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#1
do your worst. no item is safe, be it a custom Sadowsky or that crappy tuner you got for your birthday. they can be for or against the item as long as it is both bass gear related and funny as hell.

ex.
2 men walk into a bar. one orders a 10 year old scotch, the other orders a complimentary water. the guy with the scotch says, "why aren't you drinking alcohol, man? it's a bar!" the guy with the water says "wait for it" and nods towards the band playing. suddenly, a terrible wail screeches through the air and every glass on the counter breaks, and everyone covers their ears. "how'd you know!" said the man with the scotch, while the other man asks for a real drink. "it's a Behringer."
Quote by FatalGear41
I wouldn't call what we have here on the Bass Forum a mentality. It's more like the sharing part of an AA meeting.

Quote by Jason Jillard
HUMANITY WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.


Warwick Fortress>>Acoustic AB50

http://www.myspace.com/rustingbloom
#2
LMFAO!!!! ahahahahhahahah....audio jokes!!! FTW!!!
If you want to get laid, go to college,
If you want education go to a library

-Frank Zappa-
#6
Quote by Tostitos


Ibanez SR506BM
Ashdown Little Giant 1000w
Peavey TVX 115+410
A big ass upright

#7
erm...


jazz on a thunderbird?
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
#8
your jokes need more help !!

so a t-bird walks into a bar, and says he'd like a beer and a piece of chicken. the bartender says "huh? I can't hear you."
Quote by FatalGear41
I wouldn't call what we have here on the Bass Forum a mentality. It's more like the sharing part of an AA meeting.

Quote by Jason Jillard
HUMANITY WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.


Warwick Fortress>>Acoustic AB50

http://www.myspace.com/rustingbloom
#9
Your mom's heavier then a Peavey TNT 115....

I own one.... I want it gone....
You can call me Aaron.


♠♣♥♦
Out on parole, any more instances of plum text and I get put back in...
#10
I'll give it a shot.
Um . . . Whats the difference between a T-bird and a rotting log?

Answer: you can play music with the log.
#12
I thought the Spector design was licensed to Warwick for their Streamer line?
Warwick freak of the Bass Militia. PM Nutter_101 to join

Quote by elliott FTW
Damn you and Warwickyness

Quote by ScottB
Quote by CLIFF_BURTON
gm jack knows everything
+1
#14
^ NO ITS NOT!!11!1oneoneone!1!!1

Quote by the humanity
so a t-bird walks into a bar, and says he'd like a beer and a piece of chicken. the bartender says "huh? I can't hear you."


Sigged
Quote by C0_0kie
guitar solo - "meh, every song got one"
bass solo - "OMGZ0R U IS PRO MENZ"


Quote by lucertia.
fapfapfapfapfapfap


burgerburgerburgerburger


Quote by DeAd-RiP
Sir I would like to sex your bass.
#15
So a new factory is being built in Stockholm, to make a new generation of airships. All the press releases hint at a new technological development designed specially for these airships. Turns out, these new ships will not float on helium or any conventional gas, but in fact on pure Ibanez essence.

Do I fail?

Ibanez SR506BM
Ashdown Little Giant 1000w
Peavey TVX 115+410
A big ass upright

#16
So an Ampeg and a Gallien Krueger are at the gym working out, trying to shed some pounds. The Gallien Krueger runs on the treadmill, does some benching, squatting, curling, and all that deal. The Ampeg just sat by the door while the Gallien Krueger powered through everything in the place. Confused, the GK walked over to the Ampeg, questioning it as nicely as it could. "Hey, man." said the Gallien Krueger "Why don't you do some working out with me?" The Ampeg replied calmly. "Oh, well I'm still warming up."

THIS

/Tube jokes.
Schecter Stiletto Studio 5
Ibanez SRX2EX1
Gallien Krueger 1001rbii
Gallien Krueger Neo 410
#17
Quote by Deliriumbassist
It was. My joke is therefore ironic.

Warwick is better

*victory thrust*

Psh, Spector > Warwick. (blahblah, I like the Spector necks, bodies, and sounds better)


A Guitard walks into a bar and sees a young fellow in question. The young fellow was seeking advice in amplification. The Guitard responded with, "You should try a Line 6 Spider." The young fellow responded with, "but I'm a bassist." The Guitard, knowing everything about amplification, rebuttal with, "Oh, you should try a Behringer, that's what my bassist has!"
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....
#18
Quote by Deliriumbassist
It was. My joke is therefore ironic.

Warwick is better

*victory thrust*



Err... lemme think...

What did Michael Stipe say when he got his beginner bass gear?

"I've got my wine, I've got my Orange Crush"

Last edited by JamieMcMe at Sep 5, 2009,
#19
So i walk into a music shop, i do, and i says to the music shop man, i says can i buy a bass, i did, and he says to me,
**** of and go learn a real instrument!!!1

ha ha ha
Yamaha TRB1006
Fender MIA jazz bass
Hora Hybrid double bass
Hartke lh 500
Ev 606L
Epiphone les paul
#20
*walks on stage*


Pete Wentz Signiture Model


*walks off stage*
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
#21
Quote by ChemicalFire
*walks on stage*


Pete Wentz Signiture Model


*walks off stage*

I find the fact that he used the Squier model to record one of their CDs hilarious.

