#1
This is a song i've been working on for a while but its still in progress. I want to know what do you guys think about it. C4C
Attachments:
upon myself.gp5 demo 2.gp5
Last edited by alexcp94 at Sep 2, 2009,
#2
Alright for a start - keep it going but add some variation!

For example, the common chord progression you got going there; don't repeat it. I sued to do that all the time when I was new to writing, just try and change between riffs/chord progressions. On top of that you could emphasise the syncopated rhythm part by making it more prominent like bass playing chords at those parts (rough idea) etc.

The part where the lead plays higher parts is good but a few notes seemed to clash a bit much. I can't pinpoint from first listen . Good melody, just recheck the notes that cause a bit of dissonance .

Y'ever need help with adding a drum track - just ask and I'll respond as soon as I can.
#3
Quote by salamander121
Alright for a start - keep it going but add some variation!

For example, the common chord progression you got going there; don't repeat it. I sued to do that all the time when I was new to writing, just try and change between riffs/chord progressions. On top of that you could emphasise the syncopated rhythm part by making it more prominent like bass playing chords at those parts (rough idea) etc.

The part where the lead plays higher parts is good but a few notes seemed to clash a bit much. I can't pinpoint from first listen . Good melody, just recheck the notes that cause a bit of dissonance .

Y'ever need help with adding a drum track - just ask and I'll respond as soon as I can.


Ok, thanks a lot man. What part exactly are you talking about that has a bit of dissonance and clashes?

btw, i just checked it and i dont find the dissonance, the lead guitar chords that are being played over the rhythm guitar are all fifths and sometimes sixths but thats it, and i just figured out a nice melody that could also be a vocal melody over the chord progression the rhythm guitar does.

And what syncopated part are you talking about?
Last edited by alexcp94 at Sep 3, 2009,
#4
I like what you've got, it's definitely a good start. Some variation to your riffs would definitely help. Some fills, pauses, a couple 16ths here and there could definitely go a long way.

The only part that I didn't like was 21-28. At first I thought it was dissonance like salamander said, but like you said it's mostly fifths. I'm not going to spend too much time analyzing it, but if I were to guess what I think is happening is the moving bass line combined with the lead guitar is actually shifting the chords into something other than what they're supposed to be.

So like bar 25, which is the worst offender. You've got your rhythm guitar playing A5, you're bass starts on F, and your lead is F as well. What that means is instead of hearing an A chord with a melody over top, we're actually hearing an FMaj7 chord, played in a very unpleasant manner, and then when the bass stars moving in beats 3 and 4 is going to some other weird chord.

But anyway, for whatever reason in that section of the song the chords aren't being properly established, so it sounds strange and dissonant. Maybe have the bass spend a little more time on the root. Maybe even have the 3rd in there occasionally.

Anyway. Keep working on it. With a good drum track and a strong vocal melody this definitely has potential.

C4C? Links in sig
#7
I liked it, you need to improve it more but is a good start, keep it going.

Good luck.