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#1
ok....idk if this falls under relationship thread, (knowing some of the ppl on here are goning to be d*cks and tell me that) but anyway,ive been with this girl for over to 4 years now, and she's perfect. we had a time when we broke up for a month and it got to the point i nearly killed myself from needing her.
met her through myspace, and after three years of going out with her i visited her in minnesota. then we got engaged.

anyway, my best friend went out with her best friend, and this dude got in the way of my friend and his girlfriend. (apparently he went out with my friends girl before she got with my friend got together.)

and he's a cool guy hes like a older brother to my girlfriend. only problem is he started talking to my girl about open relationships (because my girlfriend gets depressed since im not around)

now, my girlfriend has this idea of "sex is physical love is eternal" or something like that and she had that belief long before me and her got together, but she didnt tell me about it until now because she knew i probably wouldnt like it.
so she talked to me about it, and i said i dont like the idea, and she got depressed and went on with this whole "fine ill get rid of that part of me so you'll still love me"

and we kept fighting about it. because i want her happy and she wants me happy neither of us will come to a honest decision.

we stopped fighting for awhile, and last night we got into a fight again about it.

the first time we faught i gave in and told her she can have a open relationship, just as long as its strickly because she needs it and its only with the one guy and it goes no further then foreplay. and we agreed on that.

but now im gettin tired of it turning into a fight everytime me and her mention something about it.

im a laidback guy who normally wouldnt care. but part of me says it isnt right, the other part says let her be happy and respect it.

but i dont know what to do about it.

if i lose her ill end it all and i dont want to lose her.

oh and i also know she isnt cheating on me, not only because i trust her, but because shes the kind of girl who wouldnt, and i have my eye on both of them, so ive been able to confirm that there just friends. (for those of you who think that when you read it.) i do get paranoid about it though because i lost my ex girlfriend (before my current girlfriend) on valentines day when i walked in on her and my friend doin it. but thats a different subject.


so pit, what would you do in my situation? would you let her have a open relationship (under your terms) or would you keep telling her you dont like it, even though it makes her depressed (and my girlfriend can be suicidal at times keep that in mind)

i need opinions on this.
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#3
talk to her instead of the pitmonkeys?
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#5
What would I do?

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#6
Quote by k-train
my best friend went out with her best friend, and this dude got in the way of my friend and his girlfriend. (apparently he went out with my friends girl before she got with my friend got together.)


#8
Idk man, even I don't like the idea. tl;dr Your girl gets depressed when you say she can't do anything w/ anybody else?


That's what it sounds like to me. I also suggest you find another chick, do **** w/ her, don't leave your gf, but if she wants that access you deserve it too.
I've gotten a lot of LOLs in my time but I choose not to sig them to not look like a pretentious douchebag





#10
end it. She wants you to stick around runing round after her while she plays around with your friend? end it.
#11
Quote by Fiddelers elbow
Post in the relationship thread.
I would do this.



stratkat
#12
Relationship thread, but strictly from my point of view I think that's a little over the top and you're justified to think that way.
#13
Dump her.

I'm an RT regular and this **** isn't right. **** her off. Get rid of her.


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Find a dice and assign a number to each girl. Throw the dice.


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#14
So you're going to let her do stuff with other guys because she "needs" it? Sounds like a total crock of ****. Either you get better in the sack, or just accept the fact that your girlfriend wants to do stuff with other guys on the side. I suggest you start doing stuff with other girls, which she shouldn't have a problem with at all.
#16
Open relationship? Sounds like she just wants to **** another guy. If she's the kind of person who can't make the sex - love connection, you're never going to have a meaningful relationship in the long run.

Oh, also, better in the relationship thread. sorry
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#19
Well i wouldn't be cool with that. She can SAY that it's STRICTLY physical but when you've got some dudes dong in her mouth and it isn't yours? That just doesn't sit right with me. Some dude who isn't you is munchin' her box? Hell no! I would put my foot down (nicely, of course) and just please ask her to not do it.

I'm in a longdistance relationship now (dated 1.5 years in highschool, now at different faraway colleges) and we agreed, we're only for eachother. I'm sure neither of us would have any problems at all getting some strictly physical stuff, but we only want eachother and we agreed on that because we really love eachother.

That's just my opinion though. Although, were i you, i'd say no physical stuff. No foreplay, kissing, any of that bull****. That's a slippery slope, my friend.

also this
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do a really sweet back flip
Last edited by Altitudinous at Sep 13, 2009,
#20
Dump her... there are plenty of women out there that want a monogamous relationship. You shouldn't have to put up with that. As for you being suicidal at the thought of losing her...

You're 19 man... there's plenty of time to find another girl. You live about half an hour from me, and I can tell you that there are lots of women in the area.
#22
dude break it off. she obviously doesn't take your relationship seriously if she wants to fuck other guys on the side. And don't believe her when she says its just fooling around. they are doing it.
#23
I thought what paranoideyes thought.

It sounded like he only saw her once lol.

But dump her ass. She's treating you like ****.


Quote by Våd Hamster
Find a dice and assign a number to each girl. Throw the dice.


