#1
Pretty generic, but I think it's pulled off well.

Not too sure about the dissonant breakdown. Give me your opinions people.

Thanks gaiz, C4C if I have time
<3


EDIT: Oh, it's kind of unfinished.. I'm not ending the song like that, dun werry gaiz.

UPDATE: ADDED EPIC OUTRO, SOME SMALL CHANGES.
Attachments:
corecore.zip
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
Last edited by AngrySockMonkey at Sep 5, 2009,
#2
I liked the intro. The melody in the second bar was nice.

A - It was alright it felt a little to generic for me, like i heard it somewhere else.

B - I really liked the feel in this, it had a cool rhythm.

? - I guess that was a breakdown thing?? lol idk it was cool.

Solo - It was pretty cool i like how you rang it out and the other guitar played over it.

D - was cool it lead into the breakdown.

E - I wasn't really liking the dissonance in it but, It may fit.

G - Unexpected! lol i liked it a lot though lol

H - Pretty cool moshing part, i could see a lot of people liking that and flying around in the pit.

Pretty good over all 7.5/10
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#3
Hey man, thanks for the crit on Rip in Time.

A/intro - Meh, its ok. I like the octaves though

B - Liked this part, pretty generic metalcore but it had a nice flow to it.

? (bar 35) - fav. out of the song so far, metalcore breakdowns haha, what can I say, I'm a sucker for breakdowns when pulled off good. It needs work but its a breakdown.

The solo was pretty good my friend, its nicely paced and I love what you did w/ bar 51 onwards w/ the notes ringing out and the 2nd lead coming in, sweet!

Bar 83, loving this part w/ the bassline and double bass. Definitely a highlight for me.

The actual breakdown I didn't like as much as the first one (pre solo).

G - haha, so generic! Reminds me a lot of all shall perish (especially bar 126).

H - can't say I liked it too much but then again I don't listen to metalcore (anymore), when the double bass comes in though I can see a huge group of ppl moshing so kudos for that.

Overall its a very mundane generic metalcore song but its got some catchy hooks to it, 6/10 overall but I'd give this a nice 8.5/10 for a metalcore song.
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#4
UPDATE! Added epic outro and made some small changes!

kyledm, anything I can crit?
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#5
Critting as I listen.
Intro is alright, nothing special, but it works. I like the drums. You did a good job with the drums. The guitar riff is good too. B is a really cool riff, I like that! Next part (?) is ok, it's just a bit boring. Solo sounds good. I like how E comes in. E itself is really cool as well. There's a lot going on in here, not just the breakdown, which makes it very interesting to listen to. Honestly, I like the breakdown at G, just not the transition into it. The transition into H was really weird, idk just in my opinion. It's a cool section though. Again, the transition into B was kinda weird. I think the main thing that could use work on is the transitions into certain parts. Outro was cool, I liked it. Overall, it was very interesting. Just those transitions. Very good song though! 7.5/10

c4c either one works
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1194560
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1194986
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Any chick that can dance with a walrus to Michael Jackson songs is hot in my book.
#6
I was away for a week.. and I just updated. So I'm bumping this in case I can get a few more crits . Get back to you when school allows me !
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#8
Remove the breakdown and you have yourself a pretty nice song. Wasn't a fan of B btw. Felt it to be too same-ish and simplistic.

Aside from that, nice song!

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1198062
Mah Rig
Guitars:
BC Rich Mockingbird (X2N)
Schecter Hellraiser (81/85)

Amps:
Peavey 5150 head (Distortion obv)
Avatar 4x12 cab (V30s)
Vox AC30 (Cleans)

Board:
EH Small Clone
ZW Sig Wah (meh)
Boss NS-2
#10
Intro: Pretty cool; sets a nice mood.

A: Also pretty cool; so far, so good.

B: It sounds cool, but the rhythm seems a bitt off because of the hammeron from 7 to 8

?: A nice little breakdown; probably shouldn't repeat though.

C: Not a bad solo.

D: Nice.

E: I can't really say I like this much; it's like you put it in just because you thought you should have a breakdown.

F: I like this.

G: This seems to have some rhythmic issues, and isn't really original in any way.

H: Pretty cool, but doesn't fit in place.

B: Again pretty cool.

C2: Not bad.

J: This part is good.

Epic outro: Doesn't fit, but it's really good.

Overall, you have a lot of cool parts in this, but they don't really fit together; it doesn't feel as much like a song as a medley.

C4C? It's the link in my sig.
Last edited by herby190 at Sep 16, 2009,