Am I completely retarded or have more people heard that Zakk Wylde has his LP set up with an 81 in the neck and an 85 at the bridge? Its supposed to be a fatter, higher response set up and is different than the conventional.

Lol Im POSITIVE I've heard this before!
Both guitarists from Killswitch Engage use/used that (I think Adam uses the common 81 bridge & 85 neck setup now in his new parker sig though). Gives a lot smoother of a sound when paired with a high gain compressed amp and a tubescreamer/other decent OD as is evident by KSE's sound.
Jackson DK2M
Washburn WD-18SW
Ibanez RGR421EXFM
Genz Benz El Diablo 100w -> Framus Dragon 412
Boss GE-7
Ibanez TS-9