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#1
Take stuff that you've heard throughout the day that makes sense in the situation but becomes awkward and hilarious out of context and post it here. For example:

"And then guess what I'll do to your corpse."
"Its okay for me to sexually harass her because she's my girlfriend's cousin."
"Just pee on their faces."
"This is insane! The house shot her!
"A pretty girl covered in giant fish brains."
"That's how I pick up chicks. I just go, 'You, me, hooorrahahhh!'"
"Alex, when I masturbate tonight I'll imagine you covered in ranch dressing."
"If it makes you feel any better, I just took a mingin'-ass shit. The kind that sounds like diarrhea but is solid."
Like punk the way it used to be? Deranged Youth Its like what Warped Tour should be!

Want to hear something mind-blowing? Pit O' Bodies Its like an amateur hypnotist plus the Spanish Inquisition!
Last edited by pitobodies at Sep 3, 2009,
#2
"midgets arent people"
everything purple tastes like grape
everything blue tastes like blueberry
everything pink tastes like watermelon
everything red tastes like strawberry
everything orange tastes like orange
everything yellow tastes like lemon
#4
I live amongst strange people. I myself am one of them. These all made sense.
Like punk the way it used to be? Deranged Youth Its like what Warped Tour should be!

Want to hear something mind-blowing? Pit O' Bodies Its like an amateur hypnotist plus the Spanish Inquisition!
#7
Quote by icaneatcatfood
It would be funnier if you put why they made sense next to em at least.


Then they wouldn't be out of context.

Derp.
Like punk the way it used to be? Deranged Youth Its like what Warped Tour should be!

Want to hear something mind-blowing? Pit O' Bodies Its like an amateur hypnotist plus the Spanish Inquisition!
#8
"No, you don't write your name on the paper, you write your ID number on the paper, like the Jews."

Not really out of context, but still an odd thing somebody said to me today.
#11
Well ironic but i thought the thread title was Quotes that become Paris Hilton when taken out of context.


So i would say Paris Hilton.
#12
"I don't use google for moral and political reasons"
Quote by GodofCheesecake
Excessive punctuation!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote by dhutton
+infinity

I have infinity.
Quote by metharian
yea its way too much for my little stick lol
#14
"No! Just grab and pull and if it shoots at you just let it finish."
My Gear
Jackson Pro Series DK2M
Epiphone Les Paul Custom
VOX AD50VTXL Valvetronix Amp
Dunlop Crybaby From Hell


Originally Posted By iron_maiden93

He wants to rape us....He raped me


#16
I'm not getting the whole "out of context" thing...they'd sound plenty weird in context in any situation

(Friend said this of a piece of chicken from KFC)
"Is there a bone in this thing?"
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#17
Have to say, I expected a Bel-Air...don't ask why.

"Imagine if Michael Jackson's ass was still black..."
Ibanez RG120
Schecter C-1 Classic
Bugera 6262 w/ Mesa Boogie Rectifier 4x12
Morley Bad Horsie Wah
Boss DD-7
Boss MT-2 (Keeley modded)

GODDAMMIT I need a G Decimator...
#18
at a bible study:
"thats some holy crap"
In speed versus emotional playing, i think of an M16 versus an M24. You can have 650 rounds per minute, or one round, one kill. Both should be in your arsenal.

PSN and XBL: xxWONDERxxBOYxx
Leave a message that you're from UG with your username
#19
Quote by RinestoneCowboy
Those all sound funnier in context, actually.


Haha, I was thinking the same thing...I saw no genuine "That's what she said" kind of things, just the kind of stuff people put in their sigs here.
#23
"My grandma throws better than you and she has no arms!"
Quote by hendrix_128
because its hot when two girls have sex. when two guys have sex, its ****ing gay.
#24
Quote by domino_92
'Where does it go again?'


I think this is the first one that actually works.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#25
"what do u mean its not hard?"
Quote by Valid12891
I wish I had an extra sensitive third nipple, and a girl who was into that sort of thing.

Quote by _Ixnay_
In Russia, Winter Cold + Vodka + Big-Chested Women = No problem.


Book of shadows 2?
O_o
#26
Quote by floppypick
I think this is the first one that actually works.


indeed. all the others miss the point entirely.

"when You return, Captain Darling will pump you thoroughly in the debriefing room"
#27
"omg, its everywhere!!!!! all thru my hair...omfg "
Quote by Valid12891
I wish I had an extra sensitive third nipple, and a girl who was into that sort of thing.

Quote by _Ixnay_
In Russia, Winter Cold + Vodka + Big-Chested Women = No problem.


Book of shadows 2?
O_o
#28
It's A Trap
Signature Signature Signature Signature Signature Erutangis Erutangis Erutangis Erutangis Erutangis Erutangis Signature Signature Signature Signature Signature Signature Erutangis Erutangis Erutangis Erutangis Erutangis
#29
"Now it places the lotion in the basket ... now it places the lotion in the basket ... PUT THE (EXPLETIVE) LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!!! (Holding nipples) AHHHHH! AHHHHHHH!"

"I like simple pleasures, like butter in my (expletive), lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy."

Actually, that's one that doesn't have to be taken out of context.
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
#30
I get alot of these passing by conversations and I have perfect timing to always hear the weirdest line

some examples:
"You can't get it until christmas"
"so when Im 60 my only option would be to date a 14 year old girl because they are still pure"
"It never happened like that before"
"It got all over my chest"


pronouns ftw
Bands I must see in concert
Silvertide
The Black Crowes
Jackyl
Black Stone Cherry
AC/DC
StoneRider
Freedomhawk
The Darkness and/or the sideprojects of the band members
Buckcherry
The Answer

Theres more. But those are the main ones
#31
This isn't one that I heard in real life, but I saw it on a list of dumb quotes and it's completely taken out of context.


“I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

Dan Quayle
Smith and Weston Jr. was a son of a gun,
He pressed his nose up to my head,
I was sweating bullets but I dodged the one
That was not as much sweat as was lead.
#32
Quote by pitobodies
Then they wouldn't be out of context.

Derp.


But then the quotes would actually be funny.

Derp. Derp.

INTOLERANCE IS IGNORANCE


Quote by kosmic
Holy Moses.
haha
#33
Quote by mktrevor
“I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

Which is five hours away from California, which isn't even that stupid of a quote. People are just that dumb and blew it out of porportion.

I'm not even backing him up, I just hate stupidity.
#34
what kensai said in my sig
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#35
Quote by sw1ss023
"I don't use google for moral and political reasons"



But thats funny even in context.
#38
"it feels good in my mouth, but i would never swallow it."
"i go both ways"
both from the same kid
Guitars:
PRS SE Custom 24
Partscaster
MIM Tele
Gear:
Em Drive Clone (w/ Klon buffer) > Paramount Clone > OCD > Westminster Effects Knox 800 > ISP Decimator > m5 > Nova Repeater > Trinity T2 > W.E. Sturgeon Reverb > AC15C1
#39
From our friend brayden, randomly he yells at us. "Why can't I be straight?!!!" we started laughing so hard that we didn't hear the "with you guys" he said right afterward.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#40
"YEAH? my microwave has three buttons....."
Quote by MightyAl
A girl is a mythical creature, somewhat akin to a unicorn, or chimera.
They don't really exist, but it would be cool if they did.
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