#1
This is the first song I've written entirely on my own. It's basically supposed to be a love song about a boy that has lost the love of his life to a breakup.

There is no drum track yet, no lyrics either. I do however have all the lyrics written. Just not included in the track.

Feel free to crit as harsh as you'd like. I want to know where and what I can improve on.
Attachments:
love is lost.gp4
love is lost.gp5
Last edited by Vileartist at Sep 22, 2009,
#2
You should wait to post this until you have drums at least. It's absolutely uninteresting the way it is now. 97 with the lead was the only part that got my attention.
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#5
If you want, after I crit it, I could take my own shot at adding a drum track, just to fill in until your friend does it.

As is, I'd say it's a good start; it's pretty repetitive, but a good drum track could fix that, or at least help, although you should probably add another riff into the mix, at least. I'll really have to wait until that's added for a full crit.
Last edited by herby190 at Sep 9, 2009,
#7
Probably not a difference in the verse; I'd say like, a pre- or post-chorus or a bridge.
#10
Abit boring due to lack of drums and vocals but I think as a full song this would be quite good.

Love the lead lines in the chorus. Very catchy and playful in a certain way.

As a full song I would give this a 7/10 but now about a 5.5/10.

With some work this couldbe a great song.

Keep up the good work.
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#11
I'd say with solid lyrics and drums this could be pretty good. Some of the best songs are very repetitive and simple ie Wonderwall and others.

I like the lead at 97.
Everything else was just meh for me. Perhaps throw some leads...octaves or some single note runs do well sometimes

Overall 5/10 with what is there now.