#1
This one's a bit short, but I'm a fan of it. I still have yet to put it in a song. It's definetly gonna be a short song haha

Right now, reasoning doesn't matter.
It's as messed up as it has always been, and I couldn't be happier.
I'm finally comming to my senses,
No longer am I drowning where you left me
While you're floating (or swimming) in a sea of laughter.
My ears have changed me,
And my ears have changed you.
No longer am I drowning where you left me,
For now I swim:
My ears doing the stroking;
Not my arms
And definetly not my legs.
Hopefully, I'm not being decieved
But instead being informed of what has played:
The game in the laughter,
Who wins now? I know how to swim too.
Tag. You're it.


I guess I'll C4C if you guys want me to. Peace
FUNK.

My acoustic orginals
My voice isn't that great...but take a listen. I still have yet to perfect my vocals


Sunshine
#2
Right now, reasoning doesn't matter.
It's as messed up as it has always been, Separate this line here and I couldn't be happier.
I'm finally comming to my senses,
No longer am I drowning where you left me
While you're floating [highlight](or swimming)[/highlight] in a sea of laughter.
My ears have changed me,This line and the next don't really fit because you go from learning to swim to your ears then back to drowning
And my ears have changed you.
No longer am I drowning where you left me,
For now I swim:
My ears doing the stroking; Now I still don't get the reason behind the ears but those two lines from earlier could fit after this line.
Not my arms
And definetly not my legs.
Hopefully, I'm not being decieved
But instead being informed told of what has played: This sounds better to me
The game in the laughter,How does a game of laghing have to do with swimming?
Who wins now? I know how to swim too.
Tag. You're it.Now we are playing tag? I am lost

Overall this would be a very good song as it is, but to make it extraordinaraly good you should fix the things about the ears and games. Keep on Writing
Comments or Suggestions
Omit or Change
Suggested Changes


I am the 24 Wild Rovers
If You Wish to Give C4C Click on the Smlileys
:
#3
With my ears, I'm taking about what I've heard. And I'm realizing that Marco Polo wasn't the right name. It should've been Skarks and Minnos or something haha.
But thanks for the help man. This isn't based litterally off of swimming, only metaphorically
FUNK.

My acoustic orginals
My voice isn't that great...but take a listen. I still have yet to perfect my vocals


Sunshine