#1
im writing a song that is based a litttle off the band death and i would like some advice its a rough draft its manly done but except the solos i want to make sure the song is good b4 o write them.

there is a rhythm change in it and there is no bass or drums yet and I WILL DO c4c.
Attachments:
death song.zip
#2
I found the intro too long, and the rhythm in that part was a little boring. The varying time signature is somewhat confusing to me, but I'm not really into that kind of stuff. I really liked the lead on the first chorus, the second chorus is okay, I prefer the first. The rhythm change was cool, I think it'll be more significant once you add in a solo.
All in all, it's a very Death-y song, which is good. Just needs drums, a solo, and vocals and it would sound cool.
Bari Build

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#3
Intro is cool. Nice use of sweep picking. As I listen, you're focusing way too much on being technical and not flowy. It just seems like 30 riffs crammed together with no real flow to the song. 27/16 time? Really, that's just pointless. Sorry for being a prick, but that's just they way I feel.
Check out my band Disturbed
#4
Crit as I listen

I liked the intro. I'm at the chorus now and I agree with StewieSwan in that it seems like you are being overly technical for the hell of it. The alternate time signature riffs don't flow, and the 27/16 and 13/8 measures sound bad on the last note. It rings out too long. Shorten it a bit (or extend it) to make it 7/4 and 6/4 respectively (my apologies if some math is wrong). The second chorus is the best section since the intro. Once again, why not just play the 17/16 breakdown in 4/4? Unless the other members in a band situation really know their stuff when it comes to timing, everything will fall apart.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1197108
#5
Intro drags on for too long... Once would be enough. Otherwise, fine. Nothing grand, but acceptable. The verse riff have potential, but scrap the 13/8 bar and make a bar that ends with the G# and A power chord in the transition bar between the intro and the riff... would add a lot to the coherency of the song. The second riff isn't very good at all, just scrap.
Chorus is okay, the second chorus would be quite great if you just made it in 4/4... all these time signature changes are completely unnecessary.
The rhytm change riffs are cool, you know why? They're consistent, they don't change time signature every other bar. The "2nd solo" drags on for too long though... make it half as long.

So, I'd give it a 4/10, keep trying though... writing music this complex is hard.