' brethren.


Simply could not resist pointing out the severe irony in the quoted post...
Last edited by Lappo at Aug 26, 2009,
#33
Quote by Monolith295
I think (hope) he was being sarcastic.

I don't know why, but I doubt it. But, at least I put "Until Further Notice". He has a chance at redemption.


But, yeah, I won't let this boil down to a ANUS-hate thread, like 99% of Conservationist's threads.

Well know it's not a great site, and 98% of us don't use it, and will never use it.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


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#34
Quote by fallenangel20
I don't know why, but I doubt it. But, at least I put "Until Further Notice". He has a chance at redemption.


But, yeah, I won't let this boil down to a ANUS-hate thread, like 99% of Conservationist's threads.

Well know it's not a great site, and 98% of us don't use it, and will never use it.

Go to the Cannibal Corpse thread and backtrack a few pages and it will no longer be 'until further notice'.
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#35
Quote by Sein und Zeit
One thing I've always appreciated about ANUS is that they never engage in the sort of condescension that just drips from the writing of most metal sites. They respect their audience enough that they never feel the need to write down to them, as if they were morons or children. Most metal sites - and bands - could learn something from that respectfulness.


Yep, they refuse to treat metalheads like morons, and instead offer them information written in the style granted to "respected" genres in society.

Imagine that: they treat metal like art and culture, and get sh1t for it from the unwashed masses. Brilliant. Metal is the most self-defeating genre imaginable.
#36
Imagine that: they treat metal like art and culture, and get sh1t for it from the unwashed masses. Brilliant. Metal is the most self-defeating genre imaginable.

Normally it's the bands who are unwashed.
Quote by ChemicalFire
He was too stunned by my fresh truths.

Quote by GodofCheesecake
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darn kids and your meddling and your breakadowns!"

Quote by Nakedbythecomp
Metal is a sub-genre of metalcore since metalcore is more popular therefore better.
#37
Quote by Lappo
Yeah, because composing some superficial verbose bullshit in an attempt to establish its opinions of music as fact is real respectful.


So, basically, you're saying that using reasonably complex language to describe fairly complex music is "superficial"? Really?

Telling one's readers that their opinion is worthless, and that they are inferior, is substantially more condescending than other websites using simpler language (which I assume is what you refer to), which is hardly condescending in itself.


Funny, I've yet to read an article or review at ANUS that does anything of the sort. Care to back this claim up with evidence, or is it just a matter of feeling dumb because you have no articulate response?
#38
Oh, I don't know, the 'Every Album/Band on This Site Is Gold; The Ones That Aren't Are Shit' mentality that pervades every corner of ANUS?

The link in the opening post of this very thread?

Funny how quickly you resorted to ad-hominem attacks.
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