#1
well, this is for the quicky word drop comp thingymajiggy, so nothing amazing, but seeing as i haven't written much for a long time, y'all can have at this one. if you like it, i'm sure stevie'll have the old comp up sometime soon. love, guys. c4c

dreamboat annie, bitch

the last time i heard the phrase "crack-a-lacking"
I was hanging naked from the ceiling, one leg bound to my spine,
the other swinging free in a melodramatic, fractured dance.
but anyway, the insidious tale of how i became hanging is one i care not
to weave upon this vestigial spindle, i won't offer to fellate you so freely.
let it be said, however, that with great gumption
i did awake amongst this fractured fields and realised
i should probably get crack-a-lacking.
#2
it's awful, y'know.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#3
Quote by kdownes

i won't offer to fellate you so freely.




I laughed at most of it, but it's a word drop-not like the pieces are actually supposed to be good..

Mine isn't much better.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#5
ehhh I want to say I liked some of it but I just don't think the word dropping was very smooth and the idea didn't make up for it. I hadn't looked at the list when I read it and could tell very easily all of the words that had to be there except fractured. This just makes for a cramped read with no punch when you try to force them all in such a small space in this manner. I didn't think the syntax helped either. It just tangled you up more and more.
How you compose your phrases might be something to try working on in you're future writings maybe.

I still owe you a couple more quick comments i think. I have dans la masion or whatever self stickied to try to get to sometime and if I have anything good to say then I'll pm you. Otherwise I'll be looking out to drop a line or two on you're next one.

have a nice day.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#6
I thought this was very mature.
No offence meant, but I've always thought your writing, Kyle, was forced and immature, but this just reaked of "I don't give a shit. I think it's funny and it works."
Confidence is ripe.
#7
^ oh, yeah, I agree entirely. I just disliked the content. I think you could do a lot with this tone. I'd love to see you write more with this tone.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#8
i'm probably going to tattoo this somewhere on my body. greatest poem ever? not even close, but still probably my favorite poem ever, so there's that.