#1
An epic 11.30 minute song. Features acoustic parts, seven stringed guitar riffs, drums, part of the vocals, heavy riffs, catchy melodies. Hope you enjoy.

Any critique is welcomed. Negative criticism is expected (please be kind)

I might upload the lyrics too if people would like to understand the song a bit better.

P.s. Yes I can play the song fully, this isn't just something I did on guitar pro. Thanks.
Attachments:
09 - Blackened ruins.zip
#2
The intro it's very nice, but a lot repetitive, but i think it'll be very good if you put in some parts effects like phaser, flanger, chorus or vibrato.
From bar 203 to ... it's very good, perfect, nothing lacks and the riffs fit perfectly, i like a lot the legato part with the harmonizations.
Good: Good Song very structured
Bad: The song look in some parts repetitive and too long
Anyway 7/10 (Using the rule: "8 is a tout le monde" )
R.I.P.
Chuck Schuldiner 1967-2001
Ronnie James Padavona 1942-2010
Darrell Lance Abbott 1966-2004
Jon Nödtveidt 1975-2006
Per Yngve Ohlin 1969-1991
Øystein Aarseth 1968-1993
Joe Ptaceck 1973-2010
Ace Börje Thomas Forsberg 1966-2004
#3
and it can be 7,5 or more if you correct the repetitions and the longness
R.I.P.
Chuck Schuldiner 1967-2001
Ronnie James Padavona 1942-2010
Darrell Lance Abbott 1966-2004
Jon Nödtveidt 1975-2006
Per Yngve Ohlin 1969-1991
Øystein Aarseth 1968-1993
Joe Ptaceck 1973-2010
Ace Börje Thomas Forsberg 1966-2004
#4
Thank you very much for your crit... The reason for the repetition is to allow more time for the vocals to evolve. Perhaps I will shorten it... Thanks very much for your criticism
#5
Intro: I dont see why you use a 4/4 time. Nothing wrong with the chord progression other than that, but it gets boring after 60 bars.

Solo: Nice feel, but you should use more legato techniques, bends and vibrato, imo it would fit the backing rythm better.

Liked the part starting at bar 113, especially the harmonized part. You needto adjust the balance though.

The chord progression starting at bar 163 was great, the last and first notes blended over perfectly.

The Metal part up to bar 234 was really cool but how the hell did you not notice that you have to adjust the balance?

All in all the song has to be shortened. The riffs itself are cool but the 10min are not worth it if you know what I mean. 7.5/10 because of it's lenght (in a bad way)
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
#6
Quote by thorbor
Intro: I dont see why you use a 4/4 time. Nothing wrong with the chord progression other than that, but it gets boring after 60 bars.

Solo: Nice feel, but you should use more legato techniques, bends and vibrato, imo it would fit the backing rythm better.

Liked the part starting at bar 113, especially the harmonized part. You needto adjust the balance though.

The chord progression starting at bar 163 was great, the last and first notes blended over perfectly.

The Metal part up to bar 234 was really cool but how the hell did you not notice that you have to adjust the balance?

All in all the song has to be shortened. The riffs itself are cool but the 10min are not worth it if you know what I mean. 7.5/10 because of it's lenght (in a bad way)


Wow I never even noticed I could use 3/4 time... Thanks so much for that

The solo is basically a quick thing I did... The solo I do in real life is much more complex... Sorry for the laziness of the solo

Sorry for my stupidity but could you please what you mean by balance?

And I'll make sure to shorten it. Thanks for being brutally honest, it's what I wanted
#7
The only problem I have with this, is the repetition.

I like the change at bar 112 that is epic.
Then it gets a bit repetitive again
Again, dig the change at 195
Shorten it and fix the repetitiveness

Right now I'd give it a 6/10
#8
The chord progression for the intro gets quite tiring after 60+ measures, but I absolutely love the solo section.

I also really like the fast second solo part.
Instruments:
1972 Fender Telecaster Thinline Semi-Hollow Reissue
Epiphone SG Special II
Squire Affinity P Bass
Squire Fretless Jazz Bass
Pirles Banjo
#9
Title: Blackened Ruins, huh? I like that. It brings an interesting mystique to it.

Intro: In my ears, way too long. And I'm generally patient (I listen to a lot of long prog epics). Make a little less repetive, and it'll be allright.

