#1
hey guys
this is my first attempt at writing a song
i dont have any lyrics written as yet, but theres a couple of lines i like
"im facing chaos" or "ive got my faith in chaos"
im quite proud of it, so i hope you guys like it too
feel free to comment/crit

EDIT!!:
this is the wrong file lol
download the other one later in the thread
Attachments:
Facing Chaos.gp4
Facing Chaos.gp5
CARPE DIEM


Quote by Butt Rayge
Hot chicks love it when you hit them.

If you don't hit them, you're weak.


GEAR:

ESP ECLIPSE-I
MARSHALL JCM2000 TSL601
DIGITECH RP250
Last edited by watto25 at Sep 8, 2009,
#2
It's okay. I understand the problems with programming, things get repetitive. A few more variations in the parts when you record (if) and it should sound good. Complicated time changes though.
#3
thats what i was aiming for. to have the changes in time sig.
CARPE DIEM


Quote by Butt Rayge
Hot chicks love it when you hit them.

If you don't hit them, you're weak.


GEAR:

ESP ECLIPSE-I
MARSHALL JCM2000 TSL601
DIGITECH RP250
#4
bar 38 faster tempo

bar 41 re-write riff

bar 50 make a syncopated riff to go over this and change drum pattern

bar 56 DO NOT GO BACK TO THIS RIFF!!! You can do one off three things. One, write a new riff with the same rhythm patterns. Two, Go straight ahead to the 6/8 per-outro. Or three, re-write this whole section.

bar 95 Faster tempo

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1194672
Last edited by Mellow Gold at Sep 7, 2009,
#5
Intro - Feels a bit detached from the rest of the song, maybe you should bring parts of it back later.
Main riff - This is a nice one, I found myself nodding more than once.
7/4 riff - Not as good as the main riff, but still ok...
Clean bridge - too messy man, there where really never any chord progression, just some random chords lumped together... redo.
Last riff - Hehe, feels a bit like "In the Hall of the Mountain King" by whatshisface.... anyway, quite awesomely menacing.

I'd give it 7/10 for the good riffs basically... try get some more structure to it, make an ending with the piano progression from the intro. It have got potential for sure... and scrap the 6/8 bridge.

Oh, and C4C: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1196528
#6
Inspector gadget riff?
^Note: Probably sarcastic
Gear
Schecter Blackjack C1-FR
Few Agile 8-strings
Ormsby Hypemachine 2014 otw!!

Carvin X-100B
axe-fx II

W.A musicians FTW
Quote by crisisinheaven
Deep*Kick. You have destroyed every concept of life I've ever had.
#8
wow thats embarrassing

upped the unfinished one...

heres the good version...i hope
Attachments:
Facing Chaos.gp5
CARPE DIEM


Quote by Butt Rayge
Hot chicks love it when you hit them.

If you don't hit them, you're weak.


GEAR:

ESP ECLIPSE-I
MARSHALL JCM2000 TSL601
DIGITECH RP250
#9
this reminds me off a crossover between Dream theater's glass prison and all nightmare long by metallica

I have to say it's catchy though
#10
This is really good, very impressed.

Intro - Not the best of intros, it didn't really fit the rest of the song.

Love the bass line that comes in. Maybe I'd have the snare on every third rather than on second and fourth to make it a bit more rhythmic.

I like the simple time sig change, not too complicated that you lose rhythm, but not simple enough to be boring, good mix. I'd say, maybe a snare or crash accent on the start of each bar to accent the sig change.

Not feeling the 6/8 bit, not so cool.

This sounds like Hall of the Mountain King to me, what a great piece of music.

Bar 111 - really liked this bit, very cool.

Outro riff - It's alright, but I don't feel it fits the song so well.

Overall - Like I said earlier, very nice piece. Well done!