#1
So you're running around listening to the wrong organ,
and taking advice again, from the wrong shoulder,
Off on your way to the wrong part of town,
to where the faces always seem a bit colder,

You say the ugly faces on the bridges hold you back,
You never quite have the courage to get a bit meaner,
And they're all just the trees in front of your forest,
Where you seem to think the grass is all the more greener,

You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,

So you're running around looking for the punching bag,
thinking with nothing but the chip on your shoulder,
The more you think about it, the more it gets older,
the more you think about it, you get all the more bolder,

You say the ugly faces on the brides turned you 'round,
You never quite have the courage to get what's yours,
You've caught yourself window shopping again,
becuase you have no idea what they've got in store,

You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,

So you're running back to me all the while screaming,
I've got to do something about the trouble's you're feeling,
Those cold stares cast you back to the bottom,
and now your downfall has to become my problem,

I've got no interest in fighting your battles,
Especially the two worlds your hope straddles,
You don't have a solution in mind, but I just might,
Next time, choose the battles you're able to fight.

You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,
No, You're not fat enough for the kill,


Kinda threw a spin on the old fairy tale.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#2
It was interesting, but I felt that your desire to stay in 4 slot stanzas really held you back. A lot of your character/story development felt choppy because everytime you got something going you'd jump out of it to the next stanza. Also because of this style, this felt very repetitive, as if we were spinning our wheels with you. Each time you'd come back to the character there was just a minuscule change in character and then you'd carry out the whole analysis again... which ran bland by the third time through.

I don't know what fairy tale you are referencing... but I just felt like this piece never got its feet on the ground and running in the right direction. Anytime it started to take off, you would halt it for a stanza break... and that killed any strength the piece could have garnered.

Cheers,

zC