Lyrics: I don't know. Power-like vocal melodies and lyrics isn't my cup of tea, so don't expect any fair objectivity from me. But I don't really mind lyrics either

Solo: NICE. bar 81: Beautiful! I've got no complaints. Keep it as it is

Bar 113 ->: Now the epic feel is coming along. I like where this is going.

151: A very good ending to the speedy part

163-194: Epic, indeed. But way too long. It kinda looses a good momentum.

195-234: I just love that riffing. Very original.


Guitar work: Obviously the strong side of the song

Drum work: A bit.. Standard? Maybe you should try to make a little more out of it? You sure got potential!

Bass work: Hum. No bass? I miss a bass

All in all: A good song, with its flaws, and since it's an epic, I've got to reward to according to that. 8/10.
#10
That was prtty sweet dude Perhaps cut down the time,I can't really think of much else to say that aint alredy been said
#11
You didn't have to crit everything in the thread, you know . Could you export it to GP4?
#12
Sounds really neat!
But like everyone said, it's really repetative. I guess you could shorten it by quite a bit for the impatient listener! It also has the feeling of The Crusade by Trivium 'till about bar 170, and that's not meant to be offensive!
#13
The intro was such a killer, if that's what you call it. Maybe that same chord progression three times, but omg one hundred and a half? Sorry but even mixing new stuff wasn't enough to fix that. Can't even hear the studio guitar, had to turn it up and the others down myself, fix that too. The solo is absolutely OKAY, but you have to mix some other guitar in there as well, or it would be very tasteless. It seems like, a really good way to waste time now. It gets okay at 100-something. 112 is where it gets good in my opinion. 123 screws it up, sorry but it's pretty bad right there. 2nd solo...? wtf? 163 sounds like a ballad I've heard before, but not too awful much, but it does seem super generic. 203 seems major metallica influenced. Most of the stuff after 150 or so seems very very VERY empty. 236 is pretty awesome. At 243, I would have killed the riff, dont go back for the repeat, you messed up the dimensional feel of the song. Riffs are good, but dont drive them to dirt. 246 is a deadly combo of *ick* and *yuck* I dislike the chord progression it reminds me of a pirate coming to shore to get his gold. 264 back to genericity. 284, return of the chords at the start, it would've prolly been okay, but you drove it into a creek earlier, so not so much. 325 on was kinda lame big time.

Maybe it just isnt' my type of song or something, about 2 things sounded decent out of 11 minutes... 3/10 and that's only because of the 2 good parts, I'm sorry, but this isn't something you would find in my collection. I'm not trying to be a hater or nothing, but try again.
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
#14
The above poster is clearly an idiot and doesn't understand the song... I can clearly see where vocals are meant to come in and with the inclusion of a second solo the poster could stop the generity... Stop being so stupid
#15
Quote by leotus
The above poster is clearly an idiot and doesn't understand the song... I can clearly see where vocals are meant to come in and with the inclusion of a second solo the poster could stop the generity... Stop being so stupid

I'm an idiot? Generity isn't even a word. I can understand the song, it repeats just as much as you apparently have repeated first grade English. The song is incomplete, he has a second solo labeled, without a solo, I critiqued what he had, that is what he asked for. Just because someone doesn't give a 10/10 on everything doesn't mean they're an idiot, you are clearly still immature, trying to troll, it won't work, I gave him my honest opinion.

Good day, grow up.
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
#16
Haha you just got trolled... Thanks for giving me what I wanted you failure
#17
Quote by leotus
Haha you just got trolled... Thanks for giving me what I wanted you failure

Lol Failure?
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
#20
I was not arguing, I chose to discontinue arguing, because I'd rather not be banned for such a foolish reason. Here you go.
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
Last edited by defiance64 at Sep 5, 2009,
#21
Quote by defiance64
I was not arguing, I chose to discontinue arguing, because I'd rather not be banned for such a foolish reason. Here you go.


It's okay. You win because you wrote "The Cat's First Meow".
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#22
So far, I love it, but the loop at 101 is unnecessary; it's already repeated enough, just cut that part out. I feel the same way about when it goes to the acoustic part at 283; in my opinion, it should just skip ahead to the distortion part.
There's a reason I'm only talking about the placement and such; the writing itself, I loved. You make great use of harmonizing guitars, and make bass completely unnecessary; 9/10.