#1
Sitting, quietly elated but with a frantic, fizzing belly,
I'll check for texts and find an empty phone.
That kills it. Totally placid now. The elation's gone.
The belly stays. Uncomfortably warm.
Acid and sharply darting real live butterflies fill me.

My phone sets my breast a'buzzing.
Something like a pacemaker, I think,
kick starts my heart. I won't check it yet -
just turn it off. Don't scramble for buttons,
just slip the cover -it's quicker, easier, lazier.

Snap the spine and the ribs. Pull out the lungs.
Fold the bones back (they'll resemble wings).
Give it a squeeze to find it's already pulsating
too unequivocally for you to catch a grasp.
What a waste of time pulling open my chest but
it's wasted less than rest for there's no peace in me.
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#2
i really like this. i know that's not helpful at all, but maybe still nice to hear?
when birds flap their wings do the make believe they're really arms?
#3
This is great. Really great. It feels a bit different from you.

I think the start is too slow. By the end of the first line I'm reading quite quickly (at the same pace as the rest of the piece), but the first line is concentrated on it slowly accelerating to the normal point.

I think I like a'buzzing over a buzzing.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#4
Sitting, quietly elated but with a frantic, fizzing belly,
I'll check for texts and find an empty phone.
That kills it. Totally placid now. The elation's gone.
The belly stays. Uncomfortably warm.
Acid and sharply darting real live butterflies fill me.

(That kills it is a bit strange, I didn't really get it? Acid and sharply darting real live butterflies fill me... not sure if I like this metaphor... It's a bit too over the top to explain elation over a text?

My phone sets my breast a'buzzing.
Something like a pacemaker, I think,
kick starts my heart. I won't check it yet -
just turn it off. Don't scramble for buttons,
just slip the cover -it's quicker, easier, lazier.

(Nice stanza)

Snap the spine and the ribs. Pull out the lungs.
Fold the bones back (they'll resemble wings).
Give it a squeeze to find it's already pulsating
too unequivocally for you to catch a grasp.
What a waste of time pulling open my chest but
it's wasted less than rest for there's no peace in me.

(Bit of a sharp switch, not sure if I understand it. I also didn't like the way chest, less and rest were so close together, it created a strange rhyme scheme that contrasts the rest of the song)

Other than that I actually really like these lyrics... You're clearly talented.

Crit mine please?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1194825