#1
hey forum. this is a song that i wrote one day after my friend's "girlfriend" cheated on him. it gave me inspiration. tell me what you guys think

-------------------------

liquid fire
drowning my conscience
fury burning in its wake

visions
of your face
quickly losing control

memories..
butchered
replaced with murderous thoughts

free me
from this entity
before i take your life

<chorus>
twisted figure
mangled bride
crashing metal
suicide

pinned to a tree
infectious disease
i destroyed you
while destroying me
</chorus>

suspicions
confirmed this day
bloody hatred awakened

homicide
savage actions
bones are crushed by my fists

aching heart
flooding mind
filling with the plots of your demise

roaring engine
clenched teeth
rush of morbidity flowing through my veins

<chorus>
twisted figure
mangled bride
crashing metal
suicide

pinned to a tree
infectious disease
i destroyed you
while destroying me
</chorus>

---guitar solo---

(breakdown)
i walked in on you
oppressive woman
you tried to stop me
but you knew you couldn't

i killed him with
these bloody knuckles
you lying wretch,
you know your next!
(/breakdown)

<chorus x 2>


#2
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Liquid Fire = Lava

What's more, you don't seem to have stayed true to your inspiration. It seems to just be a list of things that are unpleasant. I don't see how homicide has anything to do with a break up at all.


well, my friend told me about the break up then i decided to take the breakup to a whole new level i guess... kinda turned out to be like this.

and in this, liquid fire = hard liquor

i had a feeling someone would think that its lava

EDIT: lost the game. **** you and your sig xD
Last edited by Magicant at Sep 6, 2009,
#4
I wrote one kinda like this you might wanna check out
It's called This Kingdom Of Heaven Wreaks like Hell
I like yours
the only thing i see wrong is the flow
it seems kinda uneven in parts
Other than that pretty friggin awesome
#5
@ Zach and Ben: the flow is similar to Angel of Death by Slayer xD thats what i had stuck in my head all day that day

and yeah, ill check out your song Zach