#1
This is my first go at writing lyrics, constructive crit and improvements please.

This is about resistance against power, specifically about how Indian people gradually forced the British out of their country in 1948.

See if you can spot the various metaphors (although at the end, it goes a bit violent to emphasise on hate)


False assumptions made under the press, you want to
Clean up this mess they've made.
I tell you we're not impressed, at the
State of distress we're in.

So you see the light, on your face today,
Got to get away and fight for the truth.
We'll stand together, and free ourselves,
Got to get straight back to our roots. (It's possible)

The black suits rolling by, as they are
Guaranteed undenied success.
Tripping over our souls again, they need to
Flip the coin to impress.

So you see the light, on your face today,
Got to get away and fight for the truth.
We'll stand together, and free ourselves,
Got to get straight back to our roots. (It's possible)

(Solo)

Punch the cheek where it missed you,
Fight off the leeches.
Don't hide away under yourself, you've got to
Repay those breaches.

Never set aside,
For those willing to kill you.
It's time to stand up,
and I tell you what...

It's possible
#2
This is really nice! I recently wrote a lyric based (loosely) on British colonialism. :P
<<My lyric. Critique, please?

You can't change the world but you can make a dent.
#4
Some of the rymes are a bit forced, and so it sometimes loses meaning

e.g repay those breaches
doesn't really sound right to me


apart from that it's quite a nice piece,
what kind of music is it? =>
#5
Thanks, as this is a first draft, I will probably edit those out when it comes to the final version... however, I am quite happy with the response this is getting

This would probably be soft at the start, and would become heavier after the solo (think the 'earth song' by michael jackson).
I think pop/rock (but not too heavy)

Thanks again,
AJ
#6
Hi, please i need some more crit on this... i have no idea at all how to improve this! :S
Anyone else who can help me?

Thanks,
AJ