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#1
So I was in Wal-Mart the other day, getting a gate n shit for my new puppy. I'm going to the check-out counter, great, finally my puppy can't shit in my room anymore! Then, a great, and horrible thing happens.

The love of my life is there, looking at posters, and I was unsure whether I should talk to her. Then, I reached inside my pants, and my penis said "DO IT, ******". and so I did. I walk up to her, shaking already. A thought goes through my head that this can't end well. So, I pussy out, and turn back.

Then, she calls out my name. I've been seen. Shit. Sweet. I sweat, and turn around. "Oh, hi, I didn't see you here!" she says, and now I know this is set in stone. We exchange further interactions, then in her typical fashion, she goes, "Aww, I love your hair, it's so curly!" and this is where the story goes down the shitter.

She moves closer, and I can smell her sweet perfume cascading over me. Growing ever closer, I feel her warmth and a sense of togetherness. I know only contact could bring is further together, and then that bond is formed.

She puts her fingers in my hair, nail polish dried perfectly as not to flake, or ruin the moment. Every cell in my body is tingling, it is a perfect moment of togetherness. Then, the contact peaks, and, ****.

I jizzed in my pants. For the first time in my life. I jizzed in my fucking pants. Just from her feeling my hair. I don't know what happened, but I'm kind of glad it was over quick. We exchanged goodbyes, and I knew that what happened was special. I also knew I had to change my pants. Ah, so is life.

TL;DR: Saw a girl at Wal-Mart, she started feeling me up, I jizzed in my pants.


Shit, I'm so pathetic.

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none
#2
3/10
RIFT.CANYON.DREAMS.


Quote by Oroborous
I'm trying to cover one of my bedroom walls in semen. I'm about half way done.

Pics coming soon
#3



...
"Most people are trying to simplify the world. We're definitely here to complicate it." - Dad
Quote by RocksAwakening5
I you for posting this.

<-- Pretty much sums me up

8/7/09


^ I was there
#5
You're going to be a big disappointment for some unlucky lady some day.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#7
Iloveyou.
Music.

PSN: JSniper-
Add me, and say you're from UG.

And yeah, I did make that name up when I was 13.
#13
i guess you can say that was a sticky situation.
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages
#15
It wasn't like a full, heart-stopping load, but it was enough for me to adjust my man garments.

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none
#17
Pics or it didn't happen. Seriously.


Quote by CoreysMonster

I still like cho0onger more than the 2 of you

Quote by OneHappyCamper
joke's on you, i actually fuck my cat
#19
surly you could have seen this coming?

/okdoneforrealsnow
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages
#20
Quote by cho0onger
Pics or it didn't happen. Seriously.

this!
Call me Sean
Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
He's just trying to protect our innocence.


Yes i am
Quote by :Vicious--

Your flirting powers are incredible.



Gear:
Schecter S1 Elite Black Cherry (Soapbar Neck, Invader Bridge)
Schecter Banshee
Orange Dual Terror
Boss CE-5
Goatkeeper
#21
well, now you can join the Minute Militia.

hehe


Quote by Nakon14




Gear:
Epiphone Les Paul Studio
Crate GTD65
Vox DA5
#22
Quote by Daftendire
i guess you can say that was a sticky situation.


zing
My You'll be the Baddest Dude in Revere!


My Gear:
-Fender Mexican Stratocaster
-Silvertone Paul Stanley Signature Acoustic
-Fender Princeton 65w
-DOD Death Metal
#26
Quote by Daftendire
surly you could have seen this coming?

/okdoneforrealsnow

Those puns are great
last.fm
Quote by rockhard182
*opens happytimeharrys head* *finds nothing*

what a ripoff

Member #18 of the "Claudio Sanchez is God" Club. PM stepco12345 to join!
#29
Did she know you did?

That would've been awesome. Especially if you both dropped your pants. You'd be arrested for indecent exposure and then i'd laugh.
#30
Quote by coryklok

dang it! beat me to it
In speed versus emotional playing, i think of an M16 versus an M24. You can have 650 rounds per minute, or one round, one kill. Both should be in your arsenal.

PSN and XBL: xxWONDERxxBOYxx
Leave a message that you're from UG with your username
#31
Holy Dang........

I want to meet this girl, BADLY.
Schecter Tempest Custom
Squier Jagmaster
Epiphone Les Paul Jr. (Modified)
Crafter D-8

DOD FX50-B > EHX Little Big Muff > Digitech Whammy 4 >
Dunlop Cry Baby > Zoom G3 > Boss DD-7 > Digitech Digiverb

Orange OR-15
Marshall Valvestate VS100
#33
So I guess you might say you ejaculated while still fully clothed?

am I right guise?
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#34
>.>

I know the feeling
UG POKER!
Quote by WyvernOmega

TL;DR: Saw a girl at Wal-Mart, she started feeling me up, I jizzed in my pants.

Shit, I'm so pathetic.

[quote="'[BurnTheDusk"]']I agree, tone does sound better the closer your genitals are to the ground.

Crabcore?

UNACCEPTABLE
#35
So I guess you might say you ejaculated while still fully clothed?

am I right guise?
You're right but you fail at italics

edit: you fixed it
last.fm
Quote by rockhard182
*opens happytimeharrys head* *finds nothing*

what a ripoff

Member #18 of the "Claudio Sanchez is God" Club. PM stepco12345 to join!
#36
You got me, I didn't see that cumming at all.
all I ever wanted was to pick apart the day
put the pieces back together my way
#39
note to yourself - rub one out before going to walmart
My Guitars:
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Epiphone AJ
Ibanez Strat Copy

Amps:
Orange Tiny Terror Head
Old beaten up Peavey cab
Marshall MG30DFX
#40
Quote by whalepudding
So I guess you might say you ejaculated while still fully clothed?

am I right guise?


He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages