#1
Here's a new song I just finished yesterday. I've never put anything up on UG to be critiqued, so I thought I would give it a shot. Lots of harmonies and lead work. Complete with guitars, bass, and drums. It's meant to be instrumental.

I suppose I'll do C4C as well.

Please tell me what you think, what might need some tweaking, etc. I'm relatively new to drums so advice on that would be nice.

GP5

MIDI
#4
I think it is indeed cheesy in some parts and also very repetitive, but I like some parts of it also.
Really digging the groove parts at the end, sounds good on a 7 string guitar I must say.
#7
Hmm I suppose I could've guessed 59-63, but I didn't think 22-27 would be considered cheesy. The fills maybe?
#8
22-27 cheesy? Don't think so, actually. Aside from the tremolo that's my favorite riff

The only thing "cheesy" I guess might be the title >_>
Glance into my eyes
and see the darkest shadows dancing
Playing in the desert of my life
Burning, -
and my soul is descending...



#10
i really enjoyed it, some really catchy licks, however some of the note phrasing and timing could be improved, like in bar 28. and that riff. some of the riffs started sounding very similar. the key changes help, but the transitions could be smoother.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1195739
Quote by pentagram_man63
I played a G on the 3rd fret e string and ask:

"What note is this?"

"... Three"

#11
Hmm, don't know if I agree about the riffs starting to blend together, but I know that I've always had some degree of trouble with transitions.
#12
It's pretty good, and fairly catchy but it's really the transitions that are stopping it from sounding like a song and more like a collection of riffs. It seems to jump from one feel to another far too rapidly and randomly for my liking.
The way bar 26 pauses then goes back into the riff seems to 'lurch' rather than flow, it seems very awkward and then going back into the tremolo picking section doesn't seem to fit at all.
All in all a solid piece, just sort out the transitions
ohai little sig.
#14
Well one way I use to transition from one riff to another would be using a fill on the drums and maybe some extra guitar or bass parts to fill that long space at 26 so it doesn't seem like a pause and keeps the flow going. Most of the time even a simple drum fill will do just fine. Just try experimenting and try thinking about it in your head first. What would sound good and keep the flow going in the song? If you need help with transitions I'd be happy to oblige. That's the main thing this song lacks is good transitions. Otherwise, as everyone else said, it's a very good song, well done . Thanks for the crit btw.
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Any chick that can dance with a walrus to Michael Jackson songs is hot in my book.
#15
Yeah, no problem man.

I'm really quite new at writing drums so I suppose it would only make sense for my transitions to suffer based on the fact that I can't write good fills hahah.

Practice makes perfect I suppose. I'll do some experimenting when I get some time.

Thanks for your input.