#1
Just about every song I write ends up on this forum at some point or another, so I think it's safe to say I value UG's opinion of my music pretty highly.

I'm leaving for college in 5 days, and I figured I'd record one more song before I lose access to the little studio I've been building for myself in my basement (at least for a few months). I took a simple poem I'd written and decided to set it to simple music. Unfortunately, simple isn't something I'm good at.

Basically, I want the song to be made up of seven verses, all with the same melody and chord progression; I'll keep things interesting by changing the music drastically as the song progresses. The little bit that I've uploaded starts off as electronica and ends with an acoustic guitar, so yeah.

But now I'm stuck. I'm used to writing in a completely free-form way, where I can take a song wherever my imagination goes, but this seven-verse structure prevents that. It took me two days of work to make the electronic part transition into some sort of folksy rock thing, and I'm still not totally satisfied.

So I guess what I'm asking is this: is this song worth continuing? Should I abandon it?
It's called Telephone, and it's on my profile.

Thanks.

PS Please don't be nice. I hold myself to high standards; I don't need any facetious praise. I want to know your honest opinions.

PPS My vocals suck. I know that. If I finish this song, I'll have someone else record them. For now, please try to ignore them.
#2
I like it! Only 2 small critiques things...1) the intro sounds really "midi" like...2) the abrupt ending.

I liked that it sounds pretty original and think your lyrics are pretty darn good, fitting the style of the tune very well.