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#1
What is the worst excuse ever seen or given? Mine was when my teacher gave us a week worth of homework that was worth three test grades and when she asked for them my friend said"I was too busy masturbating" and he got one day suspension, but was excused from the homework.
#4
Quote by joshua122593
"I used the searchbar."

I made a thread exactly like this a few weeks ago.


Got that one in quickly!

I've just read this a bit more carefully. Forget the above.
Quote by babakkatt
Whats wrong with asking a girl what kind of cheese she likes?

LOUD NOISES
#5
My friend was trying to get a day off of work.

He called in and said this...

"Some things came up."

He was given the day off.
Quote by hostilekid
shadesofanger, you're my hero.


Quote by GoldenBlues
So I was wondering, are black people capable feeling love? I mean can their brains comprehend that kind of emotion, or are they not programmed that way.
#6
I can't come to class because me legs suddenly got paralyzed( I didn't have to come)
#7
Quote by Antis0cial
I can't come to class because me legs suddenly got paralyzed( I didn't have to come)

Ha ha!
How long till they found out?
#9
Quote by SimulatedLizard
Ha ha!
How long till they found out?


They were actually paralyzed.... but still, no class
#10
I once had a minor infection in my throat which didn't prevent me from doing anything, but I didn't feel like going to school so I told my dad the day before: "If I feel any worse tomorrow, I'm gonna stay in bed." So all I had to do was just not setting my alarm clock and staying in bed
Quote by lockedandlogan
Let me get this straight. You're asking a bunch of people who are sitting at their computers, likely due to boredom, what to do for fun.



Quote by GaijinFoot
Old chinese proverb says: Man goes to bed with itchy bum, wakes up with smelly finger

Wise words
#12
Kid fell out of back of truck when trying to take a piss (drunk), told dad he fell of a bike.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


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#13
lol i said "im not going to lie, i didnt want to do it" to my math teacher and she let me go for honesty
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#14
Quote by The Contagen
Are you kidding me? Yours was the best excuse ever.

I c wut u did thar.
#15
Quote by bass-man9712
lol i said "im not going to lie, i didnt want to do it" to my math teacher and she let me go for honesty

Lulz. For homework?
#17
Quote by i_don't_know
I c wut u did thar.

i dont
Quote by Valid12891
I wish I had an extra sensitive third nipple, and a girl who was into that sort of thing.

Quote by _Ixnay_
In Russia, Winter Cold + Vodka + Big-Chested Women = No problem.


Book of shadows 2?
O_o
#18
my friends and i were rolling a blunt in a dorm last year. we were gonna go out and smoke afterwards
the cops came before that happened and found the weed.
i got in trouble with the dean.
i went and challenged it. i said i was sleeping when the cops knocked on the door and i didn't know they had any weed on them.

i got off the hook.
Go Veg.
#20
I phoned in and told my Asain boss that i'd become temporarily racist and would have to take the day off. Worked like a charm.
#22
lol ,my friend and me smoked a joint and his sweatshirt alwasy smells like it after we blaze and my teacher was like "brett why do your clothes smell like marijuana, do i need to search you?" and his reply was "i walked passed a couple of people smoking this morning" and it worked.
Gonna make the mountains be my home....

"A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through"-Robert Hunter
#25
Mom: "Honey, go clean your room"

Me: *puts arms out like an airplane and makes airplane noises around the room* "Cant mom, Ive gotta drop off the passengers"


This was when I was 18 btw
YELLOWFRIZBEE s FreezerBurn


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#26
Quote by yellowfrizbee
Mom: "Honey, go clean your room"

Me: *puts arms out like an airplane and makes airplane noises around the room* "Cant mom, Ive gotta drop off the passengers"


This was when I was 18 btw

Yeah I knew a guy who was down syndrome.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#27
What I do to get out of school is this: Call in and say "I won't be in school today".

Works every time! Or I just don't go.. I'm my own guardian so they gotta deal with me anyways lol.
#28
"Why didn't you do your work?"

"That's just the way it worked out"

Teacher laughed but it didn't work.
#29
My friend cheated on his girlfriend and when confronted by her he said, "I didn't do anything wrong." He must have been wearing some damn good pants when she took him back.
Can't stop the spirits when they need you This life is more than just a read thru
#30
My friend got caught with a bag full of drink when he was younger, his mum was fair strict on him. So he told her that when we were out some random girl asked him to hold it for her and forgot to come back for it..

Needless to say she didn't believe him.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#31
"David, why are there six cans of cider in your schoolbag?"
"Aw, eh, my friend gave me them, apparently he owed me them."
"...oh, ok. That's a bit mad, giving you them in school."
"Ha. That's what I said."

In reality it was prom leftovers which I hadn't removed. We were drinking them in the common room.

Edit:
Quote by SMH07
My friend got caught with a bag full of drink when he was younger, his mum was fair strict on him. So he told her that when we were out some random girl asked him to hold it for her and forgot to come back for it..

Needless to say she didn't believe him.

Heh. Take it to the worst excuse ever given that didn't work thread. Nice try though on his part.
Last edited by greenelephants at Sep 12, 2009,
#32
I forgot my homework because there was a power cut last night, and my alarm reset itself, and I woke up extremely late and forgot to take it in my hurry. Total bullshit, but one of my best.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#33
one time my friends dog actually did eat his homework.
"Bullshit is the glue that binds this nation together."
-George Carlin



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PM me to donate
#34
Quote by greenelephants
Edit:
Heh. Take it to the worst excuse ever given that didn't work thread. Nice try though on his part.


Aye.. I just noticed the "that worked" part upon coming back to this thread.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#35
When we were playing the boner game in lunch one day in 6th grade. My one buddy screamed boner the loudest I've ever heard anyone say boner. Then one of the teachers heard it and came over, and he said that he sneezed. She bought it and walked away. I haven't laughed so hard in my life.
#36
"My aunt died."

She did die, but I never even met her and didn't even go to her funeral. I felt kinda bad, though, cause my acting teacher made sure I was OK about it the next week.
#38
Quote by aaciseric
I phoned in and told my Asain boss that i'd become temporarily racist and would have to take the day off. Worked like a charm.

I lol'd
RIP Terje (Valfar) Bakken
#39
I once used the fact that I had to go to a Van Halen concert to get out of school. My teacher viewed that as a very valid excuse. That was an awesome concert

For homework: not understanding it, accidentally doing the wrong thing, and family emergencies generally work.
#40
Quote by bloodtrocuted93
I once used the fact that I had to go to a Van Halen concert to get out of school. My teacher viewed that as a very valid excuse. That was an awesome concert

For homework: not understanding it, accidentally doing the wrong thing, and family emergencies generally work.

Lucky mother ****er
e-married to Jack (bladez)
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