More on that here. Also, like the nice plug pull at 0:37 without turning the amp off. I wish the speaker blew out for irony.
Last edited by Steve08 at Sep 3, 2009,
#23
A world weary tour manager, keeping a bottle of absinthe company in a Parisian hotel bar, finally sees the green fairy.
"Alright, buddy? How's it goin'?" asks the fairy, stubbing out a Gauloises.
"F**king shockin', fairy dude" says the tour manager, "I've got to keep these ar**oles together, and they don't even sound any good! Talk about low budget? They'll be the death of me, I tells ya..."
Stroking its little stubbly chin (bit on the rough side, you see), the fairy says; "I'm a bit of a whizz on mystical musical fixes; might be able to help you out"
Predictably, the tour manager lapses into unconsciousness, and awakes the next morning. Minus shoes, thumping hangover, suspiciously itchy down there, in a bus shelter; the whole deal. Crumpled up in his hand is the weirdest shopping list ever, complete with the applications for the items.
Vaguely remembering the fairy's insistence that he had to get said items, and seek out said fairy to finish the mystical makeover, he trudges off into the streets of Paris.
Firstly, he buys a pound of beef for the guitarists' amp. Then a jar of pickled herring and a handful of cat fur for the drums. Clary sage and lavender for the singer. Two bricks and a 'Hello Kitty' keyring for the PA system. A single ostrich feather and the complete works of Rene Descartes, he buys for the keyboard rig.
So on it goes, until at the bottom of the list, he conveniently (at least for the sake of the tale...) finds himself outside a guitar shop. Going in, he approaches the counter, and starts to ask in stilted French, "Je voudrais...ummm...une.."
But it's okay, the guy behind the counter studied Political Science in London, and speaks excellently the English. So the tour manager (rather late in the story, and therefore somewhat pointlessly, we'll call him Colin*. Colin it is, then...) says; "I'll take a 5 amp fuse, 10 heavy plectrums, and a bottle of lemon oil, for a Behringer bass amp"
Pausing for a moment, the bloke behind the counter leans over and says; "Forget ze lemon oil, and eet's a deal."


*Would Bill be better? Bill the tour manager. Or Dave, maybe? Big Dave. Sounds like a tour manager. Example: "Yeah, we better get paid for the gig, or Big Dave's gonna sort you out." Dave would've been much more betterer; not Colin. That's rubbish.
#26
Well, the guy says, "I'll take a 5 amp fuse, 10 heavy plectrums, and a bottle of lemon oil, for a Behringer bass amp" And the store clerk assumes he's saying he wants to trade the fuses, picks and lemon oil for the amp. The clerk then tries to haggle him down because behringers are so bad. Isn't really funny when you have to explain it is it?
At least I hope to high holy hell that's what it is or else I'll be frightfully embarrassed.

Very funny joke though.
#28
I loled CJ '73.

and quit mentioning just random instruments. you can be more creative than that.
Quote by FatalGear41
I wouldn't call what we have here on the Bass Forum a mentality. It's more like the sharing part of an AA meeting.

Quote by Jason Jillard
HUMANITY WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.


Warwick Fortress>>Acoustic AB50

http://www.myspace.com/rustingbloom
#30
That was good

Ibanez SR506BM
Ashdown Little Giant 1000w
Peavey TVX 115+410
A big ass upright

#31
Quote by jazz_rock_feel
At least I hope to high holy hell that's what it is or else I'll be frightfully embarrassed.

Rest easy sir, you are correct.

Quote by the humanity
...quit mentioning just random instruments. you can be more creative than that.

More creative? I thought it was quite long enough!

Quote by Tostitos
Damn, that was so long and smart I think part of my head just exploded
Sigged.

Ok, so...
A guy puts his Warwick back in its' case, goes out of the rehersal studio, and walks into a bar. "Ouch!". Well, he should've been watching where he was walking, shouldn't he?

What's the difference between a Fender and a Gibson?
One's a range of mahogany basses, the other can be found on your car.
#32
Quote by creepingjesus73
Ok, so...
A guy puts his Warwick back in its' case, goes out of the rehersal studio, and walks into a bar. "Ouch!". Well, he should've been watching where he was walking, shouldn't he?



be careful with that one; that's an antique you've been modding
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Yay fibonacci!
#35
Quote by creepingjesus73
More creative? I thought it was quite long enough!

I was not referring to you with that one. you gave an example of what to do.
Quote by FatalGear41
I wouldn't call what we have here on the Bass Forum a mentality. It's more like the sharing part of an AA meeting.

Quote by Jason Jillard
HUMANITY WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.


Warwick Fortress>>Acoustic AB50

http://www.myspace.com/rustingbloom
#37
Quote by Tostitos
what do you get when you mix a British city with a Gibson bass?
London Bridge is Falling Down!!!!!

fixed.

you're welcome.
Quote by FatalGear41
I wouldn't call what we have here on the Bass Forum a mentality. It's more like the sharing part of an AA meeting.

Quote by Jason Jillard
HUMANITY WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.


Warwick Fortress>>Acoustic AB50

http://www.myspace.com/rustingbloom
#38
even though im an epiphone thunderbird owner (which i actually like playing xD) i'll joke about it.

What do a Thunderbird and a High diving enthusiast have in common

they both love to dive.
Guitar Gear
Guitar: Ibanez GRG140 (black)
Amp:Peavey Vypyr 75


Bass Gear
Bass: Fender P-bass MIM,Peavey Millenium 5 BXP (x2),Epiphone Thunderbird
Amp:Ampeg PF500 w PF210 cab
Pedals: ODB-3,Big Muff.
#39
Quote by Razgriz_101

What do a Thunderbird and Cristiano Ronaldo have in common?
they both love to dive.


fixed
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
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