#1
Distrust and Disgust


I’ve been missing your presence
From all around me
Though we haven’t spoken
Since last you found me
I feel like your lawyer
But your just a hopeless case
I try to defend you
But it seems you spit in my face time and again
That Jefferson was your last chance
To prove yourself to me but then
You failed your test and I’m not surprised at all my friend

The letters I sent
When they locked you up and threw away the key
Were from the heart
And I feel your replies picking at me
You could’ve told the truth
But you lied just to see things go your way
I can feel the anger
Coming from deep inside of me

Your actions do not show
So the things you say make you look like ****
My brain is about to blow
You would say I’m being overdramatic
But you know you’re the one
That’s acting in this situation
So from here us two are done
I don’t want you in my final equation

The letters I sent
When they locked you up and threw away the key
Were from the heart
And I feel your replies picking at me
You could’ve told the truth
But you lied to see things go your way
I can feel the anger
Coming from deep inside of me

I feel the mud on my face
I should’ve believed everyone else
But I gave you my faith
And you threw it away like a dusty old couch
#2
Quote by MJS420WD
Distrust and Disgust


I’ve been missing your presence
From all around me
Though we haven’t spoken
Since last you found me
I like this so far.
I feel like your lawyer
But your just a hopeless case
Not bad...
I try to defend you
But it seems you spit in my face time and again
I think this would be better as: "But it seems you always spit in my face" because it's a good rhyme and flows better.
That Jefferson was your last chance
To prove yourself to me but then
You failed your test and I’m not surprised at all my friend
I really liked this verse, apart from what I wrote.

The letters I sent
When they locked you up and threw away the key
Were from the heart
And I feel your replies picking at me
You could’ve told the truth
But you lied just to see things go your way
I can feel the anger
Coming from deep inside of me
I don't like the last line so much at all. Everything else is fine. Nothing great, but fine. But the last line needs to be changed.

Your actions do not show
So the things you say make you look like ****
My brain is about to blow
I don't like this phrase. It's not so great. I'd like it more if it were changed.
You would say I’m being overdramatic
But you know you’re the one
That’s acting in this situation
So from here us two are done
Should be "we two"
I don’t want you in my final equation
I like the last line, and the whole thing, rather a lot.

The letters I sent
When they locked you up and threw away the key
Were from the heart
And I feel your replies picking at me
You could’ve told the truth
But you lied to see things go your way
I can feel the anger
Coming from deep inside of me

I feel the mud on my face
I should’ve believed everyone else
But I gave you my faith
And you threw it away like a dusty old couch


Strong piece. it needs revision, but it has a lot of potential.

C4C please: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1191690