#1
Latest original I have written for my band, any and all feedback is very much appreciated. First thing I've posted on the forums too, let me know what you think and I'll put some more tunes up

And of course, crit 4 crit.
Attachments:
To Forgive Is No Longer My Business.zip
#2
**** yea

Love the intro riff, the splash totally adds to it (drums)

Verse 1, good stuff, the drums here sound really cool even though I've heard that double bass everywhere in metal.

Not a big fan of the pre chorus riff, still better than most (bar 22 for example)

Chorus was cool too, reminds me of metalcore.

Bar 27, I'm a sucker for breakdowns, sounds ****ing awesome. The bass post chorus w/ the breakdown riff = killer


I love the intro riff, can't get enough of it, Lamb of God meets death metal.

Bar 76, chaos, love it!

Outro was sick and epic just like it said in guitar pro haha, love the overdubbed lead.

I haven't heard a good song like this in a while, guitar pro or mp3, will you be recording this soon? I can hear the vocals in my head when I listen to this song, sounds sick.

The mini acoustic break in the outro, class my friend.

You know how to compose, theres nothing here that needs changing or tinkering. My only suggestion is making the bar at 76 harmonized but with more dissonance in it (3 frets over rule), just a thought.

10 out of ****ing 10, good job and keep it up!

crit my latest? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1191342
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Last edited by cptazad at Aug 29, 2009,
#4
thanks for the crits boys... i gotta get to recording this pretty quick here I'll let you know whatsup. As for the riff at 76, i've never really tinkered much with harmonies and ****, just standard kinda stuff. What would be a good harmony? I normally just roll with diminished, fifths or an octave higher.

you live in vancouver eh? im a couple hours north in Prince George.. you play in a band down there?
#5
Quote by Faceless_khaos
thanks for the crits boys... i gotta get to recording this pretty quick here I'll let you know whatsup. As for the riff at 76, i've never really tinkered much with harmonies and ****, just standard kinda stuff. What would be a good harmony? I normally just roll with diminished, fifths or an octave higher.

you live in vancouver eh? im a couple hours north in Prince George.. you play in a band down there?


That I do, recently formed a band with close friends, name is Xenocide.

Haha, I know what you're going to say, and no, it was not influenced by the Faceless.

If you want I can send you over some gp5's of our songs in progress, I'd like an outsider to listen to them and give me some feedback.

edit: if you ever come down to the lower mainland, give me a shout, we'll jam. We're playing a small show on Sept 11th, once we've ripped the audio from the video (they're recording it) I'll put up an mp3 of our performance.

Till then
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Last edited by cptazad at Aug 29, 2009,
#6
Dude this was brutal!
Intro was awesome instantly headbanging
pre chrous equally insane
Chorus was a little hard to follow but I liked it
The Outro was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed, no joke
10/10
Last edited by xxmh at Aug 30, 2009,
#7
I really loved the intro. very lamb of god meets death metal. Groove in abundance.

Bar 24 sounds sick, insane whatever adjective you wanna use. Very apocalpytic sounding.

Bar 35, going back into the intro riff sounded a tad awkward, but not at all close to being out of place.

Bar 48, is okay to me nothing mindblowing.

Again bar 60 sounds heavy as all hell. Like the bass running through the song.

Bar 76 sounds nice, maybe a lil rushed.
This whole part doesn't sound to amazing, compared to the amazing bar 60 and bar 24.

Wow bar 110 and on is classic mindmelting harmonies and dissonance layed on top of each other. Honestly I would love to hear that fully recorded. It sounds amazing. Amazing.

8/10 overall, the EXTREMELY strong parts make the average parts stand out.
#9
soooo good loved every moment of it
not sure which song I like more of urs they are both ****ing sic
you have a real songwritting talent
whats ur bands name and do you have a myspace or anything for it?
Dig a tunnel of light through ignorant walls
#10
Quote by Faceless_khaos
Latest original I have written for my band, any and all feedback is very much appreciated. First thing I've posted on the forums too, let me know what you think and I'll put some more tunes up

And of course, crit 4 crit.



I really enjoy it, it sound like epic deathcore bands like born of osiris, winds of plague... i don't know if you know them!
#11
well i'm not sure i'd call it death metal dude...it certainly has some deathy elements but sounds pretty melodic death/core to me. Sounds so much like Viatrophy man...I mean a DICKLOAD like Viatrophy.

sounds good nonetheless. I have no particular criticism except lose the metalcore bits like the prechorus...sounds like **** compared to the rest of the song. The outro is interesting, but just sounds like born of osiris and winds of plague like that other dude said. Nothing out of the ordinary but it sounds good.

lose the 'core bits and you have yourself a catchy song which will hit relative success while not pissing off the elitists too much lol.

i.e. lose the core.
#12
Thats really good man! The beginning sounds a bit generic but the pre-chorus riff is good. The bass break is very creative ;D and the pre-chorus after that is very nice. Really like the solo. Especially at 134 and the acoustic break after it is good!

Overall its a really good song man! Excellent job

If you could, I'd really like some feedback on my deathcore bands' EP. It would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1188169