The number you hope for at the moment you throw the dice, is the one you'll want to keep.
#24
Quote by Altitudinous
Well i wouldn't be cool with that. She can SAY that it's STRICTLY physical but when you've got some dudes dong in her mouth and it isn't yours? That just doesn't sit right with me. Some dude who isn't you is munchin' her box? Hell no! I would put my foot down (nicely, of course) and just please ask her to not do it.

I'm in a longdistance relationship now (dated 1.5 years in highschool, now at different faraway colleges) and we agreed, we're only for eachother. I'm sure neither of us would have any problems at all getting some strictly physical stuff, but we only want eachother and we agreed on that because we really love eachother.

That's just my opinion though. Although, were i you, i'd say no physical stuff. No foreplay, kissing, any of that bull****. That's a slippery slope, my friend.


Amusing start, but I also agree completely (I'm also in a long distant relationship: I'm in Bristol going to UWE, she's in Salisbury going to Birmingham uni)
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#25
3 years and she wants to fool around w/ other guys? That is unacceptable. Just, completely unacceptable. If you're sure about them being friends, when in the hell would they have a conversation about you letting them fool around?

I understand it's hard, but she put you in a ****ed up situation. Get rid of her.
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#26
Screw. Her.
She's a slut. You've been tricked.
Move on to other girls.

...Yeah I'm a bit harsh at times.
#27
Dump her.

If she really cares about you, then she won't be interested in the physical stuff with others.

That stopping at foreplay stuff is just asking for trouble anyway. Do you want her to be a rape victim?

Long distance relationships aren't for everyone and they're definitely not for her.

Open relationships sound like fun at first, but it just isn't worth it. Relationships are hard enough without that crap.

Just end it now before you get in deeper and it ends really badly--especially before y'all bring kids into this world to be the victims of this doomed relationship.
#29
First of all, nobody is going to read all of that.

Second of all, how could you not tell this belonged in the relationship thread?

Third,

Quote by k-train
anyway, my best friend went out with her best friend, and this dude got in the way of my friend and his girlfriend. (apparently he went out with my friends girl before she got with my friend got together.)

This might be the most annoying paragraph I've ever read in my life.
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#30
well......instead of quoting alot of ppl ill sort it out throght this lol

the reason i posted on here was to get the opinions of others, ive talked to her about it and it gets into a argument so i wanted the advice of other people who might have different ideas or advice then what i heard already.


yes ive only seen her once. the rest of the time was through phone, yahoo im, webcam, and myspace.

the reason she wants this open relationship is apparently because she gets depressed because im not around and she thinks it will make her feel alittle better when she "needs it". and she also told me that it would only be very rare that she would do something with someone else.

and personally....... its alittle to late to find someone else. im not exactly a well liked guy. most of the people who do like me (both as friends and more) met me on myspace because i like giving advice to people when there depressed. ive even helped a few who were about to kill themselves (like my girlfriend) so basically what im saying is people never like me, unless they get to know me mentally.
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#33
Quote by Misticalz
3 years and she wants to fool around w/ other guys? That is unacceptable. Just, completely unacceptable. If you're sure about them being friends, when in the hell would they have a conversation about you letting them fool around?

I understand it's hard, but she put you in a ****ed up situation. Get rid of her.



its honestly not her that started it its the a**hole that shes friends with that pushed the subject.
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#34
Quote by i am iron man
Easy. tell her fair game as long as you can bang other chicks aswell.
Sorted.



that is a good idea......
rise against fan

Quote by Andrea55
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#35
How the hell are you engaged from only meeting once?

I've come to a conclusion.

You're an idiot. Go out of your god damn house. Get off the internet and find a real girlfriend.

Don't be so god damn immature about this. Get rid of her. You're being stupid.


Quote by Våd Hamster
Find a dice and assign a number to each girl. Throw the dice.


The number you hope for at the moment you throw the dice, is the one you'll want to keep.
#36
Drive to were she lives. Screw her. Dump her. Go to a party, take advantage of drunk chicks. Continue to do the last piece of advice until you find somone who likes you. Problem solved.
#37
Mate you cannot be serious?!
Youve seen her once and you're engaged????


My advice? She wants sex, you're not giving it to her, unless your penis is miles and miles long and can reach her from that distance.

I'd find a different girl, preferably not from the internet.
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#38
Quote by k-train
its honestly not her that started it its the a**hole that shes friends with that pushed the subject.



And she let it continue. She's being an enabler for them having a physical relationship? **** THAT.
I've gotten a lot of LOLs in my time but I choose not to sig them to not look like a pretentious douchebag





#39
"my girlfriend has this idea of "sex is physical love is eternal"

This translated into modern day English is:

"I'm a filthy, filthy *****."

Move on bud.
#40
Quote by M_G
Mate you cannot be serious?!
Youve seen her once and you're engaged????


My advice? She wants sex, you're not giving it to her, unless your penis is miles and miles long and can reach her from that distance.

I'd find a different girl, preferably not from the internet.



well technically i will be giving it to her...... within the next year shes gonna try moving up where im at(she wants to go to college and i go to pennstate, college there is pretty expensive compared to soom other places and the local community college here isnt. so its better because a) i dont have to quit college b) she gets better education c)we can move to minnesota after college)

like i said this dude kept bringing it up and because of that she feels like she needs to ask me about it, just to respect his opinion. thats how it sounded the way she said it anyway.

she wont do anything without me saying ok though. we established that idea when the arguments started.
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