#1
Hello, everyone! This is as of yet, unfinished. Any thoughts or criticisms would be appreciated. Oh, and the part I have not yet written is the conclusion.


Individual Assimilation

I feel the iron shackles,
My mind fettered to the ground.
Vitality lost,
color fading,
Decrepit soul drifting without sound.

Oh, I was perfection
Among the vastness of complacency.
And I knew
Yet didn’t fear
The infernal monster dubbed society.

But while the mind feels quite sheltered,
Only a grey-colored organ
Protects a free mind,
A free soul
From society’s gorgon.

This accursed monster, the chthonic medusa
Rising up yet again.
But instead of serpents,
Her loyal minions
Are the savages called men.

A single gaze from this new medusa
And I was forced into acquiescence.
A single word spoken by her non-thinking slaves
Now I live under a false pretense.
Gear:

St. Blues Bluesmaster IV
Vox AC4- ah-mazing lil amp
Roland Micro Cube- 1st amp... pretty crappy
a whole lotta picks

Am I the only one who has WON
THE GAME?

Last edited by happa95 at Aug 30, 2009,
#3
You change structure. Not a bad thing though.

This was excellent. I really have no crits, I just want more!

SO if you could crit mine, even though I didn't really crit yours....