#1
Hey.
my band has been gettin alot of criticism of late so i though id write a song to hit back out to the criticisers. Please comment on advice/crit./tips. C4c if yu would like??

Verse-
The show starts right now
so stand up, applause and take a bow
yanno we expected the envious ways
weve had enought, its just a craze.

Chorus-
(open your eyes) You're the wrong one!
(we are the wise) You're the wrong one!
(we will never demise) You're the wrong one!
(we can open eyes) You're the wrong one!

Verse-
The only conclusion we can make
is jealousy, you just wanted a stake


Thats all i have so far i will add more up as i get it
hope you enjoy.
Thanks in advance
x
#4
There are billions, and I mean BILLIONS, of terrible pseudo-emotive songs floating around, just like this.

You're just adding to the assmatter
#5
take that away though. wa do you think of the actual lyrics. how can i make it better
#6
Although you do seem to be a decent writer, I have to agree with Stisan. Songs like this really only end up as more fodder for the haters to eat right up, and yours is no more original than any of the other crappy songs just like this.

In my honest opinion, I think you're better off scrapping this horribly cliche song; focus more on your fans and what they want to hear, and less on the haters and what they aren't going to give a rat's ass about anyway.

A better way to lash out at the haters is simply to keep rocking and building your fan base. And if you really need a more offensive approach, feel free to make a generic "**** you" speech at a live show, or possibly start a fist fight with any hecklers.
#8
Understandable. Everyone runs into writer's block eventually, man. My advice for that is to try collaborating with someone else, or perhaps take a break from writing and just edit other people's work. That's what I did to get through my writer's block.

Good luck!