#1
Just to let you know before you read this, i would like you to know that i'm a novice and i could use all the help i can so please comment on my stuff as much as you can. i'm not sure if my stuff is any good so i could use as much advice as possible, thanks. Also i don't know what this song is called yet, nor is it finished, i just wanted to know what people thought of the first verse

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I breathe in the air around me
I see that my thoughts have finally found me

theres nothing new
that i can do

so let me be

I hold onto all of my mistakes
i hope that they put me in my place

but i'm afraid
today's the day
that i will stop running away
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well thats it right now, lemme know what's good and what's bad with the verse or if there is any of either. thank you
#2
Sounds like a good start to me. I'm not the best lyricist. But expand on it more, and it could be pretty good.