#1
Status Check


Can you hear me?
I'm calling your name
But get no response
Can you see me?
I'm standing right here
And you just blankly stare
Can you feel me?
I'm shaking you hard
And your still as a rock
Can you love me?
I'm coming to close
Maybe i should back off


This is a status check
Will you respond
I'm tired of waiting
This has gone on too long
This is an emergency
Without an alarm
We'll sit here forever
And never move on


Can you read?
I've sent a hundred letters
Without a reply
Can you breathe?
You're perfectly still
And deathly quiet
Can you speak?
I'm sick of the silence
Between you and me
Can you answer?
One of these questions
Before I go


This is a status check
Will you respond
I'm tired of waiting
This has gone on too long
This is an emergency
Without an alarm
We'll sit here forever
And never move on

This is a status check
Before I neglect
To tell you just what's
On my mind
#2
minor correction its deadly still not tdeathly other than that pretty good, 2nd verse deviated form the rhythm abit, which i usually prefer but i feel this would do better stuck to a constant pattern in teh verses

other than that its pretty good, onyl other thing i found was i recognised it from somewhere, the pattern of can you *** ect

i dont know where i recall something like "do you like that, do you like that" form the song it reminds me of..

google it and found the song, our lady peace - do you like IT not that yeah the rhythm is the same as that song,


EDIT: i dont know why there's two identical posts but the second one wont go away, ive deleted it three times


EDIT2: fix'd
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Last edited by bananahammock at Aug 26, 2009,