#1
please crit my new metalcore song=)
c4c
Attachments:
SDVZ.zip
War Is Over
(If You Want It)

SorryForMyEnglish=)))

Accordion Muse S 384-K
#2
guys anyone?)
War Is Over
(If You Want It)

SorryForMyEnglish=)))

Accordion Muse S 384-K
#3
reminds me a lot of August Burns Red.
I like it. the intro up to bar 25 is pretty cool, like the melody, the rest is also quite cool. overall i liked it
#4
critting while listening:
nice harmonizations. i like the beat on the drums. it's standard, but keeps the motion flow and fits perfectly.
next part, still harmonized. sounds good, make me want to headbang, when the third guitar comes in and the drum pattern changes.
the transition from bar 25 to 26 sucks. ok, there is no transition. that sucks. d:
and the next riff isn't too great either. the drums somehow interfere with the guitar rhythm.
it's not terrible, but could be better.
the next riff.. to be honest, i dislike it a lot. especialy those palm muted leads.
until bar 45 it is annying to me.
but the part after that was cool. i like the feel of it.
then, the part from the beginning again. doesn't sound repititive though.
the missing transition again. and the wannabe-transition at bar 69 is crappy.
the heavier part is ok, but nothing to be impressed of.
that annoying riff again. sorry, i really dislike it.
the next riff.. is this riff necessary?
but the drums sound good, though.
the outro can work like this.
nothing too much wrong with it, if it should work as an outro.

all in all, this song has potential.
metalcore is a bit generic, and your song's obviously generic. but not bad at all.
get rid of the unecessary parts and those, which don't fit in the mood of the song

crit mine?
songs in my sig.
pls crit the second, if still nobody has critted it.
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Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
#5
Critiquing as i go:

Measure 1-9: i like the intro. its pretty good. one thing that i think you should do is whenever it comes to measure 9 on the second time around, you should take out the last 2 notes and replace with a slide.

Measure 10-25: wow, i really wasent expecting your verse to be this good. i really like this verse and although it sounds like as i lay dying, it is very very good.

Measure 26-32: i honestly dont really like the (i think) key change. it sounds a little awkward to me. but if a little awkward feel is what your going for then thats fine.

Measure 33-44: it seems like a pre-chorus type thing, i like the riffs here. good job.

Measure 45-48: this sounds very good. it would sound better to me if you repeat it 4 times.

Measure 70-79: sounds alright. works well with the song. i think you should replace that 7 on the end of measure 71 with a pinch harmonic.

Measure 94-103: I like this riff too, pretty generic but hey its good.

Measure 111-130: to be honest, when you transitioned from measure 11 to 112, it just killed the feeling of the song. the rest of the riffs i really didnt like and i think you should make up some riffs in the same key. maybe repeat Measure 45-48 (x4) and end on open or barring the 8th fret.

Overall it gets a 7/10
#6
The opening riff is sweet. Awesome intro.

The next riff is awesome as well, even if its a bit generic.

The key change in the next riff flowed well. The drums seemed a bit "unorganized" to me.

The riff starting at 35 was really good, very creative IMO.

The part starting at 70 was the first part I didn't really like. I don't really have any suggestions; it seems like one of those "fun to play, but not fun to listen to" riffs to me.

You ended it well too.

I like the song a lot, 9/10 from me; sorry I can't give more advice. I didn't think it was generic at all except for that riff that first showed up at bar 10